Blighted Elf!
by JessyHawke
Summary: Hawke has only one true defense- Sarcasm. And only one weakness- a Blighted Elf! There are ups and downs, and Anders complicates everything. How like life... This is about Hawke and her relationships with her companions in general. Paying special attention to her complicated romance with Fenris, sexual tension with Anders, and her tight-knit bond with Varric.
1. The Deep Roads

**AUTHORS NOTES: **Ok folks. I will be perfectly honest: I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE. And I have a feeling that there is a pretty good chance that this might even be taken down because of the way I did this. But, I'm going to roll these dice and see what happens. In truth, this is sort of a Fanfiction of Fanfiction. My decision to start writing this was purely out of the frustration that my favorite stories about Fenris and Hawke always seem unfinished.

**Milena Jace: Raven** : LOVED Hawke in this, but it abruptly ends right before Hawke faces off with the Arishok.

**cellotlix: To be Free** : I could not stop reading this. I stayed up almost all night, trying to finish it and then- NO ENDING. UGH!

Soooo, the method to my madness has been a kind of to create Hybrid between these two stories- with a ton of my own content in the mix. Again. This could be seen as a big no, no. So to these authors- I am sorry in advance.

My goal is to post every Friday evening, until my story is completed. I PROMISE there will be an ending. If I don't finish this everyone, out there on the vast inter-web has my permission to punch me in the face. Other wise. If this thing manages to stay up here- I would love some feed back :)

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_**WARNING: **It is only fair that I warn all of my potential readers that I am in fact dyslexic. How is this relevant to you? Well, in a nut shell must people that suffer from dyslexia general either can't or have a very hard time reading/writing. The fact that I can read/write as well as I do- is kind of a miracle._

_But unfortunately my ability to catch type-o's and spelling errors that I do make, is extremely limited. I do obsessively read, and re-read my work in attempt to find as many of mistakes as I can. But there will inevitably be some that slip through the cracks._

_I here by promise to try, to the best of my ability to keep you all from suffering too much from my disability. I hope that you all are still able to enjoy what you find here! Thank you for your patience and understanding._

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**CHAPTER 1**

Marian Hawke was cold, exhausted, covered in dirt, blood and probably another half dozen types of filth she didn't even want to think about. She would have killed for a hot bath. Maker knows she had killed for seemingly smaller matters since she arrived in Kirkwall.

_Ah the Deep Roads. Just where I always wanted to be_, Hawke thought to herself mirthlessly.

She sat on a jagged boulder, hunched over with one elbow on her knee. Her hand curled into a loss fist as it propped up and supported the dead weight of her sleepy head. She held her opposing arm slightly away from herself as she twirled one of her many daggers through her fingers.

She was trying to look bored. It wasn't working. Every few minutes she would abruptly stop spinning her dagger to check her reflection in it's shinning surface. Just to see if she looked any less miserable. Her grey eyes and pale skin seemed to glow eerily, like the bright lyrium veins that were all over the cavern walls. She saw nothing in her reflection but the fear and doubt that continued to build up in the back of her mind. Huffing a disgruntled breath, she would blow the pieces of her short raven hair out of her eyes and resume her twirling.

If anyone had told Hawke a year ago, that she would be joining an expedition to the blighted Deep Roads with a silver-tongued dwarf, a possessed mage and a broody elf- she would have laughed. Laughed until she fell to the ground, clutching her aching sides as she meagerly attempted to compose herself. But here she was...

Everyone knew the stories of the Deep Roads and the horrible things that happened there _or here_. Darkspawn killed men, but women were dragged with them underground, never to be seen again. No one knew what happened to them down there, but it was not too difficult to come up with a plausible scenario. After all, the darkspawn came human-sized, dwarven-sized… you name it. And now they were trapped and lost in this hell hole, with no map and no supplies. For all she knew they could be walking only deeper into darkspawn territory…

Thank the Maker she had convinced Bethany to stay behind in Kirkwall with mother. She had enough to worry about down here, without keeping on eye on her baby sister. Yes, yes, Bethany was a big girl now and a very capable mage. But Hawke had promised their father that she would protect their family not matter what. And after what happened to Carver...

Well that's why she was here now, wasn't it? Freezing to the bone, hoping to find something of value in this pit. If she was lucky she would return to Kirkwall with enough gold in her pocket to pay off the Templars. Hoping they just might turn a blind eye to one little apostate. There had to be bigger things for them to worry about with Quanari around. Literally.

"Unless I am mistaken..."

Hawke flinched, though impressively without dropping her blade. She had been so lost in thought, hours could have passed and she would be none the wiser. She sighed theatrically while sheathing her dagger and turned to face the source of the deep, growling voice.

"...Staring blankly at ones own reflection, does not count as keeping watch." Fenris was comfortably perched on one of the large stones that littered the passage. He looked not that much different from a gargoyle (_though far more pleasant to look at, Hawke had to admit_) as he stared into the darkness with his greatsword at his side, both ready to leap into action at first sight of darkspawn.

"Ah, but you are mistaken!" Hawke said jovially as she took her blade back out and held it as one might a looking-glass. "You see, I am watching this Marian Hawke here. The moment she shrieks and starts running for the hills- we'll know that we're being ambushed," her sarcasm kicked in, her usual defense against... well, everything. "I know. It's hard to believe just how that clever I am."

She didn't understand why this escaped slave was so easily able to provoke her defenses. Fenris had powerful presence, so unlike anything she would imagine in a slave. From his intense voice, to the piercing gaze of his moss-green eyes. Even the way he stood, like a hungry predator ready to pounce at any moment. But instead of eating his prey, he would simply crush their hearts with his bare hands. Hawke almost felt bad for the slave hunters that would inevitably die by his sword... Almost.

"Maybe we should've left her in Kirkwall with her sister then," Fenris frowned, looking at her intensely with those disarming eyes.

He was always like that, except for rare moments when she managed to catch him off guard. It had turned into a kind of game between she and Varric. They would both try their hand at getting that doleful elf to smirk, they had all but given up on making the man smile; or to even get a little chuckle out of him. The victor was rewarded with a round at the Hanged Man, on the other mans silver.

"I suppose you're right," Hawke sighed. She stood solemnly, staring at her feet as she headed towards where the others were sleeping. "Why don't I go wake up Anders. I'm sure he and Justice would absolutely love to stay up and keep wa-"

"NO!" Fenris nearly shouted as he shot up onto his feet.

This time they both flinched as they looked over to their sleeping companions. Anders grumbled as he flopped over onto his side. While Varric continued his quiet, rhythmic snoring as he clutched to his crossbow, Bianca, like it was a teddy bear.

Fenris turned back, glaring at Hawke. She stared back at him, with one raised eyebrow before she burst. Letting out a small snort of laughter.

She couldn't help it. She beamed wildly as she watched Fenris irritably adjusting his armor before returning to his seat. Hawke continued watching him, as she began to walk the perimeter of their makeshift camp. Fenris sat there shaking his head and eying her suspiciously, when she caught the sight of the tiniest grin spreading at the corners of his lips.

_Too bad._ Hawke thought, feeling even more pleased with herself._ Varric would have owed me a drink, had he been awake to see that._ The expression on Fenris' face only lasted a few seconds, but was well worth her prodding. It had been sweet in a way... Cute even. Not that she would ever tell him that. Or anyone, for that matter.

After briefly double checking all of their defensive runes, Hawke wandered back to her boulder. She stretched out her arms above her head groaning as she felt a pleasant pop in her back before she sat back down.

"Tell me-"

Hawke looked up to see Fenris staring back at her. All of the previous fierceness had left his expression and was replaced with something softer. _Concern, maybe?_ Hawke thought. He was leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he fixed her with a curious gaze.

"-Why do you need this expedition? If it was up to me, I would have abandoned it and pursued something that didn't put me in the path of a possessed mage," he wondered aloud, watching her face carefully.

_Ah- yes._

The only time Fernis seemed especially chatty was when he felt the need the express his severe disapproval of hers or anyone's involvement with mages. He had his reasons, and they were perfectly justifiable in her eyes. She more often than not found that she was uncomfortable with the amount of power mages held at their fingertips. But her father had been a mage, a good one. And Bethany was too- magic was in her blood whether she liked it or not. Leaving her essentially in neutral territory. This stance however, was becoming increasingly harder to maintain. She knew that one day she would have to choose a side.

Unfortunately for Fenris- today, was not that day.

"I suppose I could have found something far less adventurous to invest in," she said wistfully, "But who would want to? I do love a bit of danger. Did you know that's my middle name? Marian Danger-"

"Hawke," Fenris cut her off mid ramble. He stared at her blank faced, though obviously exasperated and waiting for a serious response to his query.

"Ugh, Sorry- I just..." Hawke released a short, breathy laugh before shaking her head and falling silent for a moment. "Alright," she said taking a deep breath. She had always found it difficult to talk about herself with any kind of gravity. "Honestly Fenris... If I only had myself to worry about... I- I didn't have much choice. My mother lives in a hovel with my miser of an uncle, and Bethany... I don't know. I worry for her and I know my mother couldn't bear losing her to the Templars. Perhaps this will sound silly to you, but in the end... I'm doing this so I can buy a better life for them. One they deserve. Mother hasn't been the same since-" she froze.

_Why did I have bring that part up?_ Staring at her feet, she shifted trying desperately to keep the pain she felt at bay.

"Since?"

"Since we came to Kirkwall," Hawke said quickly, a smirk turning her lips. She silently chided herself for getting that far into it and hoped that he would not press the matter.

"I don't think your reasons are silly," Fenris said finally, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. "If you're telling the truth, that is."

"And you think I'd lie to you?" she asked, relief washing over her.

"I could see you being a liar, yes," he replied, his lips curling slyly.

Hawke laughed. "I'm a decent liar," she said. "Though, I choose not to."

"Isn't that a lie?"

"Maybe," she hedged. She watched him speculatively.

The firelight was playing off Fenris' sharp features and lyrium tattoos in the must hypnotic way. Though his appearance was a far cry from normal, he was... handsome. There was no arguing that. And even with her reservations, his intense hatred for mages was off putting at best- she still found herself... liking him.

"I like you, Fenris. I hope that inspite of my willingness to work with bloodthirsty mages, that you might continue to tag along." Hawke smiled, subtlety had never been her strong suit.

She had expected- well, hoped really, that the boldness of her claim would somehow throw him off balance. But there only appeared to be a brief moment of wide eyed shock, followed swiftly by Fenris clearing his throat.

He took in a breath, visibly making some sort of decision. "For now. You appear so eager to trust; it would benefit you to have someone around who knows how to deal with these abominations."

"And I'm to understand that would be you, correct?"

Fenris' eyes locked onto hers, his gaze unwavering as he nodded once. "Correct."

"Excellent", she said clapping her hands lightly with delight, "Then we have a de-," She paused abruptly.

He was still listening intently, but no longer to her. The way Fenris' long elven ears had twitched, and face had snapped into alertness, didn't seem to be a promising sign of things to come. He raised his hand, urging her to listen.

Hawke immediately crouched down and with a quick flip, unsheathed both of her daggers. Closing her eyes, she steadied her breathing and focused on nothing but her surroundings. Her eyes popped open when she heard it. The faint sound of stones being ground together. It put her teeth on edge.

It seemed to be coming from the tunnel which was now their only way out, thanks to Bartrand. Hawke felt her breath hitch and her stomach lurch. That did NOT sound like Darkspawn. Though she was not in any hurry to invite Darkspawn for tea, she at least knew what to expect from them. But whatever was making that horrible racket...

"Maybe it's a **_really_** big rat," Hawke suggested. Whatever the blight it was, it was getting closer. "Oh- I hate rats" she moaned.

"Keep watch," Fenris growled. She didn't have time to respond, he was already on the move.

Hawke took position directly in front of the tunnels entrance while behind her, she overheard a good, loud thump.

Anders began coughing violently and gasping for breath. Fenris had decided a swift kick would do, for waking up his favorite mage. She had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing.

Anders rose scowling and clutching his stomach, "What is your blighted prob-" He broke off mid protest. "Hawke? Wha- what is that?"

She had to give credit where credit was due. Anders recovered quickly. In the blink of an eye, he was by her side his staff at the ready. _I'll have to remember to ask him how he did that,_ she thought as she gazed at him quizzically.

"Andraste's ass! What elf?!" Varric growled, as he jolted into a seated position.

Fenris was knelt beside him and thrust Bianca into the bewildered dwarf's hands.

Varric stood himself up, mumbling curses under his breath and then immediately fell silent. The color draining from his face as he too heard the increasingly louder sound of crumbling stone. "That... can't be good."

An explosion of bright red light suddenly shot from the tunnel, accompanied by the terrible shrieking sound. Whatever was happening, Hawke couldn't move. She felt as though her very life was being sucked away, leaving only a shell, helplessly stumbling in the quiet and empty void.

Someone pushed her, and the world flooded back in, full of shouts and blinding flashes of light.

"Get down, Hawke, you're not a dwarf!" Varric had grabbed her by the arm and pulled her behind a boulder.

She shook her head, trying to catch her bearings. Instinct kicked in and she crouched down before raising her head just high enough to peer over the boulder.

The creature was looming in the entrance. It appeared to be made of stone... Mostly. She was having trouble making it all out. It was smashing it's limbs into the ground as Fenris darted in and out, looking for his opening. Occasionally smashing his greatsword against its horrifying mass.

"My magic will destroy you!" Anders shouted from behind them. He was now casting spell after spell, over their heads.

"How do you kill stone?" Hawke shouted at Varric, trying to out voice the creature's shrieks.

"How should I know?" Varric shouted back while keeping Bianca busy.

"You're a dwarf!"

"Really? When did you figure that out?"

Hawke squinted, trying to make out more of the creatures form throughout the chaos that had erupted. It wasn't only stone, there was some semblance of a glowing red skeleton holding it together, but neither Varric's arrows, nor Fenris' sword aimed at it seemed to do any harm to the creature. Anders' magic seemed to give it slight pause… but it was still striking back and hard.

"What are you doing sticking out like that? It's not called cover for nothing, you know!" Varric planted the palm of his hand on the top of Hawkes head as he pushed her down again. Just in time to avoid another burst of red light. But not before she saw it, a red eye open in what could be the creature's solar plexus.

"I need you to cover me," she pulled out her daggers and closed her eyes, trying to remember the creature's exact position.

"What?! Are you crazy?"

"There is a pretty good chance! Yeah!"

Without another word she leapt up on top of the boulder. Quickly taking aim, she wound back and hurled her blade as hard as she could. It was like moving through water. Water that was solidifying by the second. She heard a long bloodcurdling shriek, and then everything suddenly went black.

When she came to, it was blissfully quiet. Her body ached and her head throbbed. Through the lids of her eyes there was a glowing light hovering over her, causing some of the pain she was feeling in her left bicep to dissipate.

"Where am I?" Hawke asked without opening her eyes.

"Why, in Viscount's castle, of course. Or, should I say, your castle. Remember? You bought it with all the fabulous riches we brought back from the Deep Roads," Varric said wryly. Though she could tell by the tone of his voice that he was smiling.

_What would I do without my trusty dwarf?_ She thought, amused.

"How are ya feelin, Hawke?"

"Well, this bed is a little too hard for my taste. And cold," she slowly opened her eyes. Three worried faces loomed over her. "And you three look awful. What happened? What was that thing?"

"You killed it," Fenris said simply. Though his eyes were locked on hers, wide and questioning.

"But not before it managed to suck the life out of me, huh?" She asked as she tried sitting up.

It was made easier, due to the fact that Anders was knelt beside her. He gently placed one hand on her lower back and the other on top of her shoulder, steadying her as she slowly rose. When she was finally fully upright, he kept one hand on her back, while taking her hand in his other. Hawke could feel him watching her carefully. She stared at their hands, intertwined as they were before raising her head to meet his gaze.

Anders tenderness surprised her. She smiled meekly and squeezed his hand with gratitude. He positively beamed at her.

"Nah, it just burst and hit ya in the head with a boulder or two," the dwarf pointed at Fenris. "The elf got that 'life draining' deal, though."

"I'm fine," Fenris retorted, now glaring daggers at Anders.

"You should really let me take a look at you," Anders said looking right back at him, unphased. He was evidently becoming accustomed to Fenris' hostility.

"I need nothing from you, Mage," Fenris spat.

"Come, come now children", Varric said heartily, as he swung Bianca back onto his shoulder. "We have a long way to go yet, and if we hurry there is a chance we just might stumble over Bartrands corpse." He turned away from them and started making his way towards the tunnels entrance.

"Here, let me help you," Anders said, still holding onto Hawkes hand. He gently pulled her onto her feet. "How do you feel?"

"GREAT! My head is about to explode and I am not sure if my legs work," she said smiling dolefully, "So naturally I am in the perfect condition to start walking for days on end."

"Do you need me to carry?" Anders asked, and before Hawke even had a chance to respond he was briskly pulling the hand he still held over his shoulders and bent his knees as he reached down to swoop up her legs.

"No, no! I'm fine," Hawke quickly pulled her hand free and then grasped the side of his shoulder to keep herself from falling over. "Thank you, Anders. I just... need a minute to get myself pulled together is all," she breathed.

"You stay here, I have a tonic in my pouch that will help with the headache and I will see what I can do about that nasty gash on your arm," and with that he was off. Mumbling to himself as he went.

Once out of sight Hawke quickly looked down at her left side to see that it was covered in blood, and there was indeed a rather nasty looking wound there.

"Perfect," she said through gritted teeth.

Sighing deeply, she straightened her leather tunic and took a step forward. She was only inches away from planting her face into the ground, when she felt someone grabbing her by the elbow, pulling her back up, and wrapping her arm around their shoulders.

"Really, Anders. I'll be fine. You don't need to carry me," Hawke said, her voice muffled by her free hand, that was now covering her face.

"You said you did not need to be carried... so, I will not carry you."

Hawkes head snapped up to find Fenris' green eyes staring back at her. His face was so close to hers that his stark white hair brushed her cheek. Not taking his eyes off hers, he held her hand against his chest plate, as he leaned down putting his opposing shoulder firmly under her arm. Allowing her to lean into him, he wrapped his arm around her back, barely resting his other hand on her waist.

If Hawkes knees were not weak before, they certainly were now. The air around them suddenly seemed stiff and it was hard to breathe. She quickly locked her eyes to the ground unable to bring herself to meet his gaze.

"I- ah... Thank you," she mumbled.

He did not respond. He too was now staring at the ground.

"Was it you? Did you push me out of the way when that light hit?" she said, slowly daring to look at him.

Fenris nodded.

"Thank you," Hawke said barely above a whisper.

Fenris slowly raised his eyes to hers, and simply nodded.


	2. A Homecoming & Aggerigio

**AUTHORS NOTES: **Holy Poop! First off, thank you. This really did just start off as a way to get these ideas out of my system, and I am totally stoked that people seem to be enjoying this. (To my reviewers a special thanks, I spent all day today working on my paragraph structure. Can't guarantee that it's perfect, but it definitely should be an improvement.)

Again- I should give a shout out to: **Milena Jace:** for her story** Raven**. I was greatly influenced by that work.

Now, originally my promise was that I would be posting every Friday. That still stands. I was just having too much fun! I will do what can to get you the next chapter by Friday- at the latest, you will have my next installment Saturday. Thank you! I am anxious to hear what you think.

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**CHAPTER 2**

Their return to Kirkwall was not exactly what Hawke had imagined when they first set out on their disastrous expedition. Instead of the triumphant return of the daring heroes- they were returning the hallowed faced, limping-wounded. They were lost for a week. Wandering the Deep Roads with no supplies, and no map. But there were plenty of shades, darkspawn, demons and of course Hawkes new personal favorite: rock wraiths.

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_After Anders patched up Hawke, the four of them had made their way down the dark tunnel. As they stumbled through the blackness, Varric explained the creature that had given Hawke the lovely goose egg, now throbbing on her brow, was called a rock wraith. _

"_But the rock wraiths are only supposed to Dwarven legends" he said with awe, "They're not suppose to be real!"_

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To make things even more interesting, it seemed as though Anders and Fenris' bickering had escalated since their encounter with the wraith. Hawke and Varric ended up spending a lot of their time trying to keep a safe distance. While the elf and mage endlessly baited and prodded one another.

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"_You complain of disliking the Deep Roads a great deal. Why is that?" Fenris snickered._

_Anders rolled his eyes, grumbling irritably, __**"**__Besides the obvious, you mean?"_

"_It's a dangerous place, but less so for a Grey Warden."_

"_Darkspawn this, darkspawn that. Taint, Taint, Taint-taint-taint," he sighed, crossed his eyes and smiled serenely before turning to the elf. "After awhile, you just get so tired of it, you know?"_

"_I do... now," Fenris growled._

_Varric and Hawke both looked on, with crossed arms and bemused grins on their faces. Varric leaned towards Hawke and she responded by leaning down, offering Varric her ear._

_"Ten sovereigns on Blondie," the dwarf whispered hoarsely from the corner of his lips._

_Hawke covered her mouth with her hand in order to muffle a laugh. "You- have seen our Little Black Rain Cloud crushing another mans heart, right? When it is **still** within their chest?"_

"_Come on, Blondie's a Grey Warden and an abomination... Have you ever even heard of a more terrifying combination?" _

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When they finally reached the surface, Hawke released a delirious laugh and threw herself down onto the sand. She had never been so happy to see the Wounded Coast. She continued laughing, resting the palms of her hands on her forehead as the others slowly staggered up beside her.

"Ooooh thank the Maker," she breathed. "Oh sweet, merciful Maker. I swear I'll start going to the Chantry. Like a good girl. Just please- don't ever make me see those blighted Deep Roads again... I'll even start going to confession. I'll tell Sebastian all of my horrible sins, if it would please you".

Fenris chuckled, while Varric and Anders both burst out laughing.

"The only reason you'd do that, is too torture the poor boy," Varric said, wiping away tears of laughter, with his large gloved hands.

"OH!" Hawke laughed, "You have **_no_** idea how much fun that is." She jolted upright and grinned mischievously. Varric offered her his hand and helped her to her feet as she dusted off the sand from her legs.

They all got themselves onto the familiar path and started heading back to the city. With Varric leading the way. "Oh I wonder if Bartand came back to the city. Do you think I'd be that lucky?" He wondered.

Hawke laughed curtly, "Luck hasn't exactly been our strong point this far".

"Thankfully, we didn't come home empty handed," Varric remarked, grinning broadly. "The treasure we found in those tunnels far outstrips Bartands stupid idol. He'll be green with envy when he finds out. As soon as I get the chance I'll look up my contacts to make sure we get the best price. I imagine you'll want to get home to tell your family the good news?" He paused, turning to face Hawke. The dwarf smiled with wicked twinkle in his eyes. "We're going to be rich, Hawke."

As the sunset, they had finally reached Lowtown. They stopped off at Varric's room in the Hanged Man to dump their loot before going their separate ways. Anders to his clinic and Fenris to his stolen mansion, in Hightown. Varric was eager to start shaking any news of Bartrand out of his contacts, and Hawke was only too happy to leave him to it. She wanted nothing more than to return to the dusty attic, she _currently_ called home.

Hawke practically ran out of the Hanged Man. Everything was about to change. She was going to be able to buy back the Amell estate, and give her family a real home. And Bethany. Hawke sighed with deep relief at the very thought. She certainly should be able to keep the Templars off her back now- at least for a little while. But with money comes status, and once they had that...

When she reached the stairs that lead up to their little hovel, she desperately had to fight back the urge to kiss each and everyone of the filthy steps. _Who knew I would ever feel so relieved to see this place._ With an excited laugh, she bolted up the stairs, taking them two at a time and burst through their front door.

"Your valiant hero has retu-" she started, as an attempt at a grand entrance.

It was quiet. She stood in the doorway, confused. True, she no longer had been counting on any parades being held in her honor. But it would have been nice to have her family there waiting. Hawke walked in closing the door behind herself.

"Bethany?! Come on, I have so much to tell you. Ya know what a rock wraith is?"

Silence.

"Mother- start packing. I'm going to buy your house back."

Still nothing.

"Uncle Gamlen?" She finally called out, bewilderment plainly written all over her face.

There was a quiet creaking sound, and Hawke turned just in time to see her mother standing there, wide-eyed. Before she had a chance to say or do anything, Leandra had her arms wrapped around her daughter. Squeezing her as if she were afraid that Hawke might get away, if she let her go.

"Mother I'm fine, really. A thorough scrubbing... Well... We'll probably have to soak me in boiling water for a day or two. Loosen up some of this filth, first... A couple of hot meals, some shut-eye and I'll be as good as new," Hawke said brightly, attempting to pull away. She tried not to wince as her mother's fierce embrace pushed at her bruises. "Mother-" she coughed, "Dearest, I do believe you're cracking my ribs".

Hawke gasped when Leandra finally released her. But kept her hands on Hawkes shoulders as she looked at her gravely.

Hawke's smile and joviality faded, when she actually took in everything she was seeing. Her mother was deathly pale, her hair a mess and her eyes were red and swollen like she had been crying for days on end.

_Well, I am four days late, s_he thought suddenly feeling very guilty. "Mother- I- I'm sorry I'm so late. I didn't mean to worry you. There were some ah... complications-" she paused.

Her mother eyes had seemed to glaze over. Hawke felt panic starting to well up inside her. "Mother?" She shouted as she grasped onto Leandra's shoulders and shook her once.

"Oh, Mari- Marian," she stammered, snapping back into the present. "They took her… They took Bethany... The Templars," Leandra's words, were really sobs and they made Hawke freeze. She instantly forgot how hungry and tired she was.

"I'm sorry? What?" Hawke was unable to string her thoughts together. "You mean Bethany has gone with the Templars to... take a tour of the Gallows? Good thinking, very proacti-"

"Marian! I am serious. Your sister is gone! They have taken her to the Circle," Leandra whaled.

"Mother I- I'm sorry. I don't understand," she looked helplessly at her mother, shock out weighing all her other senses. _Everything was suppose to change. But- not like this... _"She was always so careful... Just like father taught."

"B- Bethany said she had a run-in with some thugs on her way home and had- cast a spell to scare them off," her mother explained between sobs. "And next morning the- the Templars were here…"

Hawke gaped in disbelief. It felt as though the entire room was falling away from her.

Even if they had all the gold in Kirkwall, there was nothing they could do now. She found herself coming up with and debunking a dozen different plans in her head, to break Bethany out of the Gallows. She held her hand to her lips as her mind began to spin wildly.

"Marian," her mother breathed.

Hawke looked up to find her mother's expression changing rapidly from one of grief, to one of rage.

"Where were you?" Leandra hissed. "You should have been here. You could have stopped this."

"What?" Hawke said, shaking her head. "Mother, I-"

"How could you let this happen?" Leandra demanded, crossing her arms and furrowing her brow.

Hawke stood there stunned and slack jawed. There was nothing she could say now that would make things right.

After everything she had been through- and she had gotten there too late. She had been too slow to push Carver out of the way, too slow in returning to a city crawling with Templars, where she had abandoned her baby sister. Why hadn't she brought Bethany with them?

She had failed them. She had failed her father. And now that look on her mothers face... Hawke realized she was clutching her chest with one hand and pulling at her hair with the other. _I've gotta get out of here._

"Andraste! Look at the time- I've gotta go," she said hurriedly as she made for the door.

"Where are you going, now?" Leandra asked crossly.

"I'm suppose to be meeting Varric- at the Hanged Man. He has to talk to me about... things and... such. We're suppose to be doing... something... you know how it is. I'll be back... at... some point."

"Mari-"

"Love you!" Hawke shouted and ran out the door before her mother could say another word.

And she kept running. She ran all the way across Lowtown, and to the docks before she realized where she was. It was after dark now, and there would be no one ferrying anyone to the Gallows again until dawn. Hawke stood in the harbor gasping and shaking as she looked over the dark waters.

Bethany... was gone.

Hawke wandered through the city aimlessly, pausing when she spotted something in the Market she knew Bethany would have loved. It took her passing three rather horrified looking nobles, before she realized that she had not even changed her clothes.

_I must look like I just escaped the blight itself, _she thought simultaneously realizing she had just entered Hightown. _Hightown means more nobles, more nobles means... crap._ She didn't want Aveline and her guard to be called down to the square, to remove the battered and crazed looking Ferelden.

She didn't want to go back to Lowtown- it would only mean she would be forced to deal with her mother's disappoint sooner, rather than later. She could go to Anders. But going to Darktown alone was bad enough, after dark was just suicidal. If she went to the Viscount's Keep, she was sure Aveline would be welcoming... but Aveline would just use logic against her and shame her into going home. Which really only left... Fenris.

Hawke started grinning at the thought. _This could be fun._

By the time she had got to Fenris' front door she was convinced that it was horrible idea. She stood outside his door staring at it. Willing it to send her away.

_Stop being a fool, and knock for Andraste's sake._ Grumbling to herself, she reached out, hovering her clenched hand over the smooth surface of the door. When finally her bad judgement got the better of her and she pounded on the door with the butt of her fist.

There was no sound from within the mansion but suddenly the front door popped opened just a crack, with a tiny sliver of light beaming out. She could just make out Fenris' pointy eared silhouette standing at the ready, his greatsword in his hands.

"Go ahead, cut me in two. Then I'll finally be able to be in two places at once," she waved her hand dismissively. She was smiling but she knew it wasn't convincing. And for once, she didn't care. She was too numb emotionally to bother caring.

The door opened fully to reveal Fenris, standing perfectly straight, brow furrowed and his sword being held limply at his side. He was still in his armor. At least she would feel less awkward about her current state.

"Hawke?" If the elf was surprised, he didn't show it. He just looked confused.

"In case you didn't know... this is the part where you invite me in," Hawke said flashing a toothy smile.

"Oh- y-yes," Fenris said stepping aside.

"Why, thank you," she said with false brightness. "You are too kind." Hawke skipped passed him and into the mansion.

It was pitch dark, except for the warm firelight that could be seen coming from the door at the top of the stairs. Without a word, Fenris started to cross the large foyer, heading towards the light.

"I'll follow you then. Right," Hawke whispered to herself as she hurried behind him.

When they entered the room, Hawke was... surprised. Fenris had this whole place to himself and yet it looked as though he lived solely in this room. There was a long table, two high back chairs, a bench and a bed that was missing a leg, making it tilt violently to one side. She began to think that it couldn't be very comfortable to sleep in, when she noticed the pile of blankets that were thrown over the bench in front of the fireplace. Hawke wonder if maybe he slept on the floor.

The elf walked passed her and into the room. Leaning his sword against the wall by the fireplace before turning back to face her. Fenris looked as though he were just about to say something when Hawke noticed two bottles of wine sitting on the table.

"Are you having a party?" She interrupted with a mocked gasp. "And you didn't invite me? I'm hurt," Hawke sniffed, pretending to wipe away her wounded tears.

Fenris' dark eyebrows raised dramatically as he rolled his eyes and shook his head. Without responding, he walked over to the long wooden table and picked up one of the two dark bottles.

Hawke meandered over to one of the dusty, red high back chairs. She threw herself into the one that sat directly in front of the fireplace. Not caring about the ring of dust that was now settling above her head. Stretching out her legs, she groaned before resting her elbows on the arms of the chair.

"Agreggio Pavali," Fenris said with false grandeur, "There are 6 more of these in the cellar." Staring absently at the bottles label, he wandered over to the fireplace and stood front of Hawke. "Danarius use to have me pour it for his guests. My appearance intimidated them, he said. Which he enjoyed."

"I can't imagine why they'd be put off," Hawke said with a mischievous wink.

Fenris said nothing. He just stared, studying her face with great care. He seemed to be doing that more and more. A new little habit he had picked up while journeying the Deep Roads. It made Hawke feel as though he was seeing straight through all of her defenses. Like he wasn't just looking at her, but... everything that made up who she was.

_Maker, I might as well be sitting here in my small-clothes,_ she thought with a smirk.

"You say what's on your mind, I'll give you that," he stated matter-of-factly before releasing his gaze and taking a swig from the bottle still in his hand.

He then held it out, glaring at it for a moment, he appeared to be considering something. Fenris looked to Hawke, and without warning wound back his arm and hurled the bottle across the room. It made a satisfying smash as it shattered against the wall.

"It's good I can still take pleasure in the small things," he said grinning without a trace of irony.

"You could have offered me a glass first, you know," she pouted her lips mournfully.

"There's more. If you're really interested," he looked around to the other bottle still sitting on the table, grabbed it by it's neck and presented it to Hawke.

"Perish the thought! How else would you redecorate the walls?" Hawke said taking the bottle, testing it's weight in her hand.

To her surprise, Fenris laughed. It was a warm and bright. And for the first time... she saw Fenris genuinely smile. It was more intoxicating than any wine he had to offer. She felt her cheeks burn red.

Clearing her throat, she quickly looked to her lap. Pretending to study the wine bottles label. "Mind if I give you a hand?" Hawke nodded towards the wall.

Fenris looked shocked but recovered quickly and that bitter sweet smile crossed his lips once again. "Be my guest," he said, bowing his head and stepping aside.

Hawke stood up enthusiastically and began searching for her target. When her eyes landed on a rather ugly looking statue. She found that it wasn't difficult to associate it's robed silhouette with a Templar. Her eyes narrowed and a sly smile crossed her lips as she wound back. The bottle exploded, hitting the statue square on the nose.

_That felt great._ Hawke laughed.

Fenris was leaning against the fireplace with his arms crossed. He eyed her work appreciatively, before returning his gaze to hers. And that smile...

_I will chuck wine bottles at these walls until dawn, if it keeps a smile on that mans face._

Hawke proceeded to do a little victory dance and she licked one finger. Placing it to her own hip, she made a sizzling sound. Laughing to herself, she took her seat, meekly smiling as she stared into the fire. While the elf looked on in bewildered amusement.

From the corner of her eyes, she watched Fenris as he situated himself on the rickety wooden bench across from her. They sat for a time in a companionable silence, both content to absently watch the fire as it burned.

Hawke looked up to find Fenris was gazing back at her. His head tilted slightly to the side as he contemplated her. "What happened?"

She stared at him with amazement, though quickly masked her surprise with her best cocky grin. There had been a time when she was a master of hiding her emotions. It had always infuriated her mother and... Bethany.

_Either I am severely out of practice or this elf can read minds._ Hawke could not bring herself to believe that Fenris really could see through her that easily.

"Isn't there a chance I just might show up, out of the blue, to enjoy your gratingly sunny disposition?" Bringing her elbow to rest on the arm of her chair, she propped her chin on her fist and leaned towards him. Smiling broadly.

"Perhaps," Fenris laughed. "Though, that is not the case now," he said, his expression turning grave, still watching her carefully. "I expected that you would be with your family this evening".

Sighing as she slumped back into her chair and returned her gaze to the fire. "Yes- well... as it turns out, I am steadily running out of that," Hawke laughed bitterly.

Fenris said nothing. He just waited.

She shifted uncomfortably, before leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees. Keeping her eyes locked to the flames. "The Templars... they took her," she said nostrils flaring. "They took Bethany."

"I'm… sorry," Fenris mirrored her position. For a moment it seemed as though he might take her hand to comfort her. But he just sat there, looking at her longingly. Restraint written within the depths of his forest green eyes.

"No you're not," she smiled, though it did not reach her eyes. "You thought she was a danger to herself and everyone around her. That she would be better off in the Circle."

"You know my distrust of mages, is not without reason. But Bethany was... Strong... One of the rare exceptions," the elf said slowly as if measuring every word. Suddenly shaking his head, an impish grin passed his lips, "Anders on the other hand..."

Despite herself, Hawke laughed.

_He is actually joking... Someone must notify the Chantry. They would need to add this event to the calendar. _ She stole a glance at his face, and noticed the subtlest hint of rose on his cheeks. He seemed to be having a hard time looking at her. She probably had just imagined it.

_Who are you?_ She wondered as the smile on her face grew until it started to make her own cheeks ache.

Drawing her eyes to the fire again, they briefly fell once more into silence.

Her smile faded as the memory of her mother's disappointment washed over her. "You should have seen my mother's face..." Hawke said, her words sounded distant. Like they weren't really her own. "She blames me. I wasn't here to keep the Templars from taking Bethany away... I couldn't save Carve-"

_For Andraste's sake. _

Placing her hand over her face, Hawke took in a shaky breath. There was enough going on, without her bringing up Carvers death, and Marker knew that Fenris had already heard the story.

But Fenris said nothing. Again. He waited.

* * *

_Before reaching Kirkwall, Varric pulled Hawke aside to apologize again. _

_During one of the rare moments she managed to fall asleep while they were still trapped in the Deep Roads, Anders had been prodding him for information. And since the dwarf was only too happy to spin tales; Varric had told both Anders and Fenris of how she heroically "ripped the arms off an ogre". With all the gory details. Including the part where her brother Carver was killed. He hadn't realized that wasn't exactly common knowledge... well, not until he told them anyway. _

_When she woke up from her brief nap, Anders immediately started giving her his condolences. Insisting that she talk about it. It would make her feel better. _

_Hawke didn't feel better. Not until she spun around and threw one of her daggers at him. It flew through the air with intense speed before pinning Anders wrist to the cavern wall, by the fabric of his robs._

"_Wow..." Anders said in awe, as Hawke gently pulled her drag out from the wall, releasing him. "Your aim is incredible"._

"_No it's not," Hawke responded matter-of-factly, turning away from him. "I was aiming for your hand". _

_Varric started laughing so hard that he fell to the ground. The elf simply stood there- staring at her with an unreadable expression. _

* * *

Now Hawke knew. Fenris had figured out that if she wanted to talk about it- she would talk about it. She could have kissed him for that. Taking in a long, deep breath, she continued

"She thinks it's my fault, Fenris. "

"And what do you think?" He asked earnestly.

"I… I'm just..." Hawke closed her eyes tight for a moment, letting her frustration boil over. "I'm scoundrel!" She laughed harshly, "The only things I'm good at are picking locks, throwing knives and talking my way out of trouble." She quickly rose, turning herself to the fire.

Looking down at her feet, she scolded herself. Swiftly sweeping away the one treacherous tear that had managed to escape. There was nothing she hated more than crying. So as a rule, she did it as little as humanly possible.

"I'm no hero..." she breathed. "I'm not father…"

"Maybe you shouldn't try to be your father then," the elf simply said, his expression soft. He slowly stood and stepped beside her. "You seem to do just fine... being who you are."

Hawke knew with absolute certainty that she was blushing violently. He was the first person she had encountered since coming to Kirkwall, that didn't expect anything from her. This dark, strange, wonderful elf- was perfectly contented with Hawke being... Hawke.

_That's new._ She smiled to herself, when a sudden thought struck her.

"So, do you intend to stay here?" The words had left her mouth before she even realized she was going to say them. She felt the all color drain from her face. "I mean- well..." She was trapped. "You had mentioned wanting to start your life over before... because of the whole Danarius... Ugh... isn't that what you wanted?" She grabbed the side of her leather leggings, in an effort to not slam the palm of her hand into her own forehead.

"Um..." Fenris stared blankly, clearly as shocked as she was at this random turn in conversation. "Yes- but..."

Hawke was inches away from apologizing and running out the door before he had a chance to fade into a lyrium rage and rip her heart out. When to her surprise, he just shifted awkwardly and cleared his throat.

"I- I don't know how," he shrugged. "My first memory is receiving these markings. The lyrium being branded into my flesh. The agony..." Fenris closed his tightly before continuing, "It wiped away everything. Whatever life I had before I became a slave- it's lost".

She stood frozen- stunned by his words. "You- you don't remember who you were?"

"Fenris was the name Danarius bestowed upon me. His, _little wolf,_" He turned away, gritting his teeth. "If I once had another name or a family, then they were taken from me." He suddenly looked embarrassed, as he brushed his long white bangs out of his face. "I shouldn't trouble you this . My problems are not yours."

Hawkes eyebrows furrowed as she let out a breathless laugh. _Please, I've been telling you my sob story all night. _She looked at him quizzically for a moment before she felt herself smiling at him.

"You know," she began cautiously, "I may be able to help you with your problems... or maybe give you a few more." She bit her lower lip when their eyes met.

"Only a few?" He asked smiling broadly with one eyebrow raised.

She felt her heart melt. _That blighted smile. _

"Only the good kind," Hawke promised, grinning mischievously. She couldn't resist adding, "Well... it depends if I really work at it."

"Tempting," Fenris said his expression turning serious. "You're a beautiful woman Hawke, is there no one else that has your... attention?"

"Do you... see anyone else here?" She asked coolly. But she had to fight with all of her strength, to keep a girlish giggle from escaping her lips.

"I'm an escaped slave and an elf- living in a borrowed mansion. None of these things bother you?"

"And I'm a refugee as well as a human- does that not bother you?"

A small smile turned the corners of Fenris' lips, "You have me there," he laughed. Locking his eyes with hers, he stared longing. "You raise an interesting point," he finally said, evenly. "I'll have to-"

Suddenly they both froze. Someone had opened the front door and there was the sound of a group of footsteps, walking hurriedly in their direction. Without hesitation, Hawke flipped out her blades and took her defiance stance. Fenris grabbed his greatsword, and positioned himself in front of her.

"Hey- Elf!" Varric called out as he started up the stairs. "I know you have some serious brooding to catch up on, but you have to…" Varric stopped short upon entering the room, noticing Hawke was standing behind Fenris blades drawn.

Behind him Isabella and Merrill did not have time to react and ended up in a heap on the floor.

The dwarf paid no attention to them and instead looked almost reproachfully at Hawke. "W-what are you doing here, Hawke?"

Hawke laughed, and Fenris relaxed.

Still holding her daggers, she swiped her hair out of her face with the back of her hand. Hawke knew that the only reason Varric would have showed up in a mood, was because her mother had come looking for her. And she had told mother, she would be with Varric.

_Oops. _

Hawke sighed before responding merely, "Why, having a party! So glad you could join us!"

"Right-" Varric grumbled, visibly trying to stay annoyed with her. He never could. Not for long. "Well, that's all well and good, but your mother sent out a search party," the dwarf's thumb pointed back Merrill and Isabella.

They were still fumbling around on the floor behind the dwarf, trying to untangle themselves. At least Merrill was... It looked as though Isabella was intentionally trying to make it harder, and was laughing wickedly.

"A little bit more to the left, Kitten."

"I- I don't understand..." Merrill's long elven ears seem to droop in confusion. "We should have been able to figure this out by... uh... My your legs are long."

Ignoring them as best he could, Varric continued, "You'd better come home and show her you're alright. She threatened Bianca!" He held his crossbow protectively to his chest.

"Oh no! And we can't have that," Hawke said. She crossed over to him before leaning down and kissing Varric firmly on the cheek. "Please tell Bianca, I'm sorry and it won't happen again."

"She forgives you," the dwarf sniffed. "This time." Varric turned and herded the giggling women out of the room.

Hawke knew in theory, that she was exhausted. That she should be ready to crawl home, and fall asleep for a few days. Then she would have to deal with... her current situation. But now the only thing she wanted, was to stay here by the fire...

Before turning to leave, she looked at Fenris and smiled. He was warmly smiling back at her, which was making it difficult for her to breathe. "Thanks for the wine, Fenris" she said with a salute and a goofy grin as she walked backwards, out of the room. "It was truly... exquisite."


	3. The Healer

**AUTHORS NOTES: **Hello again my loves- Sorry for the delay. I am coming to terms with the fact that I have a really hard time keeping things short and sweet. I probably could have had this posted Wednesday but I just kept going, and going... and going. Until I realized this morning: hey, this is probably at LEAST 2 chapters. SO- there should be another post sometime tonight or tomorrow afternoon.

My special shout out this posting goes out to **cellotlix:** and her story** To beFree** Thank you for an awesome story and for the inspiration.

MY REVIEWERS: I heart so hard! I am so excited you are liking this so far. I hope this doesn't disappoint.

**WARNING: To my beloved Fenris fans, who I am among- I am trying to build the suspense now, so in this chapter and the next- Fenris is of course mentioned. But not present. Don't hate. I have already been working on chapter 5 (which has been part of my problem). Have no fears, he will return. **

**ALSO, I am starting to screw around with the timeline. FYI, in case there is any confusion.**

I started this project with little to no expectations... and now you're all stuck with me. I am having way too much fun and I am determined to see this through to the end. Which could take a VERY long time.

* * *

**CHAPTER 3**

Hawke was outside of Anders' clinic leaning against the door frame. Occasionally, while keeping her lower back to the wall, she would twist her upper body around the edge of the frame to peer in. Curiosity outweighing her interest in obeying Anders earlier instructions.

She had arrived just as a panic-stricken looking couple came rushing in, with a young boy dangling in the man's arms. The boy's eyes were closed and his lips were blue.

Anders had blurted out something akin to- "I'M SORRY. NOT RIGHT NOW. WAIT OUTSIDE," and hurried her out the door. That was Hawke's guess as to what he had said anyway. He had said it so loudly and so quickly, it sounded like he had a mouth full of marbles.

The little boy was now lying on a low wooden table. Anders stood over him with a look of deep concentration on his face as he waved his hands over the child. There was a blue, glowing light emitting from the palms of Anders hands. It made a bass like noise that was barely audible but could be felt by everyone within the nearby vicinity.

Suddenly the boy began to writhe and shake violently. The vibrating noise became louder and louder. Hawke threw her hands to her ears. Watching transfixed, the woman was shouting inaudibly, tears streaming down her face and the man stood there helplessly attempting to hold her back.

There was a flash and the air was filled with a heavy silence. The boy gasped, as if taking his very first breath. The couple rushed forward throwing themselves on the child.

Anders knees instantly buckled and he fell limply over onto his side.

"Anders!" Hawke ran into the clinic. Leaping over a bench, and swinging herself around the corner of the table before reaching Anders side.

Kneeling down, Hawke tentatively touched his shoulder as he began to sit up. Groaning with his eyes closed tight, and firmly pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Anders..." Hawke said with genuine concern. She released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "What have I told you about drinking on the job, huh?" Her tone was still sincere, but the expression on her face had drawn into a playful smile.

He laughed mirthlessly. "Oh, you know me," he groaned.

Hawke hooked her arm around his elbow as she pulled him up. Scanning the room, she quickly grabbed the only chair that was in reach and swung it behind him. It was really more of a footstool than a chair. Barely two feet off the ground. It had frightening looking stains splattered all over it's surface.

_Now's not the time to be picky I suppose, _she thought before putting both her hands on Anders' shoulders. Gently pushing him down onto the little stool.

Anders was pale and sweating. He was slowly taking in shaking breathes and exhaling with considerable effort.

Hawke was worried that he was on the verge of passing out when the woman, the boy's mother, she assumed_, _was suddenly on him. She was kneeling on the ground in front of him, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist and her head buried in his chest.

"Thank you," she sobbed, her voice muffled by Anders robes. "Th-thank you, Messere. H-how can we ever repay you?" She hiccupped.

"Please-" Anders pleaded, "Serah. There is no need," he smiled weakly and held onto her shoulders, more to steady himself then to comfort her.

The boy was now being held in the man's arms, leaning his head against his fathers. Exhaustion written all over his small, pale face.

"Go ahead, Serah," Anders gestured to the woman's family, encouraging her to go. "Take your boy home and put him to bed, he will need plenty of rest. And please-" he paused, gazing at the boy. "Remember to chew next time."

The boys parents chuckled with deep relief. Clinging onto one another as they slowly left the clinic.

Hawke stared down to see that Anders was now hunched over with his elbows on his knees. Holding his head in his hands as he continued to breathe heavily. His face was flushed and sweat dripped from his brow.

"Will you be alright?"

For a moment Anders didn't respond. He just sat there, dazed. "Hmmm?"

Hawke knelt down on the ground in front of him as she removed the goatskin water carrier from her pouch. Opening it, she poured a small amount in her hand before gently resting chilled wet fingers on the back of his neck. Anders shivered, exhaling a sigh of contentment.

"Here," she said gently, putting the water skin in his hand. "Drink this." He took it without question and greedily gulped down it's entire contents.

"Thank you," he breathed, handing her back the empty water carrier.

Hawke studied him for a moment before smiling wryly, "I suppose now would not be the best time to ask for your help?"

"That's never stopped you before," Anders laughed irritably as he leaned back stretching his shoulders and neck, tilting his head from side to side.

"Would it help if you gave you my pouty face?" She asked brightly. "I have an excellent pout." Hawke held her hands in her lap, shrugging her shoulders meekly and she began to quiver her bottom lip while simultaneously making her eyes the size of saucers.

"Come now-" Anders smiled at her wearily, groaning as he placed his hands on his knees and slowly rose off the tiny stool, "That's just cheating".

"Phaf! Cheating. Such an ugly word," Hawke said hopping onto her feet.

"What do you need, Hawke?" he grumbled.

She swayed back and forth, attempting to look sweet and innocent. "I was just hoping you would join me on a little adventure to the Wounded Coast," she said merrily, bouncing on her heels. Seeing the scowl that was beginning to form on his face, Hawke flashed him a toothy smile and started batting her eyelashes.

Anders covered his mouth with his hand before turning his head away from her, in attempt to hide his smile. But his poorly muffled laugh had already given him away.

She beamed back at him with a self satisfied smirk.

"How is any man suppose to resist you, when you do things like that?" He asked harshly, but his smile was unwavering.

"You're not," Hawke said simply with a shrug.

The mage looked suddenly uncomfortable and his eye darted down to the floor. Anders cleared his throat, straightening his shoulders as his expression returned to it's scowling position.

"Will _Fenris_ be gracing us with his presence?" Anders crossed his arms, slowly narrowing his eyes as he stared at her.

Hawke had been expecting this. Though, she still didn't like how Anders made his name sound like a dirty word. Especially, since her current feelings towards that blighted elf, were in such a muddled state.

She and the Fenris made a good team. No- that was insufficient. A **_great_** team. And to her growing discomfort, she was beginning to depend on that... On him.

When they were fighting side by side, they were nearly unstoppable. Their methods couldn't be more different but they complemented each other perfectly. He would taunt or cry out, drawing their enemy's attention, bringing them within range of the powerful swings of his greatsword. While Hawke would disappear into the shadows before striking their target from behind. Her twin daggers slicing through the weaknesses in their opponent's armor, with ruthless efficiency. They could anticipate each others moves, and could articulate complicated plans of action through the simplest of gestures.

So naturally, Hawke had every intention of bringing the elf. But...

* * *

_The previous evening Hawke had planned to pay Fenris a visit and ask him in person if he would accompany Varric and herself for a little job just outside the city. _

_However, to Hawke's great annoyance she was unable to get away from her mother and her constant inquiries as to the progress of the renovations to their estate. As dull as Hawke found these conversations to be, her mother's current obsession with drapery and wall fixtures kept her from bringing up the topic of Bethany and her imprisonment. Which was in turn making the time they were spending with one another not altogether unpleasant._

_In the end, the only thing she had time to do was write him a letter. She paid a young messenger (essentially, the most responsible looking man she could find in Lowtown) twenty silver to deliver it. She asked Fenris to meet her early morning, just outside the Alienage. She ended up waiting there for two hours before she finally had given up and started to make her way to Anders' clinic._

_Hawke found herself replaying the conversations they had had, over and over again._

_She was sure that he was interested. The night they had returned to Kirkwall, they had been flirting like mad. He had even told her that she was beautiful... but... that was weeks ago. She had seen him since then of course... but not alone- In fact, now that she was thinking of it, she couldn't recall him saying more than two or three words the past few times they had worked together._

_By the time she stood at the clinics door, she was beginning to think she had dreamed the whole thing. That the wine they had been so kind to share with the walls- was all just some sort of delirious figment of her imagination._

_**Even if that is the case. It wouldn't change anything**__, Hawke had thought._

_That was before she realized a strange ache in the pit of her stomach and the knot in her throat. She still wasn't sure what any of that meant._

* * *

"I believe our little Ray of Sunshine has other plans for the day," she said coolly. "We still have to meet up with Var-"

"Just let me grab my staff," Anders said hurriedly. Suddenly revitalized and moving with great haste.

Hawke smiled at him suspiciously with one eyebrow raised while he gathered his things. She found herself laughing as he jauntily skipped back to her side with a broad grin across his face.

Even though she found his relentless need to push his manifesto on anyone within a twenty-five mile radius of himself to be rather infuriating, he was pretty adorable when he wanted to be.

Anders inhaled deeply, and then sighed with delight "It is a _**beautiful**_ day. Wouldn't you agree?"

His smile became sweet and sincere when turned to look at her. He dipped into a small bow and offered Hawke his arm.

She chuckled before warmly, smiling back and wrapping her arm around his.

Hawke and Anders made their way through Darktown with relative ease, for a change. Only one gang of Carter had attempted to mug them. It had been rather disappointing, really.

Hawke had drawn her blades, and cracked her neck- ready for her warm up. She back flipped once into the shadows, and as she spun back around to stab the closest thug from behind, he was already flat on his back. His legs twitching.

When she looked up, all four Carter were down and Anders was squatting low to the ground, his staff held behind him. The electric currents surging from his arms died down as he stood and swung his staff around onto his back.

_Show off,_ Hawke thought as she watched him quickly readjust his stubby, ponytail. He flashed her a cocky smile before strutting ahead of her.

The tunnels leading to the coast were not much different. A few giant spiders here and there, but that was nothing the two of them couldn't handle.

When they reached the shoreline they could see Varric a short way up the beach. He was standing next to a tree and he appeared to be... talking to it. The dwarf looked deadly serious and was making grand hand gestures.

As they got closer, Hawke could just make out the profile of a curvaceous, dark-haired woman. She wore a blue scarf on her head, gaudy gold jewelry, thigh high boots and barely anything else.

_Oh Isabella._

"I shit you not, Rivaini," Varric said, still talking to Isabella as Hawke and Anders reached his side "it was this big".

"There's no way" Isabella laughed wickedly, waving off his claims. "Impossible! I've had hundreds of those in my hands, and they're never that size."

"Would I lie about something so critical?" He said with a mockingly wounded tone, placing a hand over his chest.

"I can't stand it anymore-" Anders interrupted, looking from Varric to Isabella with mischievous glee. "What are you two talking about?"

"Isn't it obvious? They're talking about knives of course," Hawke said without skipping a beat, before slyly winking at Varric.

"Well, daggers technically," the dwarf corrected, "I never remember the difference. Why?" Crossing his arms, he stood there definitely straight faced. "What did you think we were talking about?"

Isabella and Hawke both snorted laughter as a look of severe disappoint fell over Anders face.

Hawke stared at Anders quizzically, a smile spreading across her face. The two of them had never really spent this much time together. Even when they were in the Deep Roads.

After they first met and she had found out about the whole Justice... thing- she had been pretty harsh on him. Who could blame her? He was technically possessed, after all. Growing up with mages, she knew just how dangerous it was to allow yourself to become a host for any demon or spirit. Anders was a ticking time bomb in her eyes... at least... he had been.

Hawke was suddenly surprised to realize that the renegade mage was growing on her. Smiling at him still, Hawke pinched his forearm.

Anders yelped and attempted to pout, but his amused smile won out the battle.

"You ready to get down to business Hawke? Bianca is starting to get bored," Varric swung his cross bow, Bianca off his shoulder, and began petting her lovingly. A look of confusion suddenly crossed his face and he leaned to one side, as he peered around Hawke. "Where's the elf?"

"Oh- probably off in a dark corner somewhere. Opening a vein and playing the violin," Hawke had meant for this dodge to come off as banter. But even she was surprised by the venom in her tone.

To her relief, Varric and Anders laughed heartily seeming not to notice. While Isabella- stared at her curiously, a sly smile turning the corners of her lips.

"Such a shame," the pirate captain remarked, airly. Not taking her eyes off of Hawke. Isabella seemed to look at her as if she were daring her to make a move.

She only responded by raising an eyebrow and giving Isabella her best: _what the hell are you looking at_, face.

"So what's on the menu? Slavers? Carter? Maybe some Qunari, Tal Vashoth?" Varric asked.

"I'm not sure actually," Hawke shifted, feeling a little embarrassed. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded sheet of crumpled parchment, handing it to the dwarf. "The letter was anonymous, naturally-"

Varric scanned the letter before passing it to Isabella and she passed it to Anders without so much as even looking at it. Anders was the only one that took the time to read the note in it's entirety.

"-and there were vague hints that _innocent lives_ would be at stake. We should be meeting are man just over there, by the caverns," she pointed the way and paused, giving Anders a chance to finish reading.

Anders handed Hawke back the letter and they shared a weary smile. "You know I only love danger when it's under the vaguest of pretenses," Hawke teased.

"You see... she says these things," Isabella said hotly "Yet we found ourselves here," she gestured widely with her arms, looking all around herself "In this exact situation time and again." Crossing her arms, Isabella leaned against the tree, her irritation unmasked.

"Weeeeell, they did pay in advance," Hawke said with a smirk, untying the small leather pouch that hung on her belt and tossing it to Varric. It made the satisfying sound of coin as he caught it mid air. "And promised more gold when the work was done."

Isabella pushed herself off the tree and grabbed the purse from Varrics hand in one fluid motion. "Well, why didn't you say so?" she said smiling brightly. Turning on her heel, she threw the little pouch over her shoulder. Letting it hang there jingling as she sauntered down the beach.

"That's our Isabella," Varric sniffed, wiping away his imaginary tears of pride. "So selfless- always putting others above herself." Swinging Bianca back onto his shoulders, he turned to follow Isabella.

"Or under," Anders said, only loud enough for Hawke to hear.

She snapped her gaze to his, gaping at him.

Anders shrugged, giving her a crooked grin "I get the impression she prefers to be on top."

Hawke snorted as she and Anders set out after their friends.


	4. An Act of Mercy

**AUTHORS NOTES: **As promised, two posts in one night. Oh how I love keeping to my own deadlines!

I can't wait to hear back from you all. I hope you are all still having just as much fun reading this as I am writing it. AND HAVE NO FEAR! Fenris will be back first thing, next chapter!

* * *

**CHAPTER 4  
**

They didn't have to go far. After hiking up the coast line for a mere five minutes the caverns were insight. Along with what appeared to be a Templar standing at the caves entrance.

At her side, Hawke heard Anders as he in took a sharp, hissing breath through his teeth. He jerked back reaching for his staff. Hawke quickly placed a firm hand on his arm, and flashed him a reassuring smile.

"Relax, Anders," she whispered leaning in close to him. "We won't let the bad Templar take you".

His posture relaxed but he continued to glare suspiciously at Templar. As they approached, the knight bowed his head graciously.

"Mistress Hawke," the Templar said. "Arianni tells me you sought a better path than the Circle for her son Feynriel. I thought perhaps you'd be willing to show mages a kindness once more".

As they all came to a stop in front of the cavern, Hawke tilted her head as she curiously examined the Templar. His long red hair and beard, and piercing blue eyes looked vaguely familiar. She had the nagging feeling that they may have met before.

"Do I know you?" Hawke asked coolly.

"I am Ser Thrask, of the Templars," he responded humbly, bowing his head once more "I know from the compassion with which you treated Feynriel that you are someone who cares for the fate of apostate mages."

Ser Thrask stepped aside from the caverns dark entrance, not taking his eyes off Hawke. Pointing into the cave he continued.

"There are a number of apostates hiding in those caver-"

"We are not going to kill apostates for you," Anders interjected with a growl.

Hawke reached out again. This time only holding her hand in front of Anders in effort to hush the flustered mage.

"I-" Ser Thrask looked nervously to Hawke, his eyes darting between her and her visibly armed companions.

Hawke gave him a lopsided smirk, she was in no hurry to comfort the man. Though she could understand why the poor fellow was suddenly taking pause.

"Is there a small chance- you might give the all details before I agree?" She asked still smiling.

"I was hoping you might speak to the group," Thrask said hurriedly, though regaining his confidence with every word. "Convince them to surrender peacefully before my fellow Templars arrive."

"I'm going to assume here," Hawke sighed wearily, rubbing her brow, "That the other Templars do not intend to make nice, when they recapture these mages?"

Ser Thrask shook his head gravely. "Ser Karras is a Knight-Lieutenant of the Templars and a great crony of Meredith. Should he find apostats hiding from pursuit, Meredith will consider him justified in murdering the lot of them."

Hawke threw her companions a sidelong glance. Varric was already cradling Bianca, Isabella was holding her daggers limply in her hands and Anders staff was being held at a downward angle at his side.

Hawke couldn't help it. She beamed at them before turning serious again and looking back to Ser Thrask.

"I would not like to see this become a massacre."

From the corner of her eye, Hawke saw Anders as he turned to look at her. He stared at her with intense gratitude and admiration. She awkwardly fidgeted a little under his intense gaze before he snapped his attention back to Ser Thrask, his stance readying for the fight to come.

"Thank you," Thrask crossed his arms over his chest, going into a deep bow. "Your compassion does you credit."

Ser Thrask stepped aside further as they passed him and entered the dark cavern tunnel. The knight called after them, "Please hurry. If they have not surrendered by the time Ser Karras arrives- this will be a bloodbath."

They carefully walked through damp, dark passage way in silence for a time. As they continued, the cavern seemed to open up into a large chambers with sunlight streaming through the cracks in the stone above them. Vines of greener lined the walls and dead leaves littered the ground.

"Oh Hawke," Varric side wistfully as he walked up along side her. "Why don't you take me anyplace nice anymore?"

Hawke laughed, looking down at the dwarf as she briefly rested a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, my love. I'll make it up to you."

"Empty promises," he sighed again, staring at the abandoned bedrolls and fire pits that were scattered all around of them. "Do ya thin-"

Hawke abruptly lifted a hand to her lips, urging for silence. She lightly stepped forward and spun her daggers from their sheaths before crouching low to the ground. Closing her eyes, she strained her ears.

This time they all heard it. Someone was screaming.

Hawke swiftly ran ahead and into the shadows, and the others quickly followed after her. When they entered the next chamber, a young man, a boy really; with caramel skin and purple robes was huddled in the corner.

Heading towards the boy, were walking corpse.

"Wonderful," Hawke moaned. "I was just thinking we hadn't seen any blood magic recently."

"Good!" Isabella laughed with excited glee. "I was just getting bored!" She smashed a miasmic flask to ground and with a puff of black smoke, they were off.

Hawke and Isabella tumbled in and out of range. An elegant dance of flashing blades and cartwheels as they took down one enemy after another.

While Anders and Varric stood on the outer edges of the fight. Varric plucking off the stragglers with his arrows and Anders taking down anything that got too close to Hawke or Isabella, with bursts of fire.

"There's a lesson to be learned," Varric announced when all was said and done. Coolly straightening his coat. "Messing with us is suicidal."

Hawke slid her daggers back onto her belt and began to walk over to the boy still huddled in the corner, trembling with terror.

Anders ran up alongside her, grabbing her arm and turning her to face him.

"Maker," he breathed, looking truly petrified. "They've raised the bloody dead. Hawke, they must be truly desperate." Anders looked lost and like he might throw-up.

Hawke placed her hand on the crock of Anders neck, she breathed in deeply, raising her other hand and exhaled lowering it.

"Breathe- I'll do what I can, Anders. I promise," Hawke whispered, before turning back to the boy.

"Makers Blessing!" The boy said, eyes wide and still trembling as Hawke offered him her hand. Taking it he rose quickly to his feet. "I thought I was going to die down here in this- this tomb."

"What is your name," Hawke said in a soothing tone.

"Alain," he said with urgency, his eyes fixing on Hawke. "Please- Are you with the Templars? I need to go back to the Circle. Please. I never wanted to be involved in this. Not when he started making those-" Alain broke off as he looked to the twice dead corpses. "Those things."

"Who's he?" Varric interjected.

"Decimus," Alain responded quickly, "it was his decision. He kept saying the templars would label us blood mages if we fled, why not use it if it's our best tool... and then he- he slit his wrists and-"

"You know," Isabella interrupted, her expression proving her mind was elsewhere. "With a name like Decimus, I bet you that sod has got himself one **_amazing_** sinister laugh. You know? Something like Maw-ha-ha-ha".

They all turned, including Alain, staring at Isabella blank faced.

"What?" she pouted irritably, "You're all thinking it. I'm just the only one willing to say it out loud."

Anders bent his head down and began aggressively rubbing his brow with one hand. "Maker, save us," he mumbled.

Hawke turned back to Alain and with an embarrassed chuckle, nodded. Encouraging him to continue.

Alain blinked with a dumbfounded expression. "Well- H-He's crazy," he said with an eery sidelong look to Isabella. "He said with our phylacteries gone that- that we would be free."

Alain's shoulders sank and he looked helplessly at his own feet. The cavern fell into silence.

Hawke smiled wryly and sighed "Someone starts raising the undead and it's all downhill from there." She stepped forward and placed a hand on Alain's back pushing him towards the exit. "Ser Thrask waits outside. You'll be safe there."

Alain apparently had been waiting for the invitation, he flashed a quick smile to Hawke and bolted out without another word.

"Well, why don't we go and crash this party," Hawke said mirthlessly as she made her way further into the cave, the others following close behind.

It didn't take much longer for them to stumble upon the rest of the mages. When they found them- they were all huddled around a pale and haggard mage, his staff raised high above his head as he performed some sort of ritual.

He spotted them as soon as they had walked through the chambers entrance. He's eyes turning wild, he lowered his staff.

"They're here!" the mage screamed "The Templars have come to take us back to the Circle!"

"Decimus! No!" a woman yelled desperately, coming up from behind the mage. Her dark hair was tied back in a long braid and she was clothed in pink robes. "Stay your hand! These are no Templars."

"What do I care what shield they carry," Decimus cried with deranged laughter. "If they challenge us- the dead themselves will meet the call!"

The crazed blood mage pulled out a knife from within his robes and slit his forearm again and again. As the blood hit the ground at his feet, more corpse began to crawl their way out of the ground and stumble on to their rotting feet.

"Ugh," Hawke grumbled. "Again? Really?"

This time, Anders ran in front of Hawke, spreading his arms out in front of her like a shield. "Don't you dare!" he cried and with a slash of his staff, a wall of rigid ice flew up in front of them.

"We're under attack," Hawke breathed, with a smile "What a surprise."

Flipping her daggers out, she grinned mischievously and winked at Anders. Without speaking, Hawke mouthed the words "thank you" before spinning around into the shadows once more.

Isabella and Hawke were at it again- lashing out with lightening speed at mages and corpses alike. Arrows and spells whizzing around them as they fought tirelessly.

The battle didn't end until Anders had cast a spell on Decimus freezing him where he stood and Hawke spun around in front of him, slicing his neck almost clean through. As his body crumpled to the ground, the woman that had tried to stop Decimus ran forward.

"You-" she stammered "You killed them."

The woman fell onto her knees in front of the deranged mage's corpse and held her face in her hand. "Oh Decimus, you should have listened to me... love" she sobbed, and rose her head now glaring at Anders. "You- you are one of us. How is it you side against your own."

"Maybe your lover," Anders spat, "Should have started with "hello". We're Friendlier than you think."

The woman's eyes glazed over as she sat there, staring into the distance. "Decimus gave us the courage to face the Templars. Without him- we would be prisoners still."

"If he taught you any of that blood magic," Hawke snarled, "You could have him up and walking in no time."

"I warned him," she whispered, desperation filling her eyes, "Please- we- we only want our freedom. Without your help, the Templars will execute us all for Decimus' crimes." The woman was standing now and moving towards Hawke.

Varric stepped in her path raising a hand. It was a warning. Hawke smiled. She had good friends.

Taking in a slow and deliberate breath Hawke stared at the handful of mages left standing around her. They all looked tired, and scared. An image of Bethany in the Gallows flashed in her mind, and she shook her head before locking eyes with the woman in pink.

"Just what is it you want me to do?" Hawke asked coolly.

"We must throw off pursuit. There is a Templar who followed us. You must have met him when you entered," the woman began coming towards her again, a murderous expression over taking her features. "Kill him and we can get clear of Kirkwall before the other templars send more men."

_That Templar just sent me in here to save your life_, Hawke thought, her face contorted with disgust.

"Better the death of one Templar than so many innocents."

Hawke turned slowly to see Anders standing by her nodding in agreement with the woman in front of them. She knew that Anders distaste for Templars ran deep. It did in any mage. She still found it hard to swallow that he would be so willing to see one of the few good Templars dead.

"No." Hawke said simply but firmly.

"Will you not buy us time to flee Kirkwall? Would you see us dead?" asked the woman, near hysterics.

Anders gaped at her but Hawke smiled stepping towards him, and leaned in. Their bodies nearly touching as whispered softly in his ear.

"Do you trust me?"

He took in a sharp breath, and nodded curtly. Hawke saw his body tremor slightly as she stepped away from him, her eyes fixed on his. A crooked, mischievous smile crossed her lips.

"Good," Hawke said aloud.

She looked over to Varric to see that he was staring back at her with the same smile. Rolling his shoulders and intertwining his fingers before folding them inside out, making loud crack that echoed in chamber. Isabella stood behind the dwarf, with one hand on her hip as the contagious grin touched her lips as well.

Hawke nodded.

Looking over to the mage in pink, Hawke crossed her arms and leaned back on one leg.

"Leave it to me." Hawke nodded her head towards Varric and Isabella, "By the time we're done, your Templars will swear the sky is green."

The woman stared back at her with a mix between awe and horror.

"Your confidence-" the mage said, watching Hawke carefully, "Almost makes me believe."

"Than stand back, my dear lady," Varric said grandly, dipping into a short bow with one hand behind his back and offering Hawke his other.

Hawke took it happily, and allowed the dwarf to lead her as they headed for the exit, with Anders and Isabella following behind.

"And watch the masters work," Varric finished with malicious glee.

Getting out of the caverns proved to be more challenging than getting in. They kept running into the the remainder of Decimus' undead friends. Little bouts broke out their entire way back as they fended them off.

When they finally reached the entrance to the cavern, Hawke held up a hand to hold her companions in place. Ser Karras had apparently arrived. She put her back against the cavern wall and leaned as close as she dared to listen in.

"Are you trying to tell me," the Knight-Lieutenant growled, "This boy is all that's left of the apostates?"

"I- I ran away when they began to use blood magic Ser," Alain stood there with dread written all over his face.

_Poor boy jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire_, Hawke thought as she looked on. Waiting for the perfect moment.

"They are not in the caverns, Ser Karras," Ser Thrask almost pleaded, "I have thoroughly explor-"

"Ser Thrask!" Hawke said jovially stepping out from the shadows. "I'm surprised you didn't mention that I would be here," she added in a wounded tone as she reached them.

"And who are you?" Ser Karras asked irritably.

Poor Ser Thrask looked like he might faint and Hawke heard someone elbowing Isabella as she snorted back laughter.

"Why this is Ser Hawke," Varric added helpfully, "Knight-Lieutenant of the order in Fereldern, she is here at the Knight-Commander's personal invitation."

Hawke puffed out her chest with pride as Varric spoke and meet Ser Karras quizzical gaze without flinching.

"Uh-" Ser Thrask looked utterly astonished, "Yes. Yes, I was just about to tell him." He nodded before bowing in respect to the mighty Knight-Lieutenant Hawke.

"We've completed our investigation in these caverns, Ser Thrask," Hawke said with authority as she stood board straight and held her hands behind her back.

"Yes," Varric side solemnly, "There is no one left inside."

"One of the cowards slipped out the back. You should go after him," Isabella added brightly.

"Ah- yes," Varric grumbled. The dwarf, stomped his foot down hard on Isabella's. She bit her lip and limped back, still smiling broadly with amusement.

"Their leader fled the battlefield ahead of us. Bloody coward left his own people to die," Varric continued as he shook his head gravely. "I caught only a glimpse, but it looked like the back passages led to the coast."

"Yes- that's right," Hawke said, still keeping her authoritative tone. "We sent your men that way. You can still catch up, if you go around the caverns. That's the faster route."

"The coast you say?" Ser Karras asked, pleased, "Men fan out, search the shore. We will retrieve these corpses later." Karras step forward and bowed to Hawke. "I will command you to the Knight-Commander, Ser Hawke."

With that Ser Karras set off after his men, with Alain following slowly behind. Thrask stepped forward and bowed deeply to them all.

"Thank you, my friends," he said gratefully, before turning to head to the shore with the others.

Hawke rose an eyebrow, as she looked back at her friends from the corner of her eye. Isabella started laughing uncontrollably.

"Varric- YOU- ARE- AMAZING!" Isabella said through her tears of laughter.

"No thanks to you," Hawke laughed, as she felt herself relax.

Varric stood glaring at Isabella, with his arms crossed.

"What?" Isabella asked, mocking nativity. "I love to give you a challenge, big man. You handled it beautifully!"

They were all laughing now. Even Varric, though he did spank Isabella solidly on her backside, causing her to jolt forward. Which made them all laugh even harder.

"Come on," Anders said finally, "Let's get out of here before those friendly Templars come back, shall we?"

They all made their way together back to through the passages leading to Darktown. When they were back in Kirkwall, Varric and Isabella's made their farewells and immediately started bickering over who would tell the story first when they got back to the Hanged Man.

Hawke had decided to walk Anders back to his clinic, before heading back to Lowtown herself. As they did, they continued to joke and banter. Upon reaching the clinic they ended up standing outside it's front door talking, basking in the late afternoon sun, that barely made it's through the grimy walls of Darktown. They eventually stood there, both leaning against the wall in a companionable silence.

"You know," Anders finally said "I had a friend like you once. Got in all kinds of trouble, dragged me along. I didn't think I'd be doing that again," Anders laughed, turning to face her. He raised a quizzical eyebrow as he looked at her.

Hawke didn't respond. She just stood there awkwardly. The entire way back, she had been trying to figure out how to do this, and now that they were here- she felt herself losing her nerve.

"Sooo, I wanted to um-" Hawke looked down at her feet and cleared her throat, "I feel like I owe you an apology."

Anders flinched with surprise and confusion, as he stared at her.

"I- well... I was, perhaps... after Karl, when you told me about Justice. I may have been just the tiniest bit... rude?"

"Ah-yes. What was it you said?" Anders said with a malicious smile, leaning back on one leg and holding his chin with one hand. "I just need you for your expertise, not a diatribe on your strange personal habits," his tone was light and mocking, but the pain behind his smile was as plain as day.

"Is ah... that what I said?" Hawke placed a hand on the back of her neck before running it up through her short dark hair and roughly tousling it.

"Yes- well... you're story was a little... unnerving," she smiled and corked an eyebrow as she noticed Anders feet shuffle with discomfort. "But- I handled myself poorly".

Finally looking up to meet his gaze, she smiled at him reassuringly.

"You were just trying to do right by your friend and that's... amiable. And I can't say I would have done any differently if I had been in your place".

Anders expression had become soft, his eyes searching hers. He returned her smile, his shoulders seeming to rise and fall more noticeably with every breathe.

"We can't always predict the outcome of our actions. You can only make them with a true heart... My father use to say that." Hawke finished with a sad smile. Tilting her head to one side, she shrugged.

"Kind, wise and beautiful," he exhaled, and laughed nervously. "You must have made a deal with some demons yourself."

This time, it was Hawkes turn to flinch. She was no fool, she had been getting the since all day, that there was a pretty good chance- Anders fancied her. But for some reason, him coming out and saying something like that still surprised her.

"Forgive me. I shouldn't presume. I- just-" he faltered, "I hardly know you and yet I feel as though we have been friends for ages... Am I- making you uncomfortable?"

Honestly, Hawke wasn't sure. She gaped at him unable to speak as her mind spun.

Besides the aforementioned, involuntary third party, Justice... what wasn't there to like? Anders scruffy face and untidy blond hair gave him a very pleasing rugged look and he was so agonizingly sweet.

And Fenris'... Hawke had no idea where she really stood with him. There were times when she was certain of his affections. His large green eyes had been tender and warm when they had been alone by the fire, and there had been moments then she felt his longing as her own. But there had been not so much as a clue since. He had been present, yes, but somehow distant.

She knew in her gut, if she was given the choice: without a doubt it would be Fenris. There was no one in current or distant memory that she could recall making her feel the way Fenris did. He made her feel... seen.

Still. She also felt somehow that it would be unfair to herself and Anders to completely deny the possibility. Especially with things in the air as they were. Besides, Hawke could see herself enjoying running her hands across those stubbled cheeks and through Anders hair.

Currently- she wasn't bound to anyone.

"Eh-" she shrugged finally and stepped towards him grinning, "just keep telling me I'm beautiful. You can't go wrong with that."

"Oh I'm sure I can get more creative," Anders smirked broadly as his cheeks turned a pleasant shade of pink.

A thought suddenly crossed his face, and his expression instantly turned sour. "No I shouldn't do this. I-" Anders turned away from her, bringing a hand to his lips, he began to agitatedly bite at his nails. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Wh- hurt me? What do yo- Why would you hurt me?"

"You saw what I did in the Chantry. That's who I am. A year ago, maybe we could have had something. But I'm not that man anymore. I'll break your heart... and that might kill me as surely as the Templars," he looked back to her, his eyes filled with a desperate longing.

Without another word he took one of Hawkes hand in both of his and brought it to his lips. Holding it there in a deep kiss as he breathed her in. Hawke felt her body tremble as he dropped her hand and dashed off into the clinic and shut the door behind him.

She stood there, eyes crossed with bewilderment. If she wasn't confused before she certainly was now. Her eyebrows furrowed tightly and she rubbed her temples in attempt to relieve the strain.

_Well sod this, _she thought.

Hawke turned on her heel in a huff and before she even fully realized where she was going- she had entered Hightown and was making her way to Fenris' mansion.


	5. Memories Cut Deep

**AUTHORS NOTES: **I know. I'm just as surprised as you are that I am already posting again. What can I say... I'm a little obsessed. Thank you again for your reviews and I hope that you're all still enjoying the ride!

Shout outs for this posting goes to **cellotlix:** for** To be Free** and **Milena Jace:** for ** Raven**.

AND FENRIS IS BACK, BABY!

* * *

**CHAPTER 5**

Once again, Hawke stood at the wooden door of the abandoned mansion. Feeling like a fool- and pleading with the door to force her hand one way or the other.

_This is stupid, _she thought. She should have just gone back to Lowtown. She could have had a few dozen drinks with Varric and then gone home to find out more about what exciting tapestries her mother had picked out...

She grumbled irritably and opened the door.

"Fenris?" she called out cautiously, peeking her head through the crack before stepping in. "It's just me- and I would like to keep my heart where it is, thank you very much".

The mansion looked so much less menacing in the late day twilight. Aside from the debris everywhere of course and the... statue that was shattered into pieces all over the foyer floor.

_Was that there before? _If it had been, Hawke was amazed that she hadn't tripped on any of that the last time she was there. Stumbling through the dark as she followed Fenris up to his room.

She looked up just in time to see the elf peering down at her from the top of the stairs, seeming surprised and curious. A small smile turned at the corner of his lips and she tried to ignore how her heart began to flutter wildly.

Hawke was shocked to realize she could in fact experience both intense joy and dread all at the same time. She desperately wanted to know why he never came to the Alienage, but she also feared what that answer might mean.

"Hey," she said as brightly as she could, making her way towards the stairs. "Where were you? Did you get my note?" She said trying to keep her tone casual.

Fenris' eyebrows furrowed, "W-What note?"

"You- you mean you didn't get it?" Hawke felt a strange weight being lifted and she compulsively sighed with relief. Holding the railing with one hand, she smacked the palm of the other to her forehead, laughing.

"That miserable pile of...that little blighter! I paid him twenty silver to deliver it to you!" She said, now fuming.

The elf suddenly looked guilt stricken. "I'll pay you back," he offered.

"Oh- no need, no need," Hawke laughed at herself waving him off. The relief still washing over her. She felt like such an idiot. She had spent all day convincing herself that he plainly wasn't interested because of that stupid letter.

"I suppose I just like to complain is all," she was smiling broadly now. Reaching Fenris' side atop of the landing, she leaned against the banister crossing both her arms and legs.

"Ah... yes," he said awkwardly, instantly closing his eyes tight as he shook his head. Looking embarrassed as he glared at the floor with his hands clenched into fists at his side.

Fenris had in fact received Hawkes letter. But...

* * *

_The previous evening, Fenris had stood at the top of the stairs looking over the banister as he admired his handy work. Moments before a hideous statue had been standing there. A depiction of a powerful Tevinter magister lording over his disciples. With a grunt of anger, Fenris had shoved the statue over the railing and watched it as it fell and shattered spectacularly on the foyer's stone floor._

_A polite knock sounded on the door downstairs and Fenris froze, his heart pounding. Though he knew a slaver would not knock, he unsheathed his greatsword anyway. One could never be too careful. On light feet, he crept downstairs and opened the door a crack._

_A strange man stood there on the doorstep. Instincts kicking in, Fenris quickly grabbed the man by the scruff of his shirt, pulling him close so their faces were inches apart._

_"Who are you?" he asked in a deadly voice, shaking the man for emphasis._

_The man's face had paled in terror, and his lips trembled violently._

_"Speak!"_

_"P-please, Messere! I have a message for you!"_

_A message? Fenris almost released the hapless man in surprise. "From whom?" He snarled, eyes narrowing in mistrust._

_The man fumbled for his pocket and produced a primly folded piece of paper. "Se-Serah Hawke, Messere! P-please- please let me go! I won't tell no one! P-promise!"_

_Fenris' gaze darted from the note to the man's face. "Yes, you won't. If the Guard come here, I'll know who was to blame." He snatched the letter from the man's shaking hand and let him drop to the ground. The messenger wasted no time; fumbling onto his feet he sprinted away as fast as he could, not once daring to look back._

_Fenris slammed the door behind him and stared at the little piece of paper with growing dismay. Though he knew it was useless, he unfolded the note and stared at it, as if though by force of will he could glean its meaning._

_Slaves in Tevinter were not allowed to read. So he never learned. It was always something he intended to get around to, now that he was free. But there was always something more important, more pressing- he was on the run after all. _

_Without realizing it, he had crumpled the tormenting parchment into a small ball._

_Carefully, he uncurled the note, smoothing it out in his hands. Though he didn't understand the markings on its face, he admired them; the handwriting was blithe and flowing, free and beautiful. Just like... Hawke._

_Admittedly, he had only known her a short while, but he was intrigued by her. She was a marvel in the battlefield, and her wit was sharper than any dagger she carried. And she was... Beautiful. There was no denying that. _

_Hawkes short dark hair framed her delicate, pale face, with her eyes a piercing shade of grey. Those eyes, they made him feel as if she could see straight through him, as if all she had to do was look at him to learn his secrets. _

_He wondered how her hair would feel in his hands. How her skin would feel against his..._

_Fenris cursed to himself. This was dangerous and he knew it. This... fascination he had with Hawke would undoubtedly lead down a treacherous path, and he could not let it go there. He would watch from afar, and that would have to be enough._

_He started to crumple the letter again, but stopped to reconsider. Surely there was no harm in keeping such a thing? It's not as if it's presence would encourage him to let down his guard, and let Hawke in. He repressed a snort. There was very little danger of anything of the sort. As far as he cared, she was a beautiful woman, nothing more._

_Fenris was awake half the night, pacing the floors of his abandoned mansion. He found himself replaying the conversations they had had, over and over again._

_As the night went on, his self assurances that Hawke was nothing more than a pretty face, brought him little comfort. If anything, they left him feeling even worse... probably because he knew that it just wasn't true. Fenris felt his face draw into a deep frown._

_There was a strange ache forming in the pit of his stomach and the knot in his throat. He still wasn't sure what any of that meant._

* * *

"It's a shame, really,"Hawke teased, speaking in a soft voice. "That you didn't get that letter. I always enjoy life-threatening situations so much more when you're there".

Fenris' said nothing, but he rose his head, his gaze slowly meeting hers. A timid smile began to spread itself across Hawke's lips, and she felt her cheeks burn as she began to blush.

"You and I, we," she paused, her courage almost failing her. "We make a good team".

His forest-green eyes were filled with a sudden sweet, sadness as he gave her a small, yet perfect smile.

Fenris sighed bitterly before quickly turning away and trudging into the other room. Hawke stood there, wide eyed. She hesitated before following after him in.

The elf, now standing in front of the fireplace was removing what looked like a worn piece of parchment from the pouch on his belt. As Hawke reached his side, she nearly touched his shoulder in an effort to comfort him but quickly drew her hand away, thinking better of it. Fenris stared daggers at the paper before he shoved it into Hawke's palm. His head swiftly snapping away from her.

She stared at tiny white square in bewilderment. It looked like the type of parchment she had used for the letter she had written him. But the paper she had used was new, it's only creases being from where she, herself had folded it shut. This however, looked as though it had been crumpled and re-crumpled, folded open and closed dozens of times.

Hawke felt her breath hitch as she slowly unfolded it. There were her words, though now the ink was barely legible from all the parchments abuse. Her brow furrowed with confusion as she stared at it.

Hawke wanted to feel angry or hurt or... something. But she was far too flustered to make heads or tails as to what was going on. She had half the mind to just walk out and leave the frustrating elf to fester and brood; when it felt as though he was going to burn a hole through her forehead. She raised her head to meet his staring eyes.

Fenris' had stepped in closer to her, his face was contorted with such a multitude of emotions as he looked at her. His eyes pleading for understanding.

Looking back at him, Hawke suddenly felt as though she had somehow wounded him. Keeping her gaze fixed on his, she took in a deep breath. She held up the limp, crumpled piece paper offering it back to the elf. She waited.

"I-" Fenris started angrily, closing his eyes and taking a breath. "I can't read."

"Wha- you can't?" She asked, shocked.

"No-" He sighed heavily. "Slaves are not permitted to read."

The elf's shoulders sank, and he looked deeply ashamed and cross with himself.

"But-" Hawke turned away from him, her head spinning. Instantly racked with guilt, it had never even occurred to her. Looking back at him, she felt herself fill with a sudden resolve and determination.

"You're not a slave anymore, Fenris," she dared once again to reach out, her hand trembling as she touched his forearm. He didn't recoil, so Hawke stepped forward and locked her eyes on his.

"It's never too late to learn. I could teach you," she offered, brightly.

Fenris looked just as stunned as she had been. He smiled tentatively "You... wouldn't mind?"

"Mind?" She laughed, warmly. "I'd love to. I mean- you want to learn, right?"

"I've always wanted to learn to read," he said earnestly, his eyes shying away from hers as his cheeks tinted red.

"Great," Hawke breathed, beaming as she plopped down on the marble floor. She enthusiastically patted the ground next to her, encouraging Fenris to sit. "Let's get started".

Fenris slowly sat down beside her, while she plucked a piece of old, cool coal from the side of the fireplace and started to draw letters on the floor. She looked up when Fenris stopped her in mid stroke, holding her hand.

"Thank you," he said softly with a nod.

Hawke could not think of anything meaningful to say. So she just smiled at him, her cheeks blazing red and lightly squeezed his hand.

They sat there in front of the fire, late into the night talking, laughing and writing letters on the floor. Hawke never wanted the night to end.

* * *

Hawke sat on a table in Anders clinic, her back slumped against the wall and her head hung limply over to one side. She slowly tried opening one eye and immediately closed it, tightly clenching both. The room was still spinning. She inhaled slowly through her nostrils as she faded back into the memory of that evening, with a faint smile gracing her lips. It felt like only yesterday- it was hard to believe just how fast three years had flown by.

* * *

_A lot had changed in that time. Hawke and her mother had finally moved into their estate in Hightown and were settled in nicely. They were now receiving word from Bethany on a regular basis, which had greatly eased the tension between them. Though Hawke could not escape Leandra's accusing gaze, whenever Bethany's letters hinted at some form of unpleasantness in the Gallows. _

_Shortly after returning from the Deep Roads, Hawke had become a bit of a local celebrity. She was pretty sure it didn't so much have to do with anything she had really done- but more to do with the epic tales that Varric continued to spin at the Hanged Man and any other pub he frequented... which was all of them. _

_Because of this notoriety, Hawke was always swamped in letters requesting her aide and even the Viscount of Kirwall was now summoning her on a regular basis. With her luck, it tended to be Qunari related. Much like it was today..._

* * *

Hawke could have sworn someone was talking to her. It sounded a little like Anders, but it seemed so distant and muffled like he was trying to talk to her through a closed door.

"Hawke!" Anders shouted as he roughly patted her cheeks. "Come on Hawke, you need to stay awake."

She swatted at him ineffectually, like a kitten playing with a ball of yarn. "Urggh," Hawke groaned. She still didn't want to open her eyes. The room just wouldn't stop spinning.

"It would be a lot easier, you know-" Anders grumbled as he undid her bandages. He winced at the sight.

Hawke finally popped open one eye as she smiled absently in the mage's general direction.

Sometime on the way to the clinic, the pain was replaced by a light-headed feeling. Not unlike one she'd get after a pint of whatever passed for ale in the Hanged Man. She felt sleepy and slightly nauseated. She vaguely remembered the long sword of an Invisible Sister, sinking into her shoulder.

"-If I had been there. You wouldn't be in this state," he grimaced as he continued putting pressure of her wound, and rummaged on the table next to him for more cloth.

"What if you had lost your arm?" Anders chided.

"Well...I coould beat-them withit, it-woould defffinately improove my reach," Hawke slurred as she fought to keep consciousness.

She tried to shrug, the mage held her in place. It wasn't all that bad, granted she was covered in about a gallon of her own blood. Hawke felt her chest puff up with pride, knowing that she had essentially managed to keep most of her wits about her.

"I-thoought I was dooing you a favor," Hawke said a little more steadily. The room was slowly beginning to settle and she dared to open both eyes. "You saaid yu needed to spend more time here in the clinic. And look!" She added brightly. "Here you are!"

Anders sighed irritably, as he began to pour a red tonic onto a rag. "This _**will**_ hurt," he warned.

Pressing the potion soaked rag to Hawkes wounded shoulder, she flinched, but did not scream. Her skin made sizzling sound as her flesh began to mend itself back together. It itched and burned.

"Besides," Hawke continued through clenched teeth, "I know how much you just loooove the company I keep." She proceed to nod her head towards the door of the clinic.

Varric and Aveline were standing there bickering with hushed voices, while behind them, leaning against the wall by the door was Fenris. Hawke smiled when their eyes met.

* * *

_Since that night three years ago, Fenris and Hawke spent a lot of time together. They still weren't "together" but Hawke didn't care. At least three or four times a week, they would spend their evenings in front of his fire or in her library reading and just enjoying each others company. And she would not trade that for all the gold in Kirkwall._

_Hawke had decided that night, when he first took her hand- that no matter what happened, that he was worth the effort. She would wait._

* * *

Anders looked to over to where the elf stood and rolled his eyes theatrically and continued to dab potion on Hawkes shoulder.

"What's not to love?" He asked bitterly, "He berates me for being a monstrous abomination, while he viciously rips peoples hearts out of their chests."

Without warning Hawke grabbed Anders hand by his wrist, as it still hovered over her wounded shoulder. Though she was smiling her expression had become frightfully serious as she stared up at him.

The mage quietly gulped as he looked down into her soft, steely grey eyes.

"Anders," Hawke said softly, "I have a handful of people in this world whom I trust implicitly. I count you... among them-"

She slowly loosened her grip on Anders wrist but did not let go, she just continued to look up at him. Quizzically examining his face.

"Please. Do not force my hand against one of my others. It will not end in your favor." This was not a warning or a threat. Hawke was pleading with him. "I'm not asking for you to be friends- I'm not even asking that you like each other. But if could _try... _and be civil."

She took his hand and quickly smacked his palm with a kiss before letting it go. A weary smile settling upon her face. Anders stood there gaping at her in stunned silence before clearing his throat.

"Define- "_try_"," he asked, grinning mischievously.

Hawke slapped him in the side with her free arm and they both laughed.

"Are you always this lucid after losing this much blood?" Anders asked with a corked eyebrow. He eyed the blood that covered her entire right side.

"It's a gift," she said with an airy sigh. Hawkes eyes then shyly darted to the floor. "I've- actually been practicing that little speech for the past two years... Apparently, I should be losing buckets of blood more often- tis **_far_** better than being drunk."

"Please don't," he said smiling wryly at her. Anders playfully tousled her hair with his hand, before gently resting it on her cheek.

"Pfft. Spoilsport," Hawke grinned.

Hawke tilted her head to the side raising an eyebrow as she watched Fenris push off the wall and walk towards them. The elf and mage exchanged brief murderous glances with one another, and Hawke proceeded to shake her head and roll her eyes.

"Play nice," she mumbled.

"How are you?" Fenris asked as he inspected her arm with a frown, shooting Anders another short distrustful glance.

"I'll live," Hawke said as she tentatively rolled her shoulder. Sighing with relief, she gave Anders a grateful smile and the mage responded with satisfied smile of his own.

"So you keep saying," Fenris said with a crooked grin and a chuckle.

Aveline and Varric walked up along side the elf both with tired, worried expressions.

"Guard Captain!" Hawke said with false brightness, "Aren't we looking **_marvelous_** this morning."

"You look like shit," she said simply, with her typical stance. Arms crossed and frowning at her.

Hawke gasped "Aveline! You wound me."

"I think someone else took care of that for her," Varric said mirthlessly.

"Hawke, the Viscount needs you to go see the Arishok sooner rather than later," Aveline said sternly. ""The sooner we deal with the Arishok's demand, the sooner the Qunari will return to dormancy"... And that will keep the blighted seneschal off my back."

"Yes, yes mother. Might as well get on with it then," Hawke grumbled as she headed to slide off the table.

"Are you sure you're well enough?" Fenris asked, eying her carefully.

"Hey- I could take on Arishok down with one hand, if needed!" She hopped off the table and immediately lost balance as her vision faded to black.

Both Anders and Fenris grabbed under each of her arms, supporting her, neither looking too happy about it. Hawke bit her lower lip as they raised her back onto her feet, still holding her in place.

"Perhaps holding the wall with my other hand, might not be a bad idea. And if he stood still. THAT... would be perfect."

Varric chuckled, while Aveline rubbed her brow irritably.

"You've lost a lot of blood, Hawke," Anders said wearily.

"Well, it's a good thing you want to tag along then," Hawke said as she cautiously started walking towards the door. "It probably wouldn't be a bad thing, if there was something you could do about this deathly pale business."

Fenris walked closely behind her, with one hand still bracing her under her arm, and the others followed her out of the clinic. They slowly made their way to the Qunari compound.


	6. Blackpowder & Gascard DuPuis

**AUTHORS NOTES: **Hello again, my lovelies! This one took a little longer, but again, I AM HAVING A BLAST! I hope you all are still too. A lot of this weeks writing was actually spent plotting out where I wanted to take this. There are so many quests I love and I have been having a hard time picking and choosing what should stay and what to leave out. Things should hopefully go a little smoother now that I have a map leading me to my destination.

Special thanks to Musicalrain, your reviews always make me super excited. You seem to really enjoy the sections in which I have had the most fun writing. And that is Awesome! It is really rewarding to know that. Thank you.

To my other reviews and to all my followers, have no fear, I love you too! I can't tell you all how much it means to me that you are out there. I hope you keep reading and that you stay along for the ride.

Stay tuned for more, up and coming **_should be_ **some drunk Fenris and a journey into the fade!

* * *

**CHAPTER 6**

By the time the five of them had reached the Docks, Hawke had regained enough of her senses to notice that people were gawking at her and giving her a rather large birth as she passed. However it wasn't until she absent mindedly started to rub her right shoulder that she put the pieces together.

_I'm covered in blood, aren't I? _

As the Qunari compound came into view Hawkes eyes began to frantically scan from left to right. When she finally spotted the merchant stands.

"Thank the Marker," she breathed, running towards one of the booths.

"Hawke?" Aveline called after her, as Fenris, Varric and Anders came to a stop behind her. "Have you finally gone completely mad?"

Turning back, Hawke gingerly lifted the shoulders of her leather tunic between the tips of her fingers. "Blood just seems to be in such poor taste, this being a diplomatic visit and all," she said grinning mischievously before turning to the wrinkled, old tailor. Hawke quietly began to barter with him, picking up the first reasonable looking garment she could find.

Aveline nodded, grinning with approval as they all watched on. "She has a head on those shoulders after all."

Anders and Varric chuckled, while Fenris merely smirked as he kept a watchful eye on Hawke.

"Ha-ha-ha," Hawke deadpanned as she hurried back over. A black cotton blouse, with white trim and embroidery was now hanging over her arm.

"Great. Now quick, lets find you some place to-" Aveline didn't get the chance to complete her thought. Hawke had handed her new shirt to Varric, and without a seconds hesitation began to carefully peel her stiff oxhide armor over her head.

Hawke stood there in the middle of the street, her short, raven hair standing straight on end and the stained tunic tangled over her forearms. She was now in nothing but a simple chest binding, tan leather leggings and boots, with her daggers and gloves hanging loosely off her belt.

Hawke waggled her eyebrows comically and flashed a toothy sidelong smile at Aveline, before shoving her blood stained clothing into the Guard Captains arms.

"Maker-" Aveline groaned breathlessly, staring up into the sky.

Anders and Fenris both gaped at Hawke slack jawed, eyes wide with surprise and longing.

"This day is only going to go downhill from here," Anders said quietly, with a mystified smile.

Fenris' jaw snapped shut. His previous expression being quickly replaced with a snarl as he poisonously glared at the mage.

"Ya should have warned me, Hawke. These sailors would have paid good coin see this," the dwarf said mournfully, shaking his head. "Have I taught you nothing?"

Hawke laughed brightly as she took the clean shirt back from Varric and began to navigate her hands through it's sleeves. She lifted her arms as she pulled the tunic down over her head, and began adjusting it to her satisfaction.

Staring down at her frilly new garment, Hawke felt herself grimace. She had suddenly realized that this was the first time in four, long years that she had worn anything besides armor in public. Sure, Hawke knew that the leather she'd been wearing hadn't stopped that Sister's blade from biting into her shoulder. But if she had been wearing this piece of worthless fabric, it would have been much worse. She shook her head at the sense of vulnerable unease this tenuous bit of cotton brought her.

Hawke looked up to find her companions all staring back at her with varying degrees of amusement and annoyance. Batting her eyelashes, Hawke smiled with mock shyness.

"Are you quite finished?" Aveline growled.

"Who me?" asked Hawke, nonchalantly. "Oh- I thought we were waiting for you..."

Aveline's eyes narrowed with bored, disdain and she sighed heavily.

"Well, no time to waste," Hawke responded merrily with a shrug. She started walking briskly over to the gates of the Qunari settlement.

Varric and Anders laughed as they followed quickly behind her. And Aveline walked after them, heavy footed and grumbling the entire way.

Fenris stayed in place, lost in thought as he watched Hawke boldly approach the half naked, Qunari that was guarding the gates. He felt the corners of his lips twitch into a small smile. Shaking his head, he slowly followed after her.

"I kind of like the Qunari," said the dwarf staring up the gates with a thoughtful expression. "You always know what they want: Absolutely nothing."

"You would think they would be easier to please, then," Hawke said pouting with furrowed eyebrows.

The Qunari guard said nothing to this and did not so much as flinch, while his cold eyes stared menacingly down at Hawke. She stood her ground, straightening her posture and widening her stance as she glared right back up at the horned, mass of muscle.

Anders, Aveline and Varric all watched carefully and held their arms loosely at their sides. Just in case they were needed to swiftly reach for their weapons. The elf inched in closer to Hawke, mimicking her posture and moving his eyes deliberately as he counted the number of Qunari that were within sight.

The guard's eyes finally shifted to one of the other Qunari already inside and with a barely noticeable nod of his head, signaled for them to open the gates.

"You are allowed, Basra," snarled the Qunari guard. "Until the Arishok declares otherwise."

The compound hadn't changed much over the years. Neither had the faces that glared derisively at Hawke and her companions as they entered. Large sections of what used to be the Qunari's battleship now lined the stone walls, leading to a flight of worn stairs, at the far end of the garrison. They walked with caution through the strategically positioned Karasten and toward the hulking, tower of flesh that was the Arishok. He sat hunched like a horned gargoyle on a massive, makeshift wooden throne at the top of the steps.

The Arishok's cool steel eyes studied Hawke methodically as they halted at the foot of the stairs. Leaning on his knees with his elbows, he nodded with acknowledgement before straightening his posture. "Serah Hawke."

"Missere?" She responded coolly.

"Last we met, I did not know your name. Did not care to," growled the Arishok in his deep booming voice. "You have changed your fortune over the years. The Qunari have not. I offer a courtesy, Hawke. Someone has stolen what he thinks is the formula for gaatlok. You will want to hunt him."

"How very generous," Anders mumbled miserably under his breath.

"Excuse me," Hawke coughed to conceal her laughter, "but this sounds like quite the feat."

"It was allowed," the Arishok continued, his focus fiercely fixed on Hawke. "The stolen formula was a decoy. Saar-qamek. A poison gas, not explosives. A small amount is dangerous enough to your kind. But if made in quantity... perhaps by someone intending to sell it?"

"That merchant... Javaris?" Hawke's eyebrows raised with dawning comprehension, "But- that was three years ago... It took him long enough to come up with this. Ar-are you sure it was him?"

The horned giant leaned back, grinning sardonically, "Others have asked for the gaatlok, but only he chose to delude himself beyond "No". Is three years so long to a hateful fool? His crimes seems obvious. Further evidence could be the death of many. I would not wait."

Sighing heavily, Hawke began to knead her temples, "Alright- So just how dangerous is this decoy of yours?"

"The gas is not a threat to Qunari. For you kind-" the Arishok's eyes grew colder still, as he bared his sharp teeth. "The gas kills, but not before it turns allies against their own in a blind rage. So, the greater the skill of those sent against us, the more dangerous they become to themselves."

"Wonderful," sneered Aveline, crossing her arms and glaring at the Arishok.

Hawke craned her neck over her shoulder and looked back at Fenris. His eyes immediately locked with hers. It only took a moment of searching each others gaze for them to come to an understanding.

Hawke felt obligated to protect the city and though the elf did not understand this loyalty or like how it often put her in harms way, he would stand by her. He nodded once and Hawke gave him a crooked smile. She marveled at how she had ever managed without someone like Fenris at her side.

"Varric," Hawke said sluggishly turning her eyes to the dwarf. "Dearest- any idea where we can find Javaris?"

He shrugged, "I heard about a sell-off. Merchant territories and such. They don't do that unless someone left in a hurry. I'd figure he rooked some noble. He's sure not a burglar."

"Just tell us where he is," Aveline barked.

"I haven't kept up on the squirt," Varric snapped back. "Ask the Coterie."

"Panahedon, Hawke. I do not hope you die," with an uninterested wave of his clawed hand, the Arishok signaled their dismissal.

As they left the compound, Hawke watched over her shoulder as the the Qunari guards slowly closed the gates behind them. She turned her head to find her friends a few feet away, all standing and waiting at the base of the stairs that lead out of the Docks and into Lowtown.

Hawke breathed in deeply, kneading her temples once more as she trudged passed her companions. Taking a only few stomping steps up the stairs before turning and plopping herself down. She groaned irritably as she leaned forward resting her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands.

"Well, that was fun," said Anders, lightly swinging his arms and bouncing on his heels. "I really don't see why we don't spend more time here."

Fenris rolled his eyes theatrically and shook his head, "If you were as accomplished at being a mage, as you are at whining-"

"So! Ah-" Hawke hurriedly interjected, quickly sitting up and turning to Varric. She stared at the dwarf pleadingly with raised eyebrows before continuing, "The Coterie, huh? Where do you think we could find some of them?"

He openly chuckled looking from the mage to the elf as they scowled at one another. Grinning with roguish glee before returning Hawke's gaze. Varric sighed and he swaggered over to her. Putting his hands on his knees he casually sat down beside her on the steps. "I'd assume it's safe to say they'd have their people stationed in Darktown. Let me talk with some of my contacts, try to narrow down the search. As much as I _**love**_ Darktown, I'd prefer it if we didn't have to spend the entire week in that hell hole. No offense, Blondie," the dwarf added to Anders, placatingly bowing his head and raising his hands.

"None taken," Anders shrugged with indifference.

"Well then- What now?" Aveline was leaning back on one leg with her arms crossed, looking rather vexed. Being informed of a possibly disastrous situation, immediately followed by finding out that she would have to hurry up and wait before anything could be done about it; always seemed to put the Guard Captain in a foul mood.

Suddenly both Aveline's posture and expression relaxed as she visibly fell into her own thoughts. She slightly smiled and snapped her fingers, "Have you had a chance to speak with that Templar I was telling you about? Emeric?"_**  
**_

"It's always, work, work, work with you, isn't it?" Hawke sighed bitterly, leaning back as she propped herself up with her elbows on the step behind her. Closing her eyes and letting her head drop back, she breathed deeply. "I swear on Andraste- there was once a time in my life I could get away with doing absolutely nothing..." Hawke said smiling wistfully, _**"**_It was glorious."

They all laughed, but hearing Fenris chuckle made Hawke's head to pop back up. The elf was smirking and shaking his head as he stared at her. She bit her lower lip as she attempted to fight the goofy grin that was starting to spread across her face.

Turning her attention back to Aveline, Hawke corked an eyebrow "Wait- shouldn't you be getting back to the barracks now, anyway?"

"I'm off duty," Aveline shrugged and her cheeks turned a mute shade of pink.

Varric and Hawke glanced at each other from the corner of their eyes and then gaped at Aveline.

"And the trend of her scaring the piss out of me continues," Varric said to Hawke, rubbing his brow.

Hawkes sighed again, "Yes- I've spoken with your "bloody hobbyist constable". I was just going to muzzle the geezer-" her eyes turned mischievous as she looked up at the Guard Captain. "But _**he**_ said that the guards that searched the DuPuis mansion were incompetent and they didn't know what they were looking for."

"Fine- if he insists," Aveline growled. "His so called "evidence" that Gascard DuPuis has been killing these women, has been circumstantial at best. He needs more proof before he goes convincing my men to raid a nobleman's home."

"I agree," Hawke said simply, as she pushed herself up off the stairs.

She offered Varric a hand and helped him onto his feet. Hawke turned and started heading up the steps to Lowtown and the others followed.

"We were thinking we should pay DuPuis' a little visit," Varric said smoothly. "Sometime after nightfall, perhaps."

"You know, cloak and dagger? That old song," said Hawke, throwing a playful glance to Aveline over her shoulder.

"Your speciality," Fenris said without irony. Though a slight, impish smile turned the corner of his lips.

Hawke laughed, pausing on the stairs and turning to face her companions. "Well- we have a few hours to kill then. Let's head back to Hightown. Bohdan will be happy to feed you all and I am certain mother would _**love**_ to interrogate you, Aveline. She's been dying to hear all about you being Captain of the Guard" Hawke mockingly saluted Aveline before continuing to climb the steep steps.

Aveline grumbled in response.

"And I can finally change back into a full set of leathers," said Hawke, reaching the top of the stairs in Lowtown. She plucked at the bottom of her new cotton shirt, staring at it with disapproving eyes. "I feel like I have been walking around half-naked, all afternoon" she waggled her eyebrows once more.

Anders cleared his throat as he came up along Hawke's side. "You know, Hawke- if there is _**anything**_ I can do to help you with that, I would b- OU!"

Aveline had slapped Anders hard over the head, cutting him off.

Everyone laughed, except for Fenris. The elf crossed his arms and glared murderously at the mage.

Hawke was the only one that seemed to notice. She allowed the others to walk ahead of them as she and Fenris stood there for a moment gazing at each other. Hawke's smirk was quickly turning into a broad smile, while the elf's eyes shied away from hers, grinning as he slowly allowed himself to relax. She could feel her heart doing backflips in her chest.

"Come on then," Hawke said with a breathless laugh and nodded towards their friends. They followed closely behind and made their way to Hawke's estate.

* * *

It was well after dark when Hawke squatted down to examine the keyhole on the elaborately, filigreed wooden door. She reached back holding out her hand, without turning her head. Varric pulled out a new pair of lock picks from his inner coat pocket before handing them to Hawke. She set to work, her tongue sticking out with concentration.

Fenris stood watch as he hid behind a pillar a few yards behind them. Aveline and Varric stood watching over Hawkes shoulder as she worked on the lock. And Anders stood nervously behind the Guard Captain, holding an arm across his chest and biting his thumb nail as he stared up at the DuPuis mansion.

"We could always try knocking first," chastised Aveline as she watched.

The lock made a satisfying click as it came free. Hawke's chest puffed up with pride as she stood and returned the picks to Varric. She smiled maliciously and winked at Aveline, who was still condemningly staring at her.

"What fun would that be?" The dwarf retorted with a furrowed brow as he returned the lock picks to their rightful place. He whistled, signaling to Fenris the all clear.

With lightening speed, the elf flashed into a white lyrium haze and was standing once more by Hawke's side before any of them could blink. Hawke beamed at him.

"Shall we?" Hawke said, pushing the estate's door wide open and bowed graciously.

Anders hurried forward and was the first to enter the dark mansion. While Varric placed one of his large gloved hands to Aveline's lower back and gently pushed her along as they walked. The Guard Captain mumbled curses as they passed through the door together.

Fenris step aside, politely holding out his arm to guide the way and bowed his head to Hawke, "I enjoy following you."

"Why, thank you," Hawke said grinning and blushing wildly before dipping into a playful curtsy.

She hopped over the door frame and into the house and Fernis softly chuckled as he came in behind her. All of her joviality faded as she and her companions stood there motionless. The large dimly lit foyer that lay before them was eerily quiet.

Unnatural so.

Hawke's gaze snapped to Anders and he was already staring back at her, his staff in hand. He was breathing heavily, his eyes wide with distaste and fear. "Blood magic," he whispered.

As if on cue, a half a dozen or more shades began rise menacingly from the polished marble floors.

"Face me!" shouted Aveline, swinging her short sword from it's sheath, and banging it across the face of her shield. "I stand for all of us!" She bravely dashed out, slamming her shield into the first shade unlucky enough to be in her path.

"Looks like we're in the right place," Fenris said evenly, dismounting his greatsword from his shoulders and quickly glancing to Hawke.

She laughed balefully as she tossed miasmic flask into the air and with a roundhouse kick, smashed it into the wall next to her. Hawke vanished in a puff of black smoke.

Aveline and Fernis pushed forward. Taking on as much heat from the shades as they possibly dared. Hawke darted in and out, spinning, slicing and jabbing her blades into the dark, soulless creatures.

An arrow whizzed by Hawkes head and it took down a shade that was flanking her right, "That's one more for me!" Varric yelled gleefully, "How many have you got, Hawke?"

"Three!" Hawke shouted back with a sly smile. She tucked her chin to her chest and rolled over. Landing straight back onto her feet as she dodged the malevolent grasping shades.

Thinking she was safely out of reach, she spun herself around to find a rage demon burning inches away from her face. It leaned in towards her and hissed.

"Ha, ha... Oops," she said before stumbling back, and falling onto her side.

"Hawke!" yelled Fenris.

Instantly dropping her daggers, Hawke pulled into herself. Putting her hands on the back of her head and shielding her face with arms.

_This is it_, Hawke thought, _I'm going to be burnt into a tiny, little ball of ash. Right here on this blighter's fancy floors. _

Nothing happened. In-fact it was abruptly quiet, and the sounds she did hear made her feel as if she were trapped in a glass bowl. Slowly taking her arms away from her face, she noticed that she was surround in a sphere of purple light. It's surface rippling like water, she watched through it as flashes of light repeatedly hit the demon and he spectacularly burst.

The sphere faded and Anders ran forward, kneeling when he reached Hawke's side. The mage's face with racked with emotion as you gazed at her. All she could manage was to stare blankly back at him. He breathed in a shaky breath and hesitantly smiled.

"Well... we won," Anders said as he took Hawkes elbow and helped her to her feet.

Aveline, Varric and Fenris ran over to them. All wearing expressions equally mixed with horror and relief.

Anders and Hawke still stood there staring at each other. Hawke began to laugh with deep solace and threw her arms around the mage's neck.

"Thank you, Anders," she laughed softly in his ear. Pulling away, Hawke smiled warmly at him as he fidgeted uncomfortably under her gaze, his cheeks burning red. She laughed again before turning around and picking up her daggers.

Putting the blades back in their sheaths, she walked up to Fenris. Staring deeply into his eyes and gently resting a hand on his forearm, she comforted him. "And I was worried this would be easy," she said smiling broadly at the elf before heading for the stairs.

Aveline and Varric followed after her, while the elf and the mage stood there silently studying one another with narrowed eyes. Fenris allowed his expression to soften ever so slightly before he swiftly turned. Bolting up the stairs and calmly taking his place at Hawke's side. Anders sighed heavily, rolling his eyes as made his way to join them on the landing.

As Anders reached them, Aveline adjusted her shield as she put it back on her shoulders, sighing gruffly, "I don't think the guards raiding the estate received that particular reception."

"Well aren't we lucky," Varric said sourly, "I should just pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming."

Hawke snorted back laughter, shaking her head as they all started moving their way down the dark hallway. Minutes passed as they searched the halls. Opening and closing any doors they crossed, and picking up anything they found of interest. A few letters, and some abandoned women's clothing.

"That's strange," Anders had remarked. "Haven't seen much of a woman's touch in this place. Whose clothes are these?"

"Perhaps the belong to a family member," Aveline suggested, hopefully.

As they continued you to wander through the dark estate, they suddenly heard a woman's screams. They all froze. Staring from another before dashing down the hall at full speed and swinging open the door from which the wretched sounds came.

"Help me, please! He's gone mad!" An elderly woman screamed, as she huddled in the corner. A man stood looming over her, Gascard DuPuis.

Everything that happened next, happened simultaneously in a blur of speed and commotion.

Varric quickly swung Bianca off his back and fired in one fluid motion. The arrow darted through the air. It's tip just grazing DuPuis' cheek, before it punched a small hole in the wall.

Gascard's hand flinched to his face, as he spun round to confront them. "You're not- Ah- Shit!" cried DuPuis, in his thick Orlesian accent.

Aveline bolted towards the woman. Quickly grabbing her by the arm and dragging her to the door in which they had just entered.

Anders flung his arms forward, with his staff in one hand. His eyes narrowing with intense focus as he froze DuPuis where he stood.

Fenris swiftly drew his gigantic sword. Holding it's hilt with both hands as he rested it's blade inches away from the Orlesian noble's nose.

While Hawke managed to spin around behind DuPuis, wrapping an arm around his neck and putting the tip of her dagger firmly against his lower back. She held it there without enough pressure to break his skin, but just enough for Gascard to know that it would be easy for her to slide her blade between his ribs.

Anders released his spell, but kept his arms and staff where they were. Ready to strike.

"I- I know what this looks like. But I swear- I didn't hurt her, " DuPuis said, rigidly holding up both of his hands for them all to see.

"So the wild-eyed hysteria is just for show then?" Hawke snarled in his ear through gritted teeth.

"You don't understand," the Orlesian breathed."Someone is after her. I had to keep her safe. I don't know why you're here. But there's a killer out there and I think he's playing us both. Please just- just let me explain-" pleaded DuPuis as his hands began to shake in the air.

"Alright-" Hawke laughed, slowly releasing her arm from around his throat. As she moved to face him, Hawke kept her blade held against him. Lightly dragging it's edge across the surface of his shirt. She added pressure once more as it's tip reached the center of his chest. "We'll see if you can talk yourself out of this."

Fenris still held his greatsword a breath away from DuPuis' face. Stepping next to Hawke, the elf's fierce green eyes burned as he glared at the noble. His sword staying steadily in place.

"Twenty silver, he says "It wasn't me! It was the one-armed man!"" Varric laughed to himself, with Bianca cradled in his arms. Aimed and waiting to fire.

"Several years ago my sister was murdered and the bastard is now in Kirkwall killing again," DuPuis voice was harsh, and filled with fear. Before continuing, he closed his eyes and steadied his breathing. "It starts with a bouquet of white lilies. He sends them to each new victim- Alessa was going to be next. I took her so he would have to come to me! I was finally going to face my sisters killer." Looking to Hawke, his expression intensely soured, "Then you should up."

"He's lying!" Alessa cried, standing beside Aveline and clutching to her as if she were a shield."He hurt me!"

Gascard sighed irritably "I've explained this! I need your blood to track you down. If he took you-" he stepped forward, heading towards Alessa.

"Ah- ah- ah. Stay right where you are," said Hawke waving her dagger in front of his face, before resting its tip once more on DuPuis' sternum.

"It was for her protection," Gascard finished with exasperation.

"He lies! Let go of me!" Alessa spun away from Aveline, whimpering as she ran out of the room. A few moments passed before they heard the mansion's front door open and slam shut.

Aveline stared at the nobleman with undisguised loathing and came towards him. Not stopping until her face was merely inches away from his. "We should report you to the Templars for blood magic," she spat, immediately turning away from him and taking position behind Hawke.

"Yes, I used blood magic and lyrium to augment my powers," Gascard said appeasingly. "I'm not proud of what I've done. But I had to. He took my sister from me."

"Couldn't you have just told the city guard what you told us?"asked Hawke, nodding her head to Aveline.

"Why?" the blood mage snarled. "I don't want him arrested. This isn't about justice. I need to be the one that bleeds him dry."

Anders shivered, before finally letting his arms hang loosely at his side. "Right... That's more than a bit creepy, ya know?"

"Emeric was certain you were the killer," asserted Aveline, crossing her arms.

"Of course he was," Gascard said, waving his hand dismissively. "But I was trying to find the killer just like him! Our paths crossed and he just assumed that I was the murderer."

"You really did make yourself a target ya know- Kidnapping people and that whole, messy blood magic business," Hawke said as she waggled her fingers.

"I suppose that's true," DuPuis shrugged.

Hawke sighed, letting her dagger fall to her thigh as she studied the nobleman. The man had used blood magic, which was far beyond crossing any lines she was comfortable with. But if it were her- if it was Bethany... she wasn't sure she could say, she wouldn't have done the same.

She glanced to Fernis. His sword was still evenly posed in front of Gascard's nose. The elf was staring right back at her. He already knew what she was thinking and he clearly didn't like it. And Hawke knew there was no sense in trying to convince him otherwise. For better or for worse, Fenris would never trust a mage- _**especially**_ a blood mage.

Turning back to DuPuis, Hawke reached out and touched Fenris' hands. She gently pushed down his blade. The elf didn't fight her, nor did he conceal his disapproval.

"I can help you track down your sisters killer," Hawke offered, sincerely.

"No-" DePuis quickly retorted, as he swiftly made for the door. "I can manage on my own. I'm headed to Darktown. If you learn anything new about the killer, you can find me there. I have a score to settle with him."

Before Hawke or any of them had a chance to say or do anything, he was gone.

She couldn't explain it, but Hawke suddenly felt nauseous. A terribly uneasy feeling sinking into the bottom of her stomach.

_That was a mistake_, Hawke knew it with every fiber of her being. But why? There was no proof that DuPuis did anything wrong... aside from the blood magic of course.

To make matters worse, when Hawke finally braved raising her eyes to Fenris, he was scowling back at her. Aveline didn't look much happier either. Hawke nervously cracked her neck and roughly ran a hand through her hair as an awkward, heavy silence filled the room.

"Soooo," the dwarf said cautiously stepping in between Hawke and the others. "Hanged Man?" He offered brightly.

"Maker," Hawke breathed. "I could use a drink."

"Or ten," Anders interjected. "Come on," he brazenly walked forward, grabbing Hawke's arm and pulled her through the door and out of the room, "We're going to get good and drunk."

Hawke didn't fight as Varric and Anders lead her all the way through Lowtown and to the Hanged Man. Their endless banter was strangely soothing and reassuring, and she found herself laughing most of the way there. Though upon arriving to the pub, Hawke's mirth was quickly replaced with profound disappointment.

Fenris... was no longer with them.


	7. All that You Give

**AUTHORS NOTES: **So holy crap- this one got away from me in terms of length. Sorry about that, but I hope it's worth it!

Special shout outs to:mille libri: **At Your Side** and cellotlix:**To Be Free**, Can't express enough how much I loved these stories.

Cellotlix especially. I blame you- I loved your story so much and was so terribly troubled by the lack of conclusion that I have started this madness. Your story is why I have spent the past three weeks scribbling all over scarp paper at work and staying up late at night clicking away at my keyboard.

I know I said this week we would be entering the Fade- I have mentioned the Fade... twice! Next week we'll actually be going there. **FYI** this chapter is chuck full of gushy romance. Hope ya'll can stomach it!

* * *

**CHAPTER 7**

Fenris had just left. Without so much as a word.

Hawke spent the next hour brooding over his disappearance. Sitting with her elbows on the bar and resting her chin on her hand as she nursed a warm ale.

She absently listened as Varric and Isabella desperately tried to one up each other. Spinning fabulous yarns about what recent adventures they had all been on together. With occasional inputs from Anders and a lot _constructive_ criticism from Aveline.

Hawke had missed most of the conversation. She did however, manage to catch the part when Aveline and Isabella had gotten into a row over one of Varric's stories.

The dwarf's favorite story to tell was still of how Hawke came to be in the Free Marches. Her family's harrowing escape from the Blight in Lothering. The tragic fates of Aveline's husband, Wesley, and her brother, Carver. Hawke's daring fight with a monstrous ogre. But the dwarf could never decide which ending of the story he preferred. There was always the one Varric had made up himself. The far more fanciful _"Why- Hawke had arrived via dragon back, of course."_ Or merely the truth. That Aveline, Hawke and what little remained of her family, all managed to get to Kirkwall through assistance of Flemeth, the Witch of the Wilds.

"Oh come off it, big girl," Isabella chided the Guard Captain, waving her off with a disgruntled snarl.

"It makes less sense than you do... If that's even possible. And it's not true," barked Aveline, crossing her arms and returning Isabella's scowling glare.

"What fun is the truth? I'm sure when Varric includes you in his stories- he does everything he can to make you seem more interesting. And he even leaves out the bits about you being mannish, awkward, and a ball-crushing-do-gooder," Isabella smiled serenely, as she mirrored the Guard Captains pose.

"Shut up, whore," Aveline muttered.

Hawke couldn't figure out what difference it really made. Both the dwarfs grand retelling, and the truth seemed just as impossible. She wasn't even sure if she liked ending up as the central character to all of Varric's tall tales. With the way he went on, everyone in Kirkwall would start thinking she was some kind of hero...

She certainly didn't feel that way at the moment. Hawke couldn't decide what was bothering her more. The fact that she just let a potentially crazy blood mage go loss on the streets. Or the fact that Fenris had just up and left. He at least could have had the decency to lie. Taken the time to come up with some sort of excuse before he took off. She didn't even get a chance to explain- to apologize.

_Why do I need to apologize?_ She thought bitterly. _For what? _Hawke groaned as she put her hands in her lap and let her forehead fall onto the bar with a thud.

"Haven't I done enough healing for one day?" Came an amused voice.

"Hmmmm?" Hawke moaned without lifting her head. From the corner of her eye, she noticed Anders magic singed hands saddle up to the bar as he took the stool next to her.

Turning her head to the side, Hawke let her cheek rest on the dirty bar as she looked up at the mage. "Hi Anders."

He was wearing a deeply entertained smile, "I don't know if this will help-" he said corking an eyebrow. "But someone once told me that "We can't always predict the outcome of our actions. We can only make them with a true heart.""

Hawke sat up, resting an arm on the bar, unable to stop the grin that spread across her face. "Very wise, indeed," she said, her expression turning puckish. "Who on earth told you that?"

"Eh-" Anders shrugged, turning to his ale as he rested a hand on the rim of his mug. "No one important," he cast her another sidelong smile.

Hawke laughed, returning to her own ale. "Thank you," she managed as she felt her mind dragging itself back to it's previous state of melancholy. "Look- um... I'm going to sneak out of here. It's getting late, and I really need to stop letting mother wait up all night for me."

Anders nodded his gaze reaching hers as she rose from her stool. He smiled sweetly, though it did not meet his eyes. Standing up, he gestured a hand towards the door indicating that he too intended to escape. Both taking a glance to their friends, she and Anders quickly and quietly gathered their things and walked out together.

They headed through the streets of Lowtown in silence for a time. Hawke was too lost in her own thoughts to notice that Anders had not stopped staring at her since they left the Hanged Man. A pained longing lingering in the depths of his hazel eyes. Nor did she notice that as they walked the mage was gradually inching closer to her with every step. They stopped when they reached the foot of the stairs that lead directly into Hightown.

"Will you be alright?" Anders asked with genuine concern.

"Who me? Pfft," Hawke waved a careless hand as she stared at her feet. "Of course. I'm always alright."

Anders laughed mirthlessly. "Would you still like me to meet you at the Alienage in the morning?"

"Oh- yes. Thank you," Hawke said, putting a hand over face. She had almost completely forgotten. "It's Arianni. She- needs some sort of help with Feynriel, again. Naturally she wasn't all that specific."

"Naturally," Anders laughed again. Taking a breath, he stepped toward her and lightly took her hand. Bending down he kissed Hawke tenderly on the cheek. "Good night... Marian," he whispered.

He hurried away, and Hawke watched Anders as he bounced down the stairs heading back to his clinic in Darktown. _There is at least one decent mage in Kirkwall_, she thought. Smiling slightly she turned and headed up the stairs.

When she reached the Amell estate, Bodhan jubilantly answered the door.

"Good evening, Missere! There are no new messages and thankfully, no catastrophes to report. Why, my boy Sandel only set fire to the curtains once!" The dwarf boosted with pride. "Now- is there anything I can get for you? I haven't yet started the fire in the library. Will your friend be coming along?"

Hawke had sat down on one of the benches that lined the corridor and was in the process of lugging off her boots. She froze- he was referring to Fenris. The elf was here so frequently that Bodhan expected him as part of the routine. She sighed miserably before dropping a boot to the ground.

"No- thank you, Bodhan. That won't be necessary."

"You're home rather early," Leandra's voice called, as she entered the hallway. There was a sly smile on her lips as she stared at her daughter. Bodhan beamed as Leandra entered, he gave her a short bow and scurried out of the room.

"I am?" Hawke asked quizzically. She hadn't realized her mother was actually expecting her.

"For the hours you keep," she laughed, as she sat next to Hawke on the low bench. "I usually don't expect to hear you stumbling in until just before dawn."

Hawke blushed shamefully, as she looked away and set to work on her other boot.

"Lover's corral?"

Hawke jolted upright, dropping her still booted foot to the floor. "Wh-what?" she gaped.

Leandra laughed brightly before wrapping an arm around Hawke's shoulder. "Marian, I see the way you and that elf look at each other," her mother was positively beaming. "And now you're here, all flushed. Isn't Fenris usually here this time of night? Reading?" She reminded Hawke, grinning mischievously.

"I... you- well..." Hawke was at a loss and quickly rose, "Goodnight mother!" With one boot still on she quickly hobbled into the other room and towards the stairs. Fully intending to run straight to her bedroom, bury herself under her covers and never return.

"Marian," Leandra called sweetly following after her. Managing to grab Hawke by the hand before she darted up the stairs. "Look at me, love" she said taking both of her daughters hands in her own.

Hawke turned to face her, but did not raise her eyes to meet her mothers.

Leandra gently put a hand under Hawke's chin, "My little scoundrel," Leandra whispered; calling her by her father's pet name, with a sweet sadness. "I know you don't like talking about yourself, Maker forbid. But please dear, do not fret. These things have a way of working themselves out," she took her hand away from Hawkes chin and smiled lightly. "You two will be sitting in front of the fire again before you know it."

Hawke smiled at that. So many memories she had of Fenris was of the two of them either sitting in her library or in the elf's mansion by the fireplace. It always seemed much easier to talk when it was just the two of them, alone by the fire...

Hawke gradually meet her mother's gaze before letting out a breathless laugh. She hopped down off the steps and threw her arms around her mother, hugging her tightly. Pulling away she held Leandra's shoulders, "Mother, you are a genius." Hawke said beaming with impish glee.

Leandra laughed with a perplexed grin. Waving off her daughter in bemusement.

Hawke ran into the hallway swooping up her discarded boot before leaning back into the room, hanging off the door frame. "Did Bodhan manage to hunt down a bottle of that wine I have been looking for? That _**really**_ fancy, expensive one?"

"The Agreggio? Yes, I belie-" Leandra started.

"BODHAN!" Hawke shouted. "Can you fetch me that bottle of Agreggio?" She plopped down on the floor and began to theatrically wrestle her boot back on.

Leandra crossed her arms and chuckled once more. Watching Hawke with deepening delight.

Once her boot was back in place, Hawke jumped to her feet. Jugging passed her mother and into the library, she grabbed one of the books from the pile that was sitting on top of her desk. Bodhan came in behind her holding a dark bottle out to her. "Here you are, Missere. Had to have it ordered special, I did. Otherwise we'd of had it sooner."

Hawke quickly took the wine bottle by the neck and read its label, her smile growing broader still. Since that night three years ago when Fenris and she had redecorated the elf's borrowed estate; they had been steadily working through the rest of the wine in the cellar. Though they had given up the practice of painting the walls with it, in favor of actual drinking the wine. Hawke had been thinking it might be a nice surprise to serve him with their cherished Agreggio for a change. In light of the present circumstances, now seemed like the perfect time.

"Thank you!" She said heartily before smacking a kiss on Bodhan's forehead. The dwarf stood there looking thunderstruck as Hawke continued to scurry about.

Kissing her mother briskly on the cheek, she made for the door. "Love you!"

"Please be careful, Marian," Leandra called after Hawke as she went out the door. "It's close to midnight and the streets are dangerous."

Hawke peeked her head back through the door smiling wickedly at her mother, "Mother, please. Don't you remember? My name is Marian Danger Hawke. Geesh," shaking her head, she slammed the door behind her.

She hurried along the dark streets of Hightown with her book and wine tucked under one arm. Hawke vibrated with a giddy anxiousness. Wringing her hands together as she walked, she thought about what she might say to the elf when she got there. Hawke had never felt like she needed a plan before running off to Fenris' mansion- Maker knows there were times when she probably should have.

It was something her mother had said... _"The way you and that elf look at each other"_, it kept echoing in the back of her mind.

Though Hawke was well aware of her own feelings towards Fenris, she preferred to ignore them. Or try to anyway. There had been times when she had been close to admitting that she was falling for him- but only to herself. Their relationship was... delicate.

Fenris' experiences as a slave and being on the run, left him a little squeamish about making long lasting social ties. And she by no means was in a position fault him for that. She had been on the run for almost as long as she could remember. Growing up with apostates for a father and sister meant that they were always on the move. Always just a few short steps ahead of the Templars. Her time in Kirkwall had been a strange departure from that life.

If Fenris was anything like her, and Hawke was pretty certain that he was- if she pushed him too hard, he would run. She would. And had in the past. Running away was something they both did very well. But for the first time, Hawke's natural instinct to flee was undermined by her growing fear of losing something... someone.

She blinked- startled to find herself already standing outside of Danarius' abandoned mansion. Hawke felt panic well up inside herself. She still had no idea what she would even say to Fenris.

_Hello Fenris. So sorry for the hour and for that silly business with that little blood mage earlier- Oh and have I mentioned, I am completely mad for you? _Hawke slammed the palm of her hand to her forehead and groaned. _Andraste save me, _she thought as she took one final cleansing breath and pushed open the heavy wooden door.

"Fenris?"Hawke called cautiously as she walked through the all too familiar dark foyer. Nothing had changed over the years. There were even still bits of the marble statue Fenris had pushed off the top of the stairs all over the floor. The door at the top of the steps was open and letting out the warm orange glow of the fire from within. Casting an eerie haze through the darkness.

"Yes, my friend?"Answered Fenris' gruff voice, merrily. He stepped out onto the landing. His cheeks were flushed, and he was grinning like a buffoon at the sight of her.

The elf swaggered as he walked to the banister. Resting his elbows as he leaned over the rallying, he gazed at her with undisguised desire. Fenris was already holding a wine bottle in his hand, and it was more than three-quarters empty.

Hawke laughed nervously as her eyes widened with surprise. Everything she had been fretting over as she walked through the streets Hightown, had just flown out the window. Forgotten the second he staggered out of that room. She had never seen him drunk before and her curiosity drowned out all memory of her original purpose.

"Hmmm... I've brought you some wine," she crocked an eyebrow and lifted her bottle for him to see as she climbed the stairs. "But it appears as though you may have already had some," added Hawke joshingly.

Fenris laughed harshly, offering Hawke his open bottle as she reached him. "The last bottle of the Aggerigio. I've been saving it for a special occasion."

"Really?" she asked, putting her own wine back under her arm before taking his. She took a long pull from the bottle before handing it back. "And what might that be?" Hawke breathed.

Bottle in hand, Fenris wandered back through the doorway and headed for the fireplace with Hawke following closely behind. The elf knelt down before he sat on the floor, swinging his legs out in front of him and leisurely leaning back on one arm.

"The anniversary of my escape," Fenris continued brazenly, swigging from his bottle. He stared up at her and waved for her to sit down next to him. "Care to hear the story?" he asked leaning in close to Hawke as she settled onto the floor, placing her things beside her.

Following his lead she stretched her legs out in front of herself and leaned back, propping herself up on both arms. Feeling the heat of the fire on her boots, she moaned with pleasure before meeting Fenris' intense green eyes.

She searched them carefully. "I thought you avoided talking about this," offered Hawke.

He was drunk after all. She didn't relish the idea of him remembering this event, as her taking advantage of him at a rare moment of weakness. No matter how badly she wanted to hear this.

"Not on special occasions," he said, gesturing grandly with his dark, nearly empty bottle.

Hawke gave a slow nod, before slyly smiling. "I enjoy listening to you talk."

The elf's smile mirrored her own as he chuckled to himself. "There are few pleasures greater than talking with a beautiful woman."

Hawke felt the rush of blood to her cheeks and she impulsively rubbed the side of her face against her shoulder. Biting her bottom lip to suppress the giggle that was begging to be set loose.

Fernis tilted his head studying her as he leaned forward, pulling up his knees and draping his arms over them. "Let's see," he said staring off into the fire and seemingly into his past. "It was in Seheron. The Imperium and the Qunari have fought over the island for centuries, now. I was there with Danarius during a Qunari attack. I managed to get him to a ship, but there was no room for a slave on board," he said bitterly before taking another pull from the wine still in his hand. "I was left behind. I barely got out alive."

"I thought Danarius considered you to be his most prized possession?" Hawke said barely keeping the bitterness she felt towards slave owners, and Danarius in particular, from her tone. "Why would he just leave you there?"

"He wasn't given much choice. The look on his face as the ship pulled out was priceless," he nodded, the smile on Fenris' face was menacingly board as he reveled in the memory. "There are rebels in the Seheron jungles- called Fog Warriors. They found me and took me in, nursed me back to health. I stayed with them for a time," he paused, staring at what little wine remained left in his bottle. "Until Danarius finally came for me."

It appeared as though, to Fenris' deep dissatisfaction, he was sobering. Holding the bottle above his head, he tilted his neck back and allowed the last few drops of liquid to fall into his mouth before hurling the bottle into the fire. It smashed as it made contact with the back wall of the fireplace. They sat in silences as they briefly admired the dark, shimmering shards of glass that lay scattered amongst the flames.

"You choose to stay with these Fog Warriors, willingly?" She finally wondered aloud, eying the elf with quizzical concern.

"I'd- grown fond of the Rebels," Fenris' said, his frown deepening with every word. "They bowed to no master and fought for their freedom... it was beyond my experience. When Danarius came, they refused to let him take me-" pausing again, as he crossed his legs beneath himself, sliding himself around to face her and hung his head low.

He inhaled a single, shaky breath. "He ordered me to kill them... so I did... I- killed them all," his shoulders slumped forward, every line of his body expressing his overwhelming shame. He held a hand to his forehead, gradually sliding it back as he brushed his long white bangs out of his face. His hand not resting until it reached the back of his neck.

"Why?" Hawke breathed, unable to prevent the look of disappointment that crossed her face.

Fenris shook his head. "Because he told me to. Because it felt inevitable. My master had returned and this—this fantasy life was over. But once it was done, when I stood over their bodies … I felt—I couldn't … I ran... and I never looked back," his hoarse voice cracked as he quickly closed his eyes tight and turned his face away.

Hawke watched him for a moment. She felt an overwhelming and unfamiliar urge to hold him, to comfort him. She knew he would never accept that. She wouldn't. She would want nothing more than to swim, to drown in her own guilt- very much like the feelings of shame she still felt over the lose Carver... and Bethany. "Thank you-" said Hawke sincerely, "For telling me. This can't be easy to talk about."

"I have never spoken about what happened to anyone," Fenris said with a kind awe, his gaze finding it's way back to Hawke's face. "I've never wanted to. Perhaps this is what is means to have a friend," he said smiling softly at her. His eyes were full with profound respect and gratitude.

"Just friends?" Hawke shrugged, beaming back and sighed theatrically. "I suppose that's a start."

Fenris raised his hand, balling it into a fist and covering his mouth with it as he anxiously coughed. "So- what warranted this offering?" Fenris asked, clearly changing the topic. He reached behind Hawke, picking up the bottle of Aggerigo that sat behind her.

"Uh-" her mind went blank. For a moment she honestly couldn't remember. Then a flash of Gascard's slimy face entered her mind. Hawke groaned. "Right... that. Well," she said awkwardly, "I wanted to apologize-"

"What terrible sins have you committed lately," Fenris' expression was mischievous but his tone was soft, and gentle.

His eyes were looking into hers. He seemed impossibly close... too close. Yet not close enough. Hawke's shook her head fighting the trembles that surged over her skin.

"Oh you know- the whole, letting the slithering Blood Mage off the hook- thing," she said desperately trying to stay calm. Taking in a deep shaky, breath she sighed heavily. "You'll be happy to know that I regretted instantly," her eyes shamefully darted to the floor, adding in a voice barely above a whisper "And not just because I knew you would disapprove."

The elf's face hardened as he turned his regard to the fire. Filling the room with a heavy silence.

"I did not approve," he said simply with all traces of his previous lightheartedness vanishing. "But...I-" he nodded cautiously before returning his focus back to Hawke's soft grey eyes, "understood."

Hawke's brow furrowed.

"Bethany," Fenris answered her questioning eyes with a shrug, a slight smile returning to his lips.

She sat there staring at the elf, dumbfounded. Besides Varric, he was the only one that saw straight through her jokes and sarcasm. Knowing that it was not merely due to an overactive wit, but it was in fact her shield against the entire world. Fenris it seemed, not only saw through this but could see exactly what it was she was guarding.

He saw... her. All of her. For better or worse. And she saw him. It filled her heart to the brim with an indescribable feeling, so much so she was worried it might explode. Grinning, Hawke shook her head, her eyes still locked with his. "I can't keep anything from you, can I?"

"It's never stopped you from trying," retorted Fenris dryly.

She laughed, pulling her knees up into her chest and wrapping her arms around them. "I guess- I just assumed that's why you took off," she said softly, suddenly unable to pry her eyes away from her knees. A shy smile began to settle on her face.

"You seemed to be preoccupied with more than one mage, this evening," the elf spat bitterly.

Hawkes head snapped up to find Fenris scowling at the fire. Unwilling to meet her inquiring gaze. She gaped at him, "You- You mean Anders?"

He did not respond, though his glower deepened at the sound of Anders' name.

_Is Fenris... Jealous?_ Hawke's mind began to spin. She had seen him glaring venomously at Anders on more than one occasion. She had always assumed it was merely due to his obvious distaste for the man. But if he was actually jealous...

Hawke just couldn't resist, "Eh-" she shrugged, smiling devilishly. "I've always been impartial to possessed mages. And besides... he's ears just aren't pointy enough for me."

Fenris' eyes flinched towards her as he snorted back laughter. His cheeks turning a rosy hue as he earnestly smiled. A dense awkward silence filled the room and they both began to fidget nervously, horrified that their gazes might meet.

Hawke was stunned and painfully aware of the sound of her own heavy breathing. Unable to find words that would accurately articulate her current flustered state. Three years. Three long years she had lain awake at night pining for him. Not even daring to hope that she might one day find herself in this situation.

"Fenris-" she finally breathed. Re-situating herself, she folded her legs underneath her and scooted around to face him, mirroring his position. "What is this?"

He took in a sharp breath as his eyes fell into his lap. "I- I'm not sure," he stammered.

Another tense silence fell between them, as she studied him. Fighting to keep what little of her courage remained.

"I'm scared too, you know," Hawke said, her eyes falling nervously to her own lap as she absently examined her fingers nails. "Horrified, really." She laughed mirthlessly. Biting her lip, she carefully allowed her eyes to find the elf's face once more. "I've grown to- I... I care for you, Fenris," said Hawke finally with an exasperated sigh. "The last thing I want to do is scare you away. If you tell me to stop bothering you and to bugger off here and now- I will."

"No, I-"

"You don't want me to bother you?" She quickly supplied, feeling her expression shift as it became almost bereft.

"No, I do!" Fenris managed, his eyes snapping up to look to hers. He appeared as though he felt monumentally uncomfortable. "Maker's breath, Hawke," he breathed, swallowing hard.

They sat there staring at another, letting the silence linger as they both fought inwardly against their better judgments. Several minutes had passed before Hawke courageously lifted a trembling hand towards the elf's face. Fenris closed his eyes as she reached for him. Beginning to breathe loudly, his breaths heavy and even. She barely touched him as she used the backside of her index finger to gingerly trace a line from the tip of his long ear and down the strong line of his jaw. As Hawke's soft finger grazed his skin, he held his breath and shivered. When her hand reached his chin Fenris sighed deeply, and gently took it. Holding her hand to his chest he dared to open his eyes.

Hawke's brilliant, grey eyes stared back at him through the disheveled bangs of her short, pitch black hair. Her cheeks had flushed into the most beautiful shade of pink and her mute red lips were slightly parted. He tentatively reached to her, cupping her delicate chin in his hand and brushing her bottom lip gently with his thumb. Hawke's breath hitched as Fenris continued to hold her chin and gaze at her. His large green eyes glowed as brightly as his lyrium tattoos against his dark skin; filled with an aching hunger that was as strong as her own.

And then Fenris' lips were locked with hers, firm and tender. Holding her eyes closed tight Hawke breathed him in. His heavenly aroma of damp earth and wild pine overwhelming her scenes. The elf's hand softly held her face the entire time his lips were pressed to hers. His sweet affection taking her completely by surprise.

They abruptly parted and Hawke fell forward slightly as he pulled away, averting his gaze. A wave of guilt suddenly washed over her. Hawke was deathly afraid that she had just pushed him too hard.

"I'm sorry," they both breathed in unison.

_What does he have to apologize for?_ Hawke froze, too scared to even blink. She waited for an explanation, as she attempted to keep breathing normally.

"I- I have never allowed anyone too close," he started, thick embarrassment oozing from his every pour. "When my markings were created, the pain was... extraordinary. And the memories linger." He paused, bring his intense stare back to Hawke. His eyes searching hers for understanding.

She finally blinked. Startled by the dawning clarity of what he was trying to say. "Are- are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"If there was someone before, I have no memory of it," he shrugged.

"And... there was no one after you escaped even?" she asked.

"I stayed nowhere for long. Who would I trust?" a slight smile began to take his lips. "I didn't think I needed anyone. Or wanted anyone. Until now." Fenris lifted his hand to her cheek again, his expression filled with desire once more. "You are unlike any woman I have ever met. With you... it might be different."

Hawke was torn between shock and jubilation as she felt the sweet smile on her face turning rather mischievous. She leaned in towards him stopping only when she was inches away from his lips. "We could try it," she whispered seductively, "and find out."

"I- I-" Fenris' eyes had gone unthinkably wide, as he stammered in his gruff voice.

Hawke slumped back laughing as she took his hands and held them in her own. She smiled, looking down at their intertwined fingers. The weight of his hands in hers seemed so natural. Turning her sights back to his, she took a breath "Fenris- I-" she laughed hoarsely. Even after everything, she was still dreadfully nervous. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise you. There is no hurry. I would crawl if I thought it might help."

Fenris' brow raised as he returned her playful smile, "That, I think would only prove to be more distracting," he said wryly.

Her eyes went wide as she raised a hand to mouth, covering it as she began to laugh uncontrollably.

They spent the rest of the evening in much the same fashion. Sitting on the floor in front of the fire until the early hours of the morning sharing their stories and secrets, laughing all the while. Eventually when Hawke began to nod off, Fenris brought her a tattered blanket and they lay together on the floor across from each other. Not daring to touch. But endlessly gazing into one anothers eyes.

When she finally fell asleep, the elf laid awake watching her as she dreamed. He had never been more afraid in his life. Ever instinct in his body was telling him it was time to run. To flee before he could cause any more damage. But the longer he watched her as she peacefully dozed, the more terrifying the idea of losing her became. He had never known such acceptance before Hawke, and yet she gave it freely and without reservation. She gave him trust though he had done nothing to truly deserve it. She gave him time because he desperately needed it. She somehow seemed to care for him despite everything he had done, despite what he was.

Fenris decided then and there that he would do everything he could to learn from her. Learn to reciprocate all of the love and affection she had to offer him. He smiled at that. She deserved nothing less.

* * *

Hawke awoke with a horrible kink in her neck. Her bed seemed much firmer than she remembered and the flimsy blanket that covered her was doing little to keep her warm. Without opening her eyes she groaned and widely stretched out her arms.

She stopped abruptly when her hand brushed up against a solid, warm mass. Hawke suddenly realized that she did not recall going home. The last thing she remembered was laying down in front of the fire and... An anxious knot tied in her throat. Swallowing it down hard, she popped open one eye.

Fenris lying on the floor next to her. Resting on his stomach, with an arm curled under his head for support. The elf was already awake and was carefully watching her with amusement steadily growing on his face.

She clenched her eyes closed tight again, afraid that she might wake from this dream at any moment. Taking in a breath, Hawke slowly opened both of her eyes. Fenris was still lying there. An entertained smile still curling the corners of his lips.

"Can- can you just give me... one minute?" Hawke asked, raising a one finger. She lifted the ragged covers up past her shoulders and over her head. Under the security of the sparse blanket Hawke squirmed and wiggled with ecstatic joy, releasing a horribly girlish squeal. Settling her nerves, she took in a few deep breaths before removing the covers, blowing her shaggy bangs off of her face and sighed. "Sorry," Hawke said, clearing her throat as she feigned complete seriousness. "Couldn't be helped."

"I'll have to take your word on that," Fenris laughed, shaking his head. His large emerald eyes gazed at her with an earnest longing once more.

He sat up, and inched closer to her. Propping himself up with his arm closest to her, he wrapped his other around the top side of Hawke's head and gingerly traced his fingers through her hair. Gently wrapping a few stray strands behind her ear and keeping his eyes locked down with hers.

Hawke felt herself holding breath as the elf continued to twirl pieces of her hair between his fingers. No matter how hard she tried, she could not prevent the goosebumps that sprouted up all over her arms.

Fenris' brow suddenly furrowed, and his face contorted with sweet anguish. "I- I fear- I cannot," he started, turning his face away as he closed his eyes and sighed before returning his gaze. A fierce determination settled over him, "I cannot say what tomorrow may bring," he breathed harshly. "But I swear. All that you give me... I will learn to give you in return."

Hawke felt her eyes sting with un-shed tears as she gaped at him. A smile growing so broad across her face that her cheeks felt as though they might tare. "Fenris," she whispered playfully and laughed. "I do believe you are a romantic. Will you be speaking to me in verse? I do love a bit of verse."

Fenris chuckled and raised an eyebrow "Don't start expecting to receive flowers on a regular basis or anything," he deadpanned.

"Maker, no. Although... a new set of daggers would be a far more romantic and practical gesture."

They laughed together and lost themselves in each others eyes. Neither of them wanting the moment to end.

Suddenly they heard the front door of the mansion open and close. "Hey elf!" Varric shouted as he entered.

They both abruptly sat up, their clothes and hair disheveled from the night spent on the floor. Hawke's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Varric?" she asked. The dwarf being there this time of day was odd, and something began to nag at her from the back of her mind. Then her eyes went wide, as she threw her hands over her face and quickly rose to her feet. "Oh shit! Sod it! Andraste's ass!" She continued to swear oaths as Varric appeared in the doorway and coolly leaned against it's frame.

"You kiss your mother with that mouth, Hawke?" Varric asked with wicked glee as he stared at the scene that lay before him. "Sooo- what have you kids been up to?"

Fenris ignored him as he rose, his attention still fixed on Hawke. "What is it?" He asked.

"I was suppose to meet him and Anders in the Alienage ages ago," she said with agitation, pointing a thumb to the dwarf and began struggling with her belt and daggers.

"Blondie was in quite the state when I left him," Varric said his mischievous smirk widening, "He was _**so**_ worried about you. And was non-to-happy being left with poor ol'Daisy."

"Wait," Hawke said, looking to the dwarf. An amused smile curving her lips. "You left those two alone together?"

"So we're going to the Alienage to pick up their ashes?" Fenris asked Hawke raising his eyebrows as his traditional scowl returned.

"Not entirely alone. Ariani and Keeper Marethari are with them. Besides someone had to come and find you," Varric added, casting quizzical glances between the two of them.

"Keeper Marethari?" Hawke asked in surprise, ignoring his questioning look.

"Something about needing to send you into the Fade?" Varric said with disinterest. "We should get going. We don't need Daisy summoning up any demons to defend herself against Anders and the Keeper," he said turning to head for the door. He paused, throwing Hawke another sidelong smile, "We should stop by the Hanged Man first, though. Let you two do the walk of shame for Rivaini- she'll owe me thirty sovereigns."

As he walked away Hawke rubbed her brow and Fenris put a hand to the back of his neck. Both of their faces turning bright red as an embarrassed silence engulfed the room.

_Wonderful, _Hawke thought._ There placing bets on my love life, now._ Clearing her throat she shrugged and smiled wryly at Fenris. "Well," she sighed, "The Fade, huh? Care to tag along? I'm sure nothing could _**possibly**_ go wrong."

Hawke headed out of the room without giving him a chance to respond. She didn't need to. A few moments later, the three of them were all on their way back towards the stairs that would lead them to Lowtown.


	8. Dwarves Are a Girl's Best Friend

**AUTHORS NOTES: **Again, I probably could have had this posted much earlier in the week but I just kept going. SO- as before there should be another post sometime later today or tomorrow. I was determined to get some good'ol Varric time, and before I knew it I had over 3,000 words. And I had STILL not actually gotten us into the Fade... Oops. Much of the adventure in the Fade has been written for weeks- but I just keep finding things I want to add.

**Another shout out of recognition to cellotlix: To Be Free - Thank you for the Inspiration!  
**

**MY REVIEWERS:** Thank you, thank you, thank you. I think no matter what- I would have decided to see this project through. But knowing you're out there has definitely kept my motivation running high, and has made my self imposed weekend deadlines carry a lot more weight.

More to come very soon!

* * *

**CHAPTER 8**

Hawke stood at the top of the rustic, stone staircase leading into the Alienage with Varric and Fernis close behind her. Looking down the steps she sighed and smiled warily, watching Anders as he leaned against the great tree at the heart of the elven square.

He was absently chewing on his fingernails with his eyes glazed over. Deep within his own thoughts. Clearly ignoring every word of what Merrill was rambling on about. The lanky elf sat beside him on a large rickety, wooden crate bouncing her heels as she chatted away.

"Who knighted him?" Merrill asked beaming at him with a tooth achingly, sweet innocents. Her feet continued to drum against the crate.

Anders shook his head, looking startled and confused as he came back to attention. "What?"

"Ser Pounce-a-lot, who knighted him?" She repeated, still smiling serenely.

"Is... is that a serious question?" Anders replied, his eyebrows furrowed with exasperation as he gawked at her.

"Uh! Did he have a little sword," Merrill illustrated by squeezing her thumb and forefinger close together without touching. Her expression turning mischievous she brought both her hands up mimicking cat claws and swatting at the air, "Or just his claws? I bet he had a dashing cap with a feather in it!" She finished with a squeal, clapping her hands to her cheeks.

"Would you stop making fun of my cat?" the mage asked. With his hand over his face, he began to firmly rub his temple.

"Oh..." Merrill frowned, her entire body and ears drooping with defeat, "No hat, then?" Her eyes cast away from Anders mournfully, and landed on Hawke and the others as they headed down the steps. Merrill's spirits instantly lifted and she waved at them enthusiastically. "Hawke!"

Anders' head snapped toward the stairs at the sound of Hawke's name and he sighed with relief when his eyes fell upon her's. He allowed the tension to release from his shoulders as he briskly approached them.

"Hawke," he breathed. "Thank the Maker- where have you been?"

Fenris and Hawke exchanged a nervous glance as Varric excitedly raised a hand to interject. Luckily for them, Anders was too riled up to notice and plowed forward.

"It's Feynriel-" he said with a frightful urgency, his eyes still intently fixed on Hawke. "He has been trapped in a nightmare for more than two days. Held there by demons-"

Trying for once to remain serious and focus on the situation at hand, Hawke rolled in her lips as an attempt to suppress a snort of laughter. Varric's dramatically feigned disappointment was almost heart-wrenching. She elbowed him playfully and he grumbled sourly, folding his arms across his chest once more. Though he was clearly trying to frown, the dwarf could not keep the smirk from spreading across his face.

* * *

_On their way to the Alienage, Varric doggedly attempted to get them to take a detour to the Hanged Man. Eager to parade Hawke and Fenris' "blossoming romance" as he called it, in front of Isabella and lay claim his thirty sovereigns. _

_Hawke wasn't sure what the exact wager was, and she didn't care. Neither she nor Fenris was in any hurry to live out that horrifying fantasy. After Varric had begun to talk them both through how he would victoriously, prolong Isabella's lose as long as possible, a sly smile touched Hawke's lips. _

_Catching the elf's eye she gave him a conspiratorial wink. "Varric, I hate to bust your bubble- but we really are just friends," she explained smoothly. Turning her expression to one of sympathetic understanding. "We were just polishing off the last bottle of the Aggerigo. I had too much to drink, puked out the window and I passed out on floor. It's that simple," she finished with a dispassionate shrug. _

"_Oh, bullshit!" Varric laughed viciously, swinging around to face her and placing both of his balled fists to his sides. Hawke raised her hands in appeasement and unscrupulously grinned, stepping back away from the dwarf glaring up at her. _

"_I-it's true," Fenris chimed in with a stammer. "We're just friends."_

"_Come off it, Broody," Varric waved dismissively as he continued to determinedly head for the Hanged Man. "You two are always together. __**You**__ are always staring at her when she's not looking. And sometimes you even have the nugs to do it while she is."_

_Hawke quickly turned her face away as she tried to hide her blushing cheeks. She hadn't been aware of that little fact._

"_And?" Fenris responded coolly, before braving a quick look at Hawke and giving her an earnest smile._

"_That! Right there!" Varric pointed at the elf agitatedly as he spoke. "Bianca has never been this suspicious. She knows something is going on with you two."_

_Hawke snorted. _

_Fenris shook his head with mounting impatiences, "Our lives are none of __**her**__ concern," he snarled._

"_HA! You said "our"!" the dwarf threw both fists into the air with triumphant glee. He bowed and waved his hands nobly to his imaginary disciples._

_Hawke laughed brightly before coyly putting her hands behind her back and staring down at her feet. Drawing a circles on the ground with her toe. "My dear Varric- We are already so terribly late." She fixed her sites on Varric with a sincere smile. "How about I pay you the thirty sovereigns from your wager?" She added genuinely. She began to take her small leather purse from her belt and pulled its strings to open it. _

_Varric scuffed and put up a hand, refusing her coin with a theatrically roll of his eyes._

"_I'll tell you what-" Hawke laughed, putting a gentle hand on the dwarfs shoulder. "Let us get to Arianni's and later I might just feel self loathing enough to allow you and Isabella to have a few dozens laughs at my expense," Hawke offered with a wry smile. _

_Varric crossed his arms tightly across his chest and pouted. "Sure- just take all the fun out of it, why don't you." _

_Bending down to the dwarf's ear Hawke whispered, "Thank you, Varric," and placed a gentle, heartfelt kiss on his cheek. Rising, she smiled broadly at him._

"_If it was anyone else, Hawke," the dwarf said with quiet bemusement. Refusing to make eye contact with her as he scowled and shook his head._

"_I know," she said with a merry shrug. Walking with great haste, she grabbed Fenris by the arm and pulled him along. Shamelessly making her way past the Hanged Man and to the Alienage with the dwarf following faithfully behind them._

* * *

"Marethari wishes to perform some sort of ancient ritual that will you send into the Fade," Anders continued solemnly. Suddenly noticing their awkward exchange he tilted his head to one side. Raising an eyebrow as he looked from Varric to Hawke in confusion.

The dwarf beamed with smug satisfaction. While Hawke cleared her throat, pretending to nonchalantly gaze up at the clouds. Fenris stared down at the ground fidgeting and shuffling his feet.

Anders brow furrowed as his gaped at three of them. "Did I miss something?"

"Oh- I don't think so," Merrill said helpfully with a shrug, "The Keeper really didn't say much else-"

Hawke, Varric and even Fenris snickered with laughter as they watched Anders face transition into a raging red. With his veins popping out of his forehead, he cut the sweet elf off mid sentence. "For the Maker's sake, Merrill! Are you truly that-"

"Oh, thank the creators!" Came a relieved and weary voice.

Hawke turned just in time to receive Arianni's tight, welcoming embrace. "I was hoping you would come," the elven woman breathed as she pulled back, holding Hawke's shoulders. "Please, there isn't much time. My Feynriel-" Arianni hiccuped passed a dry sob. She meekly brought both of her hands to her face, attempting to calm herself. "Keeper Marethari says his lips still fog a mirror but... that is all."

Hawke felt her heart plunge into her stomach as she looked at Arianni's grief ridden face. A cloud of thick guilt passing over her. It was less than three years ago when Varric, Hawke and Bethany had saved Feynriel.

In the young mage's frantic attempt to escape the Templar's grasp, he had instead been captured by slavers. Hawke had managed to track the boy down to a cave off the Wounded Coast.

When they found him, Varric and Hawke artfully talked circles around the simple minded slavers. Convincing them that Feynriel just happened to be the Viscount's illegitimate love child, that he swore to protect no matter what. And wouldn't it be a shame to have Free March's entire army descend upon them? It was beautiful. Those nug-licker's had stumbled all over themselves apologizing to the boy. The slavers paid them all the gold coin they had on hand, as an offer of peace.

From there, the plan had been to take Feynriel back to his mother. Where he would have to say his final farewells before being sent off to the Circle. Even Bethany saw the logic in it. Without any kind of training the boy would just become a bigger danger to himself and everyone around him.

As it turned out, Feynriel had his own ideas. Before he had been nabbed by slavers he was trying to find a way to Sundermount. From his little understanding of his Dalish roots, he knew that the clans had been practicing magic for centuries. He hoped that they could teach him.

Upon hearing this, Bethany was immediately in favor of helping Feynriel. Insisting they aide her fellow, young mage in reaching the mountains. Hawke couldn't blame her. In fact both she and Varric were pleasantly surprised. It was a good plan.

Feynriel could be trained free from the Circle and find relative safety among the Dalish. Arianni would certainly be happy. The Templars would be none-the-wiser and they could collect some more coin in the process. Everybody would win. It was perfect...

Now, it seemed as though Feynriel might have been better off in the Circle after all. Hawke brushed a disgruntled hand through her hair. She felt entirely responsible for boys current circumstances and it was now her duty to do everything she could to help him... But she was no mage. How was she suppose to be of any help in the Fade?

She sighed deeply before returning her gaze to Arianni and gave the poor woman a small smile. "Whatever you need, Arianni. I am here. Just- tell me what I must do."

"It truly was the creators that put you in the Alienage that day," Arianni said breathlessly. Tears of gratitude streaming down her tattooed face. Without another word she took Hawke's hand and lead her into a stone hovel. Her companions not far behind.

A half an hour later Hawke was standing in the corner of Arianni's cramped home, alone with Keeper Marethari. Leaning her back against the wall with one arm across her chest and a hand pinching the bridge of her nose. The Keeper stood there quiet and patiently waiting for Hawke to make a decision.

"Is there really no other way? That is Feynriel's greatest fear," Hawke let out an exasperated laugh. Releasing her nose in order to gawk at the Keeper's face. "I don't want to be the one to make that come true," she said helplessly. Her eyes twitched to the other side of the room.

All of her friends were huddled together by the hovel door. Speaking in voices so low that they barely reached Hawke's ears. While Arianni sat in a poorly crafted wooden chair beside them. Alone in her thoughts, as she stared off into the distance.

"Feynriel cannot become an abomination," the Keeper warned. "The destruction he would cause is unimaginable. If you cannot save him from the demons- you must kill him yourself," Marethari's tone was grave, but her expression was neutral.

Hawke shook her head as she cast her eyes to her feet. She hated cold equations.

Killing Feynriel in the Fade would not end his life in the real world- but it would make him a tranquil. A fate that all mages feared worse than death. If however, Feynriel was to become possessed... it was best not to think about.

Malcolm Hawke had done a fantastic job in scaring the blight of his children when it came to dealing with demons and spirits. Demons on their own were bad enough, a demon that managed to possess a mage was far worse.

A somniari mage, a dreamer- none had survived for over two ages, to the benefit of all. Feynriel's powers enabled him to shape the Fade and even the world around him. A demon with that power at their disposal would be unstoppable. Hawke knew that her father and Bethany would not like the decision they would inevitably reach. But they would do what must be done.

Sighing once more she slowly nodded before whispering, "I will not let him become a danger."

The Keeper respectfully bowed her head. "I wish you luck, human. Now, gather your team and we shall begin," with that, the Keeper hurried over to Arianni and whispered in her ear. Startling her, and bring her back to the present. She nodded and quickly rose and together the two elven women began to bustle about. Moving stray objects and furniture out of the way.

Varric, Fenris, Anders and Merrill all stood back from the action and looked to Hawke. Waiting for her to fill them in. She bore a large false smile as she wandered back to her companions. "Well," she drawled, pausing to look at each of them individually. "Who wants to go on an exciting trip into the Fade?"

None of them moved. They all just stood there staring at her with dazed confusion.

"Please- don't all jump in at once..." Hawke said dryly. Genuinely beginning to fear that she might be going on this little adventure alone.

They each flinched, as if abruptly being woken from a long sleep.

"What did Marethari tell you?" Anders breathed.

Hawke released the breath she had been holding and meekly smiled with relief. "Feynriel is fighting for his life and the only way to save him is to enter the Fade. Apparently the Keeper doesn't want me to go on this suicide mission alone. But there is only enough lyrium for four of us to participate in the ritual. Someone will have to stay behind," she finished, waiting as they all exchanged anxious looks.

Anders was the first to step forward. His intense gaze searching her own as he took both her hands in his. "I worry what a journey to the Fade might bring out in me," he swallowed hard as his eyes darted to to the ground. Taking a deep breath, he continued, "But I would not recommend going into the Fade without me."

"Why's that?" Fenris snarled from behind the mage. His arms were crossed as he glared at Anders with distrust.

Turning his head over his shoulder Anders glared right back at him. "Because," he growled before returning his eyes to Hawke and allowing his scowl to melt. "I have traveled to the Fade as more than a dreamer. I would never let you do this alone," he added softly. Anders squeezed her hands and smiled. He moved to join the Keeper in her preparations.

Hawke grinned and silently chuckled, watching as Fenris dramatically rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Merrill timidly rose her hand. "Can I come? I would love to see the ritual," she said candidly. "And I- I promise I won't be a bother."

Hawke stared at her. Searching Merrill's sweet face quizzically for any clue that might make sense of Merrill's juxtaposing personality traits.

_For a blood mage, she certainly has that helplessly angelic act down pat_, she thought. Speechless, Hawke nodded and gestured with her arm to the others.

Merrill excitedly clapped her hands before scurrying over to Arianni's side. She handed Merrill a bed roll and they both set to work rolling them out on the floor. Arranging them in a semi circle.

Varric, Fenris and Hawke all stood briefly silent. Fidgeting with their nerves raw. A journey to the Fade was not a welcoming idea to any of them.

"Well- How about it Fenris?" Hawke asked, her voice sounding far shakier than she had hoped. She breathlessly laughed at herself and smiled. "You coming along?"

"I have no desire to explore the Fade," he quickly retorted. His eyes fixed suspiciously on the mages as they finished with their preparations. "It is a place for Mages- not for people like you and I."

"O-oh," she managed crestfallen. Her brow furrowed as the color drained from her face.

"But-" said the elf, a clever twinkle in his eye and mute, pink hue shading his cheek. "If you need me, I remain at your side," he whispered, smiling softly.

Hawke's eyes bulged with startled merriment. She loudly laughed and lightheartedly punched Fenris in his shoulder. His sly smile broadened with delight at the sound of her laughter.

"Now- that was impressive. I think I'm rubbing off on you," she said pointing an accusing finger at the elf. Feigning a thoughtful expression, she held her chin. "Hmmm... I am starting to believe that I might be a very, horrible influence."

"You, Hawke?" asked Varric with mock surprise. Beginning to chuckle.

"Never," Fenris answered.

They all laughed. And as they did a bit of the tension and fear that was gripping the three of them seemed to drain from the room.

"I guess that means, I'm staying here then," Varric said. With both a hint of relief and disappointment on the edge of his voice. He shrugged and smiled wryly at Hawke, "Someone should stay with Arianni anyway. I doubt the Keeper has much to offer in terms of bedside manner."

"I'm sure she will appreciate that-" Hawke said grinnin. "You could try distracting her with manly chest hair. That usually works doesn't it?"

"Women can never resist my chest hair," he answered, sighing dramatically. "It's a curse."

Hawke laughed as Fenris scuffed and rolled his eyes as he turned to join the others. Hawke went to follow the elf when she froze. Struck with a sudden, bizarre realization. She flicked her gaze back to the dwarf, considering him carefully. A frown taking the place of her previous mirth.

"What's the matter?" Varric asked, his smile fading away with his growing concern.

Fenris paused. Looking back to Hawke, his expression mirroring Varric's.

"Oh- nothing- it's just-" she blushed, and fixed her eyes on her boots. Deeply embarrassed by her own behavior. She reached up, nervously rubbing the back of her neck as she tried to find the words she was looking for. "I just realized this is the first time you're not tagging along for a job since... well, since we met." Hawke's frown grew deeper and she could not bring herself to look up at her friend.

The dwarf stood in stunned surprise. Appearing to be speechless for the first time in his life.

Fenris looked on with interested curiosity. His intense eyes steadily shifting from Hawke to Varric in amusement.

Hawke obnoxiously cleared her throat and laughed restlessly. "Three solid years with my dependable ol'dwarf at my side," she said, her standard mischievous smirk returning to her delicate features. She theatrically fanned her face to dry her imagined tears. "How in the name of the Maker, will I ever survive without you?"

Varric laughed heartily, shaking his head and staring at her with admiration. "Oh don't go getting teary eyed with me, Hawke. You know I can't stand to see a human cry."

Hawke shyly smiled as Fenris gently touched her elbow. Both reluctantly turning to the group of mages.

"Hawke-" Varric interrupted. His expression uncharacteristically serious. "Do me a favor. Just be careful in there, alright? I don't want to have to come in after you and rescue your crazy ass."

Looking at the dwarf from over her shoulder, Hawke laughed. "A dangerous, teenage mage? Demons? Abominations? Pfft. Might as well be going on holiday."

"And elf- If you let anything happen to her," Varric added with an ominous scowl. He swung his beloved crossbow from off his back, holding it up for Fenris' benefit. "Bianca will be holding you accountable... and let me tell you. My Bianca knows how to hold a grudge."

Fenris paused, looking back at the dwarf blank faced. They intently studied each other. Without taking his eyes of Varric's, Fenris nodded his head once in acknowledgment.

Varric slowly returned the gesture.

Starring at the elf and dwarf, Hawke positively beamed at them. She had never trusted anyone as much as she trusted the two of them. And if she could help it, she would never be parted from either.

"Hawke?" Anders said, seeking her attention. When Hawke's eyes reached his, he slightly smiled and offered her his hand. "We're ready."

On the floor there were four tattered, straw mats lain in a vague crescent shape. Marethari stood front and center. Her arms held behind her straight back as she impassively looked at Hawke. Arianni stood off to the side her hands pressed gently to her lips as she stared at the strange scene that lay before her.

Merrill was seated cross legged on one of the end bedrolls. Hunched over with her elbows resting on her knees. She was smiling up at them, with a giddy anticipation. Causing Hawke to shift uncomfortably.

"Here we go," she whispered to Fenris through gritted teeth. Taking Anders outstretched hand, she let him lead her the center. She slowly sat down on the floor and closed her eyes as she focused on steadying her breathing.

Anders squatted down next her as he removed his long coat. Folding it in half twice, before he placed it at the head of Hawke's straw pad. She sighed and smiled appreciatively at his simple gesture.

"Everything will be alright," he said softly.

"Right," Hawke said unconvincingly. She blinked as she stared absently at the dirt floor.

Anders softly took Hawke's chin in his hand and lifted it slightly. Forcing their eyes to meet. He smiled reassuringly before seating himself directly to her right. He swung his legs onto his mat and laid back calmly with his eyes closed.

"Thank you, Anders," she said with a detached grin.

"Tread carefully travelers, for all will face temptation," said Keeper Marethari gravely. She came to stand at the foot of their mats, her long rustic staff in hand. "Let us begin."

Hawke took one last cleansing breath before swinging her legs around on to her straw mat and slowly laying back, resting her head gently on Anders lumpy coat. Marethari closed her eyes and began to methodically wave her staff over them. Speaking the ancient Dalish words slowly and with great serenity.

"Oh Maker-" Hawke breathed, "What have I gotten myself into?" Hawke shut her eyes and clenched her fist closed tight at her sides, her body beginning to tremble with fear. "Andraste guide me."

There were suddenly rough fingers gently wrapping themselves with hers. She popped open her eyes and looked down past her left shoulder. Fenris' lyruim scarred hand was clutching hers. With her eyes she traced the line of his strong, arm to find his beautiful, angled face looking straight at her. The slightest of smiles curved his lips as he squeezed her hand.


	9. The Fade Part 1

**AUTHORS NOTES: **As promised- FINALLY! We are in the Fade. This had been the most fun chapter to write thus far and I certainly hope it's been worth the wait! There is some pretty big diversions from the plot- so hang tight!

**Shout outs to cellotlix: To Be Free & Kristanci: ****Out of the Fade and Into Your Heart**  


**_Part 2 coming soon!_**

* * *

**CHAPTER 9**

There was a flash of blinding light and suddenly Hawke was stumbling forward. Wildly swinging her arms as she began to fall to the ground. Just before her knees were about to make brutal contact with stone floor, a sturdy hand grabbed Hawke by the elbow and pulled her firmly back onto her feet

"Phew," Hawke sighed, as she hunched over. Supporting herself with her hands gripping the tops of her knees. Everything she saw was distorted and fuzzy. Closing her eyes tight she shook head, trying to reorient herself.

They appeared to be standing in a corridor, in some sort of fortress. Large cold stones covered the space from the walls to the floors. But the ceiling... there was no ceiling. It was completely void. A thick blackness that seemed to go on forever, with what looked like green fireflies dancing feverishly within it's vast depths.

Hanging her head limply, Hawke finally opened her eyes. They landed directly on Anders familiar tall, black leather boots.

_Saved by the mage, yet again_, she thought wearily as she slowly began to straighten. "Thank you, And- AH!" Hawke snapped her mouth shut as her startled, wide eyes settled on Anders.

He was standing militantly straight, calmly examining his surrounds. A strange iridescent glow engulfed him and a shining blue light glared from his eyes. Hiding all traces of their normal vibrant, hazel.

"I had not thought to return in such a way," his now harsh, stoic voice seemed to echo unnaturally. "It is good to feel the breathe of the Fade again, not the empty air of your world."

"Let me guess-" Hawke said grimacing slightly. "You must be Justice."

"Yes- Anders has told you of me," he barked impatiently. Removing Anders' staff from his back. He cautiously began to walk down the long forsaking hallway. "Come, I sense Feynriel's mind straining. We do not have much time."

Hawke watched transfixed as Justice maneuvered Anders' body. It was unnerving. Naturally, he still looked like Anders. And supposedly it was still... But his current low posture and defensive movements were so unlike the mage she had grown to trust. She shivered.

"I must say. I'm _**really**_ starting to miss the Deep Roads," Hawke moaned. She reassuringly rested her hands on the helts of her daggers, before turning her head to find Merrill and Fenris coming up along side her. Both watching the spirit as intently as she had.

"Wonderful," Fenris spatt, his face contorting as if there was an unpleasant taste in his mouth. "I'm stuck in a realm of dreams and magic, accompanied by two mages. One a possessed fool and the other a blood mage at that," he stated miserably.

Merrill frowned at Fenris. "You know, my clan didn't believe in me- if you won't believe in me either, I won't mind." She walked passed him, letting her shoulder roughly bump into the brooding elf as she followed after Justice.

"You offered," Hawke said to Fenris, with a shrug and rye smile.

"I did," he responded with deepening annoyance. "Something else to add to the list of things I appear to be willing to do for you."

"Awww, that was almost sweet," she whined as she placed a hand to her chest and batted her eyelashes. Hawke began to swagger towards Justice, as she peered over her shoulder at the elf. Giving him a wicked smile. "Too bad it was so full of bitterness." She paused, silently laughing at the site of Fenris' guilt ridden fidgeting. She turned back to him and tentatively rested a hand on his forearm. He raised his eyes to hers, and her expression soften. "I am grateful," Hawke admitted sweetly. "Thank you, Fenris."

The elf smirked at her before shyly averting his gaze.

"Why do we linger?" Justice growled, as he stood waiting near the end of the passageway. "Let us act while we still can."

They both momentarily gawked at the hot tempered spirit. Hawke sighed as she nodded her head towards Justice. "You heard the stick in the mud. Lets not keep the grumpy spirit waiting, shall we?"

When they reached the end of the hallway, Justice was the first to approach the large wooden door. He rested his glowing hand on it's tarnished knob, "I since a demon is near. Be on your guard," he warned as he cautiously pushed it open.

It was strange, but this world vaguely reminded Hawke of the Gallows. It appeared that they had entered the main hall of the structure. There was a large, wide stairwell that descended to a lower level. Across from them was a massive metal gate, and the two masoned, walls on either of its sides both had foreboding, aged wooden doors. The cavernous hall was closed off and empty, but gusts of wind still somehow managed to howl through the passage.

"Everything here is cold, hard stone," Merrill sighed, as she nervously looked around. "Makes me wish I'd worn shoes with soles, now." She abruptly gasped and jumped. Ducking behind and peeking her head just over Hawke's shoulder, when a hollow booming voice echoed throughout the hall.

"Be ready," Hawke said in a low tone. Flipping her blades from their sheaths, she prepared to begin her aggressive acrobatic dance. Her comrades followed suit, putting their weapons in hand.

"Well, well... it's rare to see two forgotten magics in one day," said the ghostly voice. A dark pool of mist formed in the center of the room. Beginning to rise and shift, a lax shape emerged. A demon. The body had no defining features save for a large, dark lidless eye that stared at Hawke. "It's usually a slow, place the Fade, not many surprises. I wasn't sure I'd like this one... but it has potential."

Hawke began to feel strange as her eyelids grew heavy. Her fingers loosened around her daggers, and she felt like sitting, relaxing. She wanted nothing more than to lay down and take a good, long nap.

"A demon of sloth," Justice warned. "It exists to make men forget their purpose and their pride- do not relax around it."

"Yes," Merrill agreed. Breathing heavily as she determinedly hopped in place. "You must think active thoughts like running and jumping and such!"

"Well, I suppose that makes sense..." Hawke drawled, gawking Merrill. She vigorously shook her head before blinking and forcing her eyes to stay wide open.

"Call me Torpo," the demon stated calmly. "I have a proposition that might interest you."

Justice hurriedly stepped beside Hawke and held his staff in front of her. As if to physically hold her back temptation. "Don't listen to him. Sloth demons prey on your trust."

Hawke leaned back on one foot studying the beast. "Speak," she commanded sternly, "But I promise nothing."

"Hawke," Fenris looked at her aghast, "This- thing, only wishes to lure you in if it can."

Ignoring the elf completely, Torpor continued. "I trust you're here for the mage, Feynriel? Two of the most powerful demons in this realm are vying for control of him. Sadly," the demon released a long discouraged sigh, "I am no warrior. I couldn't stand up to them. But-" Torpor painstakingly raised an arm and pointed a long crooked finger at Hawke. "You could. Bring me the boy. I only want his power to secure my position in the Fade. I would be no threat to your world," the demon added smoothly.

"What can you tell me about these powerful friends of yours?" Hawke asked casually.

"There is a demon of desire, called Caress. She ensnares him in dreams of bliss from which he will not emerge," the sloth demon explained. "The other is a creature of pride, known as Wryme. It offers Feynriel the power to control his life and world."

"So, what?" asked Hawke, her eyebrows furrowing with disgust. "You want my help so you can possess Feynriel? And what will stop you from attacking Kirkwall if I do so?"

"We are drawn to the mortal realm to merge with a living soul. Once I've done so, what need will I have for your people? I merely want power against my own kind," Torpor bemoaned sorrowfully.

"This is a monster," Justice said with undisguised distrust. "It asks you to sacrifice an innocent to its ambition! Do not work with this creature. I will stop you," he raised Anders' staff to Hawke's eyeline. Reminding her that he still held it just inches away.

"Ignore this tiresome little spirit," Torpor hissed bitterly. "I ask only what it has already taken, a willing merger with a human host."

Justice began to glow even brighter and his face curdled with rage. His knuckles turned pure white as he tightly clutched Anders' staff.

"Gee- thanks for all of your helpful information," Hawke said merrily with a mocking smile. "Unfortunately I just don't parlay with demons. It's a personal preference, but... I would like very much to keep my soul intact."

"Have it your way," Torpor sighed. Raising his ghostly arms from his and drawing in a dark powerful magic.

Without another word- Hawke playfully threw one of her blades into the air before confidently catching it's handle. With graceful precision, she launched the dagger through the air and it plunged deep, dead center into the demon's forehead.

The Fade then came alive with demons and shades. They spilled from windows and walls as if they had been waiting for this meal, for these scraps.

Fenris drew his sword and propelled himself into the thick of them, spinning and swinging with all the force he could muster. His lyrium scorched skin blazing, with a disconcerting effect. Hawke battled a shade fiercely, her daggers flashing and behind them Justice was shouting spells, calling out challenges. Merrill spun her staff through the air, with red electrical currents surging from her arms up it's length. Occasionally slamming it's end into the ground.

"Just fall already, you blighter!" Merrill yelled in her sweet voice.

With a shouted invocation, Justice hurled a ball of fire toward the clustered shades, and Hawke only cartwheeled out of the way just in time. It connected perfectly, obliterating the shades into nothing more than wisps of shadow and flame.

They all stood silently, with their weapons still in hand. Waiting to see if more shades or demons would pop out of thin air. After several moments with nothing happening, they all groaned in collective relief.

"Well, Justice," said Hawke turning to face the spirit inhabiting Anders' body as she re-sheathed her trusty daggers. "Care to tell me what we're suppose to do from here?"

"The battle for this Dreamer's mind is behind these doors," Justice said gesturing with his head toward one of the wooden doors on the side wall. "The demons weave illusions for Feynriel. You must help him reject it. But be cautious," he warned, staring at Hawke with his terrifying glowing eyes. "Shatter the dream too quickly, and his mind will break. He must reach the realization on his own."

"So no pressure then," Hawke sighed, pouting her lower lip and shaking her head. "Might as well see what's behind door number one," she added in a dry voice as she walked towards the door closest to them. Seemingly undaunted.

"We're with you, Hawke," Merrill said brightly from behind her.

The moment she touched the doorknob, she felt her body being pulled into the room. A white light blinded her and a wave of magic surged over her body.

From behind her she heard Fenris roar with outrage. "HAWKE! No! I will not allow it!"

When the light faded, Hawke was alone in front of what appeared to be a young Feynriel at a writing desk. A man was coaching him, his father perhaps, as the boy transcribed a letter.

Feynriel looked up at his father with eager, innocent eyes. "Will I be able to go with you to Antiva, father?"

Hawke felt her face twist with anger. How dare these demons torment this poor child.

"Feynriel, no," she said, with someone elses voice.

It was Arianni's. She quickly held her hands out and front of her face to find that they were no longer her own. The demon's vision had apparently transformed her into Feynriel's mother.

"Alrighty then," she breathed, her hands trembling as she carefully put that back at her side.

"Mother?" Feynriel asked, his eyebrows raised with confusion.

_I am definitely not your mother,_ Hawke thought. Her gut was telling her to just go up the boy and give him a good shake, not stopping until he snapped out of it. She closed her eyes, breathing deeply as she reminded herself to take this nice and slow.

"This is a trick, Feynriel. He wants something from you," she pleaded.

"Wha- why would you..." Feynriel paused. His eyebrows coming tightly together as he studied his mother. "That- that's right! I spent my whole childhood waiting for you."

"Your mother never allowed-" the man started in a thick Orlesian accent.

"No! My mother loves me- she showed me the letters she wrote you," Feynriel accused with growing confidence. "You never wrote back. I've never met you before... Who are you?"

The strange man began to glow and awkwardly convulse. "Don't... question..." said the creature now with a woman's voice. The Demon of Desire, Caress transformed into her true self. "...me," she hissed. She was nearly naked with scales, twisting horns and a long tail.

The small boy ran out of the room, screaming. Caress turned her yellow, glowing eyes on Hawke as she returned to her former self and her comrades miraculously reappeared. Hawke grinned widely at the site of her friends.

"You turned him against me," the demon snarled.

"Complete accident," said Hawke with her expression turning roguish. "I was trying to help. Honest."

"You took my pet," it said, glaring at Hawke. "Now, I shall take something of yours. How loyal are these friends you've brought into the Fade? What do you say, my handsome elf?"

"Cast your eyes elsewhere demon," Fenris spatt.

Hawke flashed him a quick approving smile.

The half naked monster slowly wagged her tail, while seductively grazing a hand over her breast and down her side. "You desire a place to belong, do you not? What if I give you the one called Danarius and rid you of the scars that bind your body? No longer will you be chained to your past. You will be free. And she will be safe."

Caress' words tore at Hawke's heart. _She will be safe? He's afraid Danarius will hurt me. _Hawke froze, slowly removing her eyes from the creatures face and fixing them on the elf's.

"Fenris?" she breathed.

_He truly cares for me that much? _She thought gaping at him. Hawke couldn't think of a worse way of discovering that the man she had been infatuated with for so long, felt exactly the same way about her. She would have been touched if the demon wasn't contorting and twisting those feelings into something viel.

Fenris' eyes were still locked on Caress. His breathing was shallow and labored, the inner struggle he fought was written all over his face... and he was losing. Hawke stood by his side, watching him with a steady sense of mounting horror. She took in a sharp hissing breath as the elf stepped gingerly towards the monster_**. **_

"Wh-what would you want from me?" he asked. His expression going slack and the vibrant green of his eyes somehow becoming duller by the second.

The demon floated to Fenris, placing her hands on his shoulders and turning him to face Hawke. The elf's eyes were now blood red and glowed eerily.

"All I ask for- is a moment of your time, dearest," Caress said manipulatively as she wrapped an arm around the front of his chest and rested her chin on Fenris' shoulder. Tilting her head slightly as she eyed Hawke with a malicious smile. "You can keep no secrets from me," she cooed into Fenris' ear. "If you rid of them quickly, my sweet, I will give you the one you desire most."

Hawke blinked and began to back away slowly. There was very little room for mistaking the meaning of the phrase: _"rid of them quickly"_. Still, she was not fully ready to admit to herself that she was going to have to do this.

"Typical," she grumbled with irritation. Unsheathing her daggers hesitantly before holding them limp at her sides. "One romantic evening, and we already trying to kill each other."

Her eyes went wide as Fenris swung his greatsword around off his shoulders. Using the momentum of his movement, he aimed his mighty swing diagonally, intending to slice Hawke cleanly in two. From the top of her waist and all the way through to the pit of her opposing arm.

"Fenris, stop!" Hawke shouted as she ducked and spun away from him. She felt a strong rush of air as the elf's blade whizzed by the top of her head.

Justice and Merrill dashed forward to Caress, ready to attack, when shades began to pour from the walls. They both instantly began casting powerful spells as they fended off.

"Strike him down!" Justice commanded.

Hawke scrambled further back, not daring to take her eyes off Fenris. She had an advantage, she knew his fighting style better than anyone else. Watching him as he swiftly raised his huge blade to his right, she knew that he was going to be making a powerful left swing and thrust. She quickly moved to duck under his raised arms from the right. Her hope was to simply get behind the elf and to somehow hold him back without killing him. As she did, Fenris' elbow stroke her firmly between her shoulder blades, knocking her down to the ground and stealing her breath away.

"Ooooh shit," she said hoarsely.

Hawke suddenly realized her one major disadvantage. Fenris knew her fighting style better than anyone else. She rapidly turned onto her back in time to see the flash of cold steel coming towards her. Hawke flinched and rolled to her right and then again quickly to the left as Fenris drove his blade down into the marble stone, repeatedly on either side of her. As he wound his sword straight over his head, she stole the opportunity to flip back into a handstand and on to her feet. Scurrying back and moving both of her blades into a defensive position.

"Hawke, what are you playing at?" Hawke heard Justice yell.

She had no chance to respond. Hawke and Fenris became engaged in a deadly tango. His greatsword and her daggers clanging and shrieking loudly as they made contact with one another.

Hawke honestly wasn't sure what she was playing at, she just kept moving defensively, her back edging closer and closer to the wall. She was not going to kill him. She realized things worked differently in the Fade. But she had no idea what his death here would mean- and she didn't intend to find out.

When she finally ran out of room, her back hit the wall as Fenris swung around for a finishing blow. She barely managed to cross her blades in time to deflect the tip of his sword into the wall. Their steel making a terrible scraping noise as he came in close to her face, attempting to force his blade through her pinched daggers. Hawke's arms trembled violently from the effort of holding him at bay.

"MA VEHNAN! HAWKE!" Merrill screamed.

"Fenris," Hawke grunted through her teeth. Helplessly staring into his red glowing eyes, she took a shaky breath. The elf's face was torn into an ugly snarl as he held her pinned up against the cold stone.

Caress swiftly floated up behind him. "Finish her, my pet," she demanded coolly.

"You want me?" Hawke asked gruffly, keeping her eyes intensely focused on Fenris. "You can have me," she breathed. Daring to inch her face closer to his she whispered softly, "I am yours."

Fenris' distorted face began to gradually melt and the burning red of his eyes slowly started to fade back into their brilliant shade of emerald. The elf's face drained of all color and his eyebrows raised in horror as he gaped at her.

As much as Hawke wanted to drop her daggers to the ground and throw her arms around Fenris' neck in a tight embrace; there was no time to waste. She twitched her eyes to the demons face then back to Fenris' and gave him the slightest of nods.

Without moving his head, his eyes darted to the side and he saw Caress standing less than a foot away from the back of his shoulder. His eyes returning to Hawke's, his expression turned neutral and he nodded once.

The creature never stood a chance. In a bright white, lyrium flash Fenris spun around and cut off Caress' horned head. It fell to the ground with a wet thud, and soon after her body limply fell to it's knees, then on to it's side.

The room fell into a thick silence and Hawke slumped her back against the wall groaning as she let herself plop down onto the ground. Resting her elbows on her knees she dropped head into her hands with a heavy sigh.

"The shades?" she loudly asked no one in particular, as she gratefully took in all the air her lungs would hold.

"No longer a problem," Justice stated. Already making his way out of the room and returning Anders staff to the back of his shoulders.

Merrill meekly walked passed Fenris and over to Hawke. Studying her as she gingerly rested her hand Hawke's elbow. She wrapped her other hand underneath Hawke's arm and helped pull her to her feet.

Hawke and Fenris couldn't bear to look at each and instead both kept their eyes intently focused on the ground. Merrill stood between them leaning her chin against her cupped hands as her lips pressed into a tight smile. The blood mage's cheeks grew into a pleasant shade of pink as her eyes darted between them.

"I'll- make sure you two have a moment," she said before practically skipping out of the room. Leaving them once more in an awkward silence.

"_She will be safe,"_ those four mind altering words seemed to echo within Hawke's mind. She found herself lifting her head as she began to stare at Fernis' with dawning clarity. All of his actions and decisions suddenly made sense. His tendency to grow aloof and distant, his apparent overwhelming fear of her getting too close. It wasn't because he did not care- nothing could be further from the truth. Fenris, was in love with her-

A petrified frown gripped Hawke's face and she quickly turned away as she took in a long shaky breath. Ever instinct in her body was telling her it was time to run. To flee before she could cause any more damage. But the longer they stood there, the more terrifying the idea of losing him became.

"I- I am unworthy," Fernis finally managed. Hawke turned to face him once more, her brow deeply furrowed with confusion. "I- betrayed you," he hissed and scowled at the floor.

She was speechless. Hawke wanted only to go to him, to delicately cup his gorgeous face in her hands. To look into his large green eyes and tell him not to fear, that it was alright and that she understood. For the first time, she completely understood. But now her fear was as great as his and she felt as though her feet had been cemented to the floor.

Hawke nervously laughed as she reluctantly stepped towards him. Her hands anxiously clutched onto the sides of her leather leggings and she bore him a large false smile.

"Oh- I'm sure I'll find some way for you to make it up to me," she attempted to banter, with great effort.

Fenris raised his face to meet hers. He quizzically glared at Hawke, as if begging her to punish him. It melted her heart and she sighed, placing a nervous hand on the back of her neck. Her smile turned sincere as she gazed into his eyes.

"Fenris, I will be more than happy to let you gravel later. But in the meantime- let us do what we came here to do so we can get out of this blighted place."

The elf's face grew blank, and he nodded in agreement. Together they moved and left the desolate room to join the others.


	10. The Fade Part 2

**AUTHORS NOTES: **Holy poop! I am almost sorry that we are finally out of the Fade. As per usual, I have written way too much and am breaking up the one chapter I wrote this week into two… I'm sensing a pattern here. I hope that it was worth the wait and that you all enjoy the ride!

**This week shout outs go to cellotlix: To Be Free & Krstanci: Out of the Fade and Into Your Heart, Thank you for your on going inspiration!**

**MY REVIEWERS:** I want to give special thank you's to: Musicalrain, GlysMari, EkoCentirc and last but certainly not least, Marlene101. Thank you all so much for your encouragement, I can't tell you what a good motivator having you all out there has been!

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**CHAPTER 10**

They made their way across the large hall and towards the second door. Hawke stared at its splintered surface scowling, the image of Fenris' red glowing eyes still fresh in her mind. If she hadn't been compelled to tell Fenris… She could have really hurt him. Or worse- she could have killed him. Closing her eyes, she shivered as she shook her head trying to rid herself of the troubling memory.

"Have I mentioned that I **_really_** don't like it here?" She asked turning to Fenris.

He looked just as miserable as she felt, his expression torn between a terrible guilt and overwhelming relief. His mind, clearly wondering on the same twisted path as hers was. Fenris' eyes met hers and they both stiffened gaping at each other, still neither able to articulate the tangled web of their feelings. Hawke quickly snapped her anxious gaze back to the door grimacing as she glared suspiciously at its threatening knob.

"Let us do this quickly," Justice barked impatiently as he came up beside her, "I have no wish to stay here."

Looking at the dismal spirit, Hawke's eyes narrowed. "Patience is a virtue too, correct? Is there are a spirit of Patience? Maybe we should have brought him along instead."

Justice crossed his arms as he sneered at her. Merrill threw a meek hand to her lips and laughed out loud. And Fenris snorted, shaking his head as he fought back his bemused grin. Hawke felt a brief wave of warm and fuzzy comfort as a self-satisfied smirk touched her lips. She grumbled miserably to herself before once again turning her attention to the forsaking doorway, tentatively reaching for its handle.

As soon as the tips of her fingers brushed the surface of the tarnished doorknob, she felt her body fiercely being pulled into the room. The blinding light stinging her eyes as the magic took over. She suddenly found her self standing alone in the back of a room that was packed full with elves from Merrill's clan and Keeper Marethari stood before them with Feynriel standing self-importantly at her side.

Hawke began to walk forward when she stumbled, slightly. Catching herself she stared down at the unfamiliar pitch-black robes, with gold trim that she was now wearing. Holding her hands out in front of her face she turned them over repeatedly, she was hardly surprised to discover that upon entering this dream that she had transformed, yet again; but she was surprised to discover that her body was now that of a man's. A tall, spindly elf, with a long black wooden staff, crowned with three dragon heads, affixed to her back.

_Ah, _Hawke realized as she straightened her foreign shoulders and shook her head, _First Enchanter Orsino. _She continued moving to the front of the crowd as Keeper Marethari began to preach to the gathered elves.

"May I present to you… our hope," Marethari announced proudly. "His features may mark him as human, but in his heart beats the blood of the Dales!" She said profoundly as she stood back with a grand wave of her arm as she introduced Feynriel to her clan. "He came to us to learn his heritage, to release the power from a lineage as ancient as our own race."

"I- I don't know what to say..." Feynriel said blushing slightly as he nervously itched the back of his neck.

Grumbling impatiently, Hawke stepped forward, "That's not the Keeper," she snapped in Orsino's low, powerful voice. "Demons can take on other forms."

"First Enchanter?" asked Feynriel, horror and confusion spreading across his face.

"Oh, bugger!" Hawke chided herself with a whisper, pinching the bridge of the First Enchanters long and pointed nose. Taking a deep breath, she reminded herself to ease Feynriel into the truth of his situation, to keep the boys frail mind from breaking.

"This is a trick, Feynriel," she stated gently.

"B-but mother told me the Dalish are honorable!" Feynriel said with a shrill note of panic etching his voice. "Why would the Keeper lie?"

"Why would she entrust her people to a human?" She asked simply.

The Keeper hissed at Hawke, raising an arm in front of the boy, attempting to shield him from Orsino's words. "You are one of us, Feynriel," Marethari said reassuringly. "Your magic will restore our greatness."

"But..." Feynriel began to slowly back away from Keeper Marethari as the seeded doubt took root in his eyes. "You told me this magic was outlawed for a reason. Even the Dalish don't practice it anymore."

Hawke allowed a crooked cocky grin touch the First Enchanter's lips. "Could the elves trust you with the power to shape reality?" she asked as she crocked an eyebrow.

"Well… I," the young mage's face sank as his eyes quickly found his feet.

"Could you trust yourself?"

"Don't listen to him!" barked Marethari, "The First Enchanter is trying to keep you from realizing your full potential."

"No- no he's trying to keep me from temptation. Just like you were," Feynriel said, courageously staring down the demon. "You're not the Keeper! Be gone, Fiend!"

With that, Feynriel spun around and ran towards the wall, seemingly with no intention of stopping. There was a vibrant purple blaze of light and he was gone, disappearing into thin air.

"You! Why have you interfered?" Keeper Marethari snapped as she reeled on Orsino.

Her body abruptly began to contort with violent, jarring, thrashes and grew monstrous in size as the Demon of Pride, Wryme, took his true form. His dark skin was jagged and barbed and his face was covered with several beady little eyes. His mouth was full of razor sharp teeth and spikes protruded aggressively from the back of his skull.

"With my power joined to his," hissed the demon's gravelly, baritone voice with a terrible bitterness, "Feynriel would have changed the world!"

Hawke lifted a hand to her face, relieved to find it was her own. "Have you ever seen an abomination?" She asked with a wide smirk as her eyes landed thankfully on Fenris, Justice and Merrill, who were all standing at her side once more. She laughed, before crossing her arms and arrogantly leaning back on one leg. "They are ug-ly."

"You put such stock in appearances? Perhaps that is why your friends' loyalty only goes-skin deep," Wryme growled, barring his large teeth. "You think this elf, with her innocent face, would turn down a demon's offer? She didn't before," the demon turned to Merrill with a luring tilt of his serrated head. "How about it? Would you take what I offered the boy? Scion of the Dalish, savior of elven kind?"

"Can- can you do that?" Merrill asked intrigued. She boldly began to walk right up to the demon, leaving her companions standing behind her as she stopped only a few feet away from the creature's face. Her large eyes grew wider still as she looked up at Wryme longingly.

"Be cautious," Fenris whispered to Hawke. He was deliberately removing his greatsword from his back with great care as he glared suspiciously at the blood mage.

"I am the greatest of my kind!" The demon smugly proclaimed. "Whatever tricks your little pet has taught you will pale in comparison."

"All right, when he puts it that way..." Hawke sighed with exasperation, an impish smile still curving her lips. "Honestly though, how is anyone suppose to compete with that?" She asked, as she glanced to Merrill. Hawke's smile quickly fell away as she stared blankly at her friend. "Ah… Merrill?"

"I- I cannot…" Merrill wavered as she held her eyes shut tight, her expression warped with concentration. Hunching her shoulders she began to tremble feverishly, with her knuckles turning ghostly white as she stubbornly squeezed her hands into balled fists at her sides. She was battling fiercely within her mind against Wryme's tempting offer… and she was loosing.

Hawke swallowed passed the ball of wadded up dread that was forming in her throat, her hands finding the helts of her daggers and she rested them there reassuringly in preparation for what was to come. Her mind had begun to whirl as she wondered what good Fenris' sword and her little daggers would really do against a blood mage in the Fade.

"Hawke-" Justice said softly as he came to her side. She and Fenris both turned to the spirit gaping at him. For a moment, Hawke could have sworn she had heard a twinge of Anders gentle voice mixed within the harshness of Justice's.

"I-'ve got youuur back," Anders voice drawled as it fought its way out, and his lips twitched into wrestled smile. He slowly removed his long, bronze staff from his shoulders before turning his attention back to Merrill.

"Anders?" Hawke whispered keenly.

Anders was really the only mage Hawke had ever trusted besides her father and Bethany. The idea that a part of him was actually still there fighting through Justice with them, helping them in this delicate situation was deeply reassuring. She smiled drily before returning her focus back to Merrill.

"I… cannot put you above the fate of my people," Merrill managed as she slowly opened her eyes, spilling out their new murderously red glow down her pale, tattooed cheeks.

"Another lost," spat Justice taking over once again, as he stepped calmly in front of Hawke, holding Anders' staff at a sever angle to his side. The spirit fixed his eyes vindictively on the blood mage, "The fool."

"Merrill, dearest-" Hawke whined, as Fenris cast her a weary look and they both began cautiously stepping away from Anders' puppeteered body and the lanky elf. "You swore you wouldn't be a bother- remember? This definitely qualifies as being a bit of a bother."

Merrill's face had gone completely flaccid as she continued to mindlessly approach the demon of Pride. He bared his sharp teeth, in an ugly smile as he cupped a massive hand around her, making the elf look much like a child's doll.

"You took my dreamer," Wryme snarled sharply as he turned Merrill to face them, her long, crooked wooden staff in hand. "Now you'll take his place!"

Chaos erupted as Merrill flung her arms and staff forward, hurling a wall of raging fire towards them. Justice responded immediately, raising Anders staff and both his arms before quickly swinging them down across himself. Sending a burst of air rushing down and snuffing out the flames as Justice charged her. The two possessed mages became interlocked in a whirlwind of motion, spells flying and their staves twirling, occasionally smashing together with a tremendous clatter.

While at the same time, Hawke's eyes suddenly widened as Wryme logged a huge ball of green electrical currents through the air, and it was heading right for her. The next thing she knew, Fenris was tightly wrapping his arms around her as he tackled her and they fumbled into a heap on the marble floor. The elf laying himself over Hawke like a shield as the threatening ball of energy flew directly over them and into the brick wall with booming strength.

Fenris began to hastily lift himself up off of Hawke when their eyes met. Freezing them briefly where they lay as the gawked at one another. Hawke's cheeks burned, she had never been so tempted to kiss someone as she had been in that felting moment. Quickly clearing her throat she flicked her eyes back to the demon as he charged towards them, a fresh batch of green electricity forming in his huge claws.

"Looks like he wants a fight," Hawke shouted over the deafening noise of the battle at hand, shyly smiling up at the elf that still lay on top of her. "Lets not disappoint," she yelled beginning to grin mischievously.

"Right," Fenris shouted back gruffly as he shook his head.

They were both on their feet, weapons in hand and together they bolted towards the creature. Wryme threw his ball energy and it whooshed past them as Hawke vanished into the shadows with a wily spin and Fenris faded into a lyrium infused rage. With lightening speed he was standing directly in front of the beast, making his deadly assault and Hawke repaired at the creatures back.

The two of them began moving in a deadly dance of flashing blades, lunges and parries. Though it seemed they were not making much headway, Wryme's hide was as thick and tough as any armor Hawke had ever seen. Merely by chance, while making an upward slice with his enormous sword across the demon's chest, Fenris had grazed Wryme's neck with the edge of his blade. Black blood began to pour down the creature's collarbone and chest and he bellowed with fury. The Pride demon wildly swung his arm back attempting to ward them off. Fenris had ducked just in time but Hawke had been hit with the entire weight of his swing. Sending her hurdling through the air, her back slamming into the wall with such force that its stone surface cracked.

"HAWKE!" Fenris yelled, as she fell limply to the ground. The elf moved to go after her but Wryme was on the attack once more, forcing Fenris to hold his position.

Hawke slowly stumbled onto her feet, with her daggers still miraculous clutched in her hands. "That's going to leave a mark," she groaned.

There was a blood-curdling scream that came from behind her, and she swung herself round holding her blades in a defensive position. Hawke felt the color drain from her face and her jaw drop with horror.

Justice was walking steadily towards Merrill as a frost spell tore from the end of Anders' long staff. Encasing the blood mage in an icy tomb. The spirit did not stop moving until he was standing a foot away from the now silent, elven ice sculpture, studying it with an odd tilt of his head. Taking his borrowed staff in both hands he slowly wound it back.

"JUSTICE!" Hawke shouted, "DON'T!" But it was too late.

With his mighty swing, the staff collided into the mound of solid Dalish frost with a horrible clang. The tomb shattered spectacularly, causing huge chunks of rock hard ice to rain down upon them as Merrill's body disappeared in a wisp of black smoke and dust.

She gasped, fury engulfing ever fiber of her being. Hawke spun around and with an enraged roar and she ran flying past Fenris, his sword still slashing with blinding speed as their fierce conflict with Wryme stormed on. As she advanced, the demon swung both of his colossal fists behind his shoulders, slamming them down into the ground with a thunderous crash missing the elf and Hawke by mere inches.

Fenris staggered back, while Hawke had somehow managed to take a running leap onto one of demon's gigantic forearms. Using the momentum of the creatures rising limb, she threw herself into the air with both daggers drawn, tucking her legs beneath herself and winding her arms high above her head. Landing on the demon's chest, she savagely plunged her blades into the soft tissue just above the creature's collarbones, twisting them with a ruthless grunt.

Hawke stayed clinging to her daggers as Wryme fell onto his back with a loud, dull thud. Brutally grunting once more, she ripped her blades from the hideous creature while hopping backwards off his lifeless corpse. She stood there silently catching her breath as Fenris came up along side her, admiring Hawke's bloody handy work. Twirling her blades artfully back into their sheathes on her belt, she coldly turned away.

"Be sure that it's finished," Hawke snarled.

"I can do that," Fenris said simply.

Taking his greatsword in both hands and raising it high over his head, he released a vicious battle cry as he swung it down with as much force he could muster. With a grotesque splatter and crunch, his blade severed the demon's spinal cord from the base of its neck.

Justice stood; patiently waiting as Hawke approached him. Without looking at him, she knelt down and picked up one of the large, melting chunks of ice.

"Is- is she?" Hawke closed her eyes as she let the slippery, cold shard fall from her hand. She couldn't bring herself to say the actually word.

"Dead?" The spirit asked coolly. "No. She will have woken now. Dooo not w-worry," Justice said, another hint of Anders charming voice slurred in. His face strained from the effort. "We will seeee her when we fin-ally leave this place. I prom-ise."

Hawke rose slowly to her feet as she stared at the spirit in a confusion of anger and relief. She wasn't exactly sure whom she was talking to anymore or whom she should be angry with. Sighing agitatedly, she scowled and crossed her arms tightly over her chest.

"It would have been nice to have known that sooner," Hawke said sternly.

"To what end?" Justice asked dispassionately, his brittle voice taking over once more. "Would it have changed anything?"

Hawke's eyes darted to Fenris as he came to a stop beside her, before she quickly looked away. Justice was referring to what had happened with Caress and Fenris. The infuriating spirit was right. Even if she had known that, her actions would not have been any different. Her anger boiled over as her frown deepened.

"…I…I suppose not," she reluctantly admitted.

The room had begun to fall into a thick and uneasy silence as they the three of them exchanged glances with varying degrees of annoyance, when a bright flash of violet light filled the room. Hawke raised an arm, shielding her eyes as she watched a tall, thin silhouette coming towards them. The light drained away while Feynriel was casting his eyes fearfully about the room as he apprehensively approached them.

"Thank the Maker- Feynriel," Hawke sighed with evident relief as she hurried towards him, Fenris and Justice following closely behind.

"I-I'm not sure this is real," the boy said, his voice trembling as he stared, dumbfounded, at the three of them. "If so this- it is the second time I that owe you my life," Feynriel said with religious fervor as he gaped at Hawke with wonder. "The Fade… it feels much different now. I see the stitches, the seams holding it together. I feel I could wake at any moment," he finished with a confident smile, looking to Hawke for her approval.

"Dreamers control the Fade," Justice growled threateningly. "And the dreams of people in it."

Feynriel's eyes fell to the stone floor and his shoulders sagged with melancholy at the spirit's callousness.

Hawke's eyes snapped to Justice as she glared at him. "You know, you really are such a pleasure to be around. I just can't see why Anders would want to hide such a rare little gem such as yourself."

Fenris coughed loudly as he chocked back his laughter at the sight of Justice's glowering face.

Lost in his own self-loathing and pity, Feynriel had missed their entire exchange. His eyes still fixed mournfully to his own feet. "I see why the Chantry fears us…" the boy said shaking his head as he raised his sights back to them. "Everywhere- all I hear are the nightmares of people dying, fleeing, gnawing their own arms off to escape," he said despairingly. "This is a world of monsters. And they all want me. Please," Feynriel begged, "help me to escape. Help me die."

"If I kill you here… I will only destroy your mind," Hawke said soothingly as she stepped towards him. "You will become a Tranquil."

"I was afraid of that for so long," Feynriel said, his eyebrows rising wistfully. "I can't even remember why. To live, to sleep without dreaming, to never hear a demon's whisper- it is a blessing as great as standing at the Maker's side," said the boy, a look of determination spreading over his face. "Do it- put a knife in my heart."

"Feynriel-" Hawke breathed, the shock his conviction cutting deep. He was only a child, and she could not bring herself to believe that this was his only option. "You do not have to let this power destroy you," she said taking both his shoulders in her hands. "You said you could now see the fabric that holds this place together- that you would wake at any moment. You can beat this, master it."

Feynriel pulled away from her as he began to slowly nod his head. "I- I would have to find someone to study under," he said, his eyebrows furrowing in thought. "The Dalish do not have what I need. Perhaps… Tevinter. If these powers can be trained, it would be there," he abruptly stopped, a deep sadness brimming his eyes with tears. "But- my mother would not look kindly on such a journey. Can- can you give her my farewell?"

"Yes- Feynriel..." Hawke reluctantly said cringing, a flash of her own mothers disappointed face flickering in the back of her mind. She didn't enjoy the thought of getting that look from Arianni. She sighed irritably, "I'll tell you're mother anything you like. But only if you get us out of this blighted place," said Hawke, her shoulders slumping forward with fatigue.

"Perhaps… there is a way out of this," he said staring down at his hands. Feynriel turned away from them, raising a tentative hand, he seemed to be reaching out to something with his index finger and he gingerly pressed it to the air causing violet ripples of light to wave in front of him. His eyes nervously flicked over his shoulder to Hawke as pulled his hand away.

She suddenly realized she was holding her breath and loudly blew it out threw her pierced lips. Fenris and Justice were both standing aside and watching intently, with their eyes locked on the boy.

Hawke found her self staring at the brooding elf longingly. Her emotions were still mangled and confused, but she could not help but wish that Fernis were nearer to her. That he might again reassuringly take her hand as he had before they had entered the wretched Fade. Hawke's breath hitched and she trembled slightly as Fenris turned his face and his gaze to meet hers.

"D-don't beee frightened," Anders voice whispered, crackling free from Justice as he studied her worried face.

"Me?" Hawke whispered back, making a show of false confidence. "Pfft- I was just about to say the same thing to you." Taking another deep breath she went to Feynriel, and put a firm, comforting hand on the back of his shoulder.

"You can do this," she said encouragingly.

"I can do this" Feynriel repeated, nodding his head and smiling at Hawke. "Shall we?" He asked earnestly before turning back and lifting both his hands, wrapping the Fade around them.

A bright purple light shrouded them as the world seemed twist and turn, colors and objects mixing into one. Hawke's vision suddenly went black and she felt her body falling backwards.


	11. Awkward Awakenings

**CHAPTER 11**

It was blessedly still, and a blanket of comforting darkness enveloped her. All was quiet and Hawke was content to stay there in the vast nothingness. It was peaceful. She could finally rest.

As she floated mindlessly in the void a strange sound began to emerge, seemingly far off in the distance. Muffled murmuring. A voice. As if someone was trying to talk to her through great walls of thick glass.

"Lethallin," Marethari's monochromic tone rang, calmly. "Nudan andaran atish'an. Ir abelas, ma vhenan-"

The Keeper's voice was so soothing. So reassuring. Beckoning her towards a pinprick of light that had begun to strip through her wonderful blackness. As she drew near it, the light grew. Overpowering the bleak vastness that surrounded her.

There were suddenly new voices present and they growing louder over the sound of the Keepers gentle chanting. They seemed to reverberate and echo within her ears. Short, clipped, panic-stricken sounds, only making her darkness seem all the more appealing.

"What have you done to her?" Fernis' snarling voice bellowed in the darkness. "Why won't she wake?"

"Souver'inan isala hamin-"

"Hawke?" chimed Merrill, like a small bell.

"Marian?" Anders paniced voice hit her eardrums like a sledgehammer. "Marian, can you hear me?"

"Vhenan him dor'felas. In uthenera na revas-"

"Don't call her that," Fenris snapped viciously.

"Vir sulahn'nehn. Vir dirthera. Vir samahl la numin-"

"I don't think it's any of your concern what I cal-"

"By the Paragons!" Varric's deep, gruff voice roared. "Will you two shut-

Hawke's body violently arched upward from her mat on the floor. She gasped loudly as she chocked on the rush fresh of air, stinging her lungs. Large strong hands held her shoulders firmly and another set of hands gently gripped her legs as she fought to regain control of her body. Her hair was slick with sweat, and beads of perspiration covered her face. She was deeply disoriented and her vision blurred by the sudden presence of light. Hawke's squinted eyes frantically scanned the room around her as she tried desperately to catch her breath.

"I'm right here with you, Hawke," said Varric.

He was kneeling just above her head and leaning over her. His upside down face slowly came into focus with his usual complacent smirk. The dwarf's massive, leather gloved hand brushed her sweat matted bangs off of her face, before he playfully patted and pinched her cheek.

"Phew," he gasped, waving a hand in front of his scrunched nose. "Hawke, I know you're a busy woman- but you should really take some time out for yourself and squeeze in a bath every once in awhile."

Hawke gave him an exhausted smile. "Ass," She coughed, throwing her hand back and smacking the dwarf's forearm.

"Nice to see you too," Varric smiled, though it did not hide the concern that lingered in his expression.

Testing her eyes, Hawke deliberately blinked until the rest of the room around her came out of the haze. A sea of varying, worried faces surrounded her. Anders was knelt of the floor at her feet, hunched over as his hands still loosely held her ankles. Arianni stood over her to her right, a comforting arm wrapped snuggly around Merrill's shoulders. The blood mage gaped nervously at Hawke's face as she tentatively held her frail, magic burned hands to her lips. The Keeper sat majestically, posed on her knees at Hawke's left. She carefully rested her delicate old hands, crossed over her tree branch like staff, holding it to her lap. And there was Fenris, standing rigidly behind Keeper Marethari, his arms crossed tightly over his armored chest. He was staring down at her with a deep and undisguised concern.

To see Fernis like that made Hawke's stomachache, she wanted only to be able to reach his hand. She quickly averted her eyes away from his as the memories of what happened between them in the Fade rushed back to her. Hawke had never cared for anyone more, and she was beginning to wonder if she ever would. She also, had never been more terrified. The idea of entering the Fade alone suddenly seemed like a picnic when compared to dealing with the tangle of emotions that now clattered within her skull.

Hawke sighed shakily before looking to the Keeper. "Well, don't leave me in suspense," she drawled with a weak smirk. "Wh- what happened?"

"You became separated from your traveling companions while returning from the Beyond," Marethari explained, neutrally. "And lost your way. Somehow, you became trapped in the space between the Fade and the waking world."

Hawkes eyes widened with horrified shock, "H-how is that even possible?"

"We cannot say for certain," Marethari continued as she raised her eyebrows, pinching her forehead into a tight knot. "All that is known- is that it is does occur and must never find their way back."

"They die?" Fenris asked simply, through clenched teeth as he glared down accusingly at the Keeper.

"Not exactly," Anders said. He exasperatedly rolled his eyes before locking them down on Hawke's as he finally; slowly slid his hands down her ankles and off her feet. "Your heart would still beat and air would still pass through your lips. But-" the mage cringed, "You would never wake. Your conscious mind would forever be lost."

"You were lucky to have had so many loved ones with you," the Keeper said, a faint smile crossing her lips. "Without them here to anchor you, may not have been so fortunate."

"Lucky, fortunate…" Hawke said, limply shacking her head from side to side as it still lay resting on Anders lumpy coat. "That's me, alright. Explains why I always end up in exotic locations like the Fade and the Deep Roads?"

Varric and Anders scuffed.

Hawke groaned loudly as she agonizingly tired to sit up. Anders arms twitched, wordlessly offering his assistance, causing Fenris to grumble as he took a warning step towards the mage.

Hawke laughed and continued her struggle, while calmly putting up a hand, "I'm fine, Anders. Thank you."

"Easy there, Hawke," the dwarf said as placed a hand on the back of her shoulders, guiding her into a seated position; Hawke achingly pulled her knees up and dug her elbows into them, placing the palms of her hands to her forehead.

"Serah Hawke…" Arianna said meekly after unwrapping her arm from around Merrill, she stepped forward, nervously looking down as she began to search Hawke's eyes. "Forgive me but… is Feynriel…"

"Oh- Arianni, please," Hawke said with a shake of her head. Dropping her knees and crossing her legs under herself as she reached up, she took one of the troubled mother's hands in both her own. "He is alive and well," Hawke breathed, "He has done all he can to master his powers on his own. But-" her eyes quickly darted to the floor as she let her hands drop into her lap. Hawke began to fidget uncomfortably. "He will be seeking further guidance in Tevinter. He- he asked me to say goodbye."

"My- my son… is gone?" Arianni asked, her eyes brimming with tears.

"It is wise that he is seeking help, Arianni," Marethari said as she rose onto her feet. She walked around Varric and Hawke before placing a tender hand on the grieving mother's shoulder. "Kirkwall cannot provide him with the training he needs," counseled the Keeper. "Be grateful that your son still lives. Serah Hawke has accomplished an impossible miracle with Feynriel." She stated plainly, as she looked down respectfully at the still seated Hawke. "You are a rare human, indeed."

"Please Keeper," Varric pleaded with a wicked smile. "Don't feed her ego. I'm amazed we were able to fit her head through the door as it is."

"Hey!" Pouted Hawke.

The dwarf merely responded with an evil little giggle and Anders and Merrill laughed as Hawke whapped Varric over the head. Hearing Fenris chuckle, Hawke's head snapped back to her left. She gazed up into his vibrant green eyes as she began to blush and he shyly smiled at her in return. She gulped down the hard knot in her throat before returning her attention to the Keeper and Arianni.

"Of course," Arianni said, dropping her head shamefully. She knelt down beside Hawke and wrapped her arms tightly around her in a warm embrace. Hawke smiled wryly and awkwardly padded the back of Arianni's shoulders. "I can't thank you enough for what you have done for my Feynriel," she sobbed quietly into Hawke's ear. Pulling away she gave Hawke a grateful smile and stood once more.

After Varric and Anders had helped Hawke stagger back on to her feet and a few more pacing words with the Keeper and Arianni, there was discomforting interlude between Merrill and Marethari. Apparently the Keeper was not surprised by Merrill's betrayal in the Fade. But decided to scold her once more for using blood magic anyway, keeping them all as her unwilling, squirming audience.

"Awkward," Varric had said lyrically as he, Hawke, Fenris and Anders all hedged anxiously towards the hovel door.

When they were all finally standing outside, they all glanced from one another unsure what was suppose to happen next. The day had passed and the night had fallen while they had been lost in the Fade. Hawke let her head slump back as she looked up into the starry night sky. The stars looked nothing like the green fireflies that seemed to dance in the vast expanse of the Fade's dark atmosphere. Hawke sighed and laughed, thanking the Maker that they were in fact in the real world. She turned her head to find that Varric was looking up at her and nodding his head with understanding.

"Welcome back, Hawke," he said with a weary smile. She smiled widely at him as she clapped a hand to his shoulder before returning her eyes skyward.

"It's good to be back," said Hawke breathlessly.

"You can say that again," Anders interjected brightly as he too slumped back his head to gaze up at the stars.

Turning to face to the mage, Hawke's smile softened as her eyes accidentally fell on Fenris'. The elf was staring back at her, his eyes searching hers with his expression drawn into a conflicted grimace, as if he were looking for the right thing to say.

"Hawke I-" Merrill interrupted with a squeak and they all turned to her as she sorrowfully stared down at her shuffling feet. She briskly walked over to Hawke and stood in front of her, not daring to meet Hawke's eye as she continued her fidgeting dance. "I can't believe I turned on you… I'm so sorry… Ma serannas."

"Merrill, really. It's fine," Hawke said curtly, putting up halting hand before placing it over her face and firmly massaging her brow. "If I held a grudge against everyone that ever attacked me in a dream, I'd have no friends," she finished with a shrug of her shoulders and giving Merrill a brief exhausted smile. Hawke did not relish the idea hearing any long-winded, awkward apologies... not at least without getting a few drinks in her system to dull the embarrassing pain. "We can get into it if you'd really like, but please- lets just wait and make sure I can get a cold pint in my hand, first. Alright?"

Merrill giggled nervously, while reaching up a hand to rub the back of her neck. "How do you do that? Make everything better with a smile?" Merrill asked finally bringing her eyes to meet Hawke's. She smirked, "It- it's like magic that doesn't get you into trouble."

"If only it worked that way with everyone," Anders said with a wistful shrug, before fixing Hawke with a gentle smirk and his longing eyes.

"Well, I think that settles it, then" Varric said as he clapped his hands and rubbed them together with a roguish smile. "To the Hanged Man! Come!" The dwarf command boisterously as he turned to Hawke. "You have sworn an oath to your beloved dwarf," he said with closed eyes, shacking his head down into a bow and placing a noble hand over his chest. "To a magically evening of merriment and mirth at your expense."

"Really? Now?" Hawke whined incredulously as the others chuckled and stared on with tired bemusement.

"Hawke?" intervened a low, rasping voice that Hawke knew only too well.

Slowly turning her attention to Fenris, she restlessly watched as he steadily came walking towards her. The elf's eyes were wide and questioning, and his eyebrows were raised with concern. He cleared his throat and took one of her hands in his, seemingly undaunted by their companions prying eyes.

"Will you be- ar-are you alright?" Fenris managed.

Hawke gaped at him with utter surprise, laughing breathlessly before clearing her own throat. "I- suppose I'll live. From what I understand that's no small feet," she anxiously grinned as her eyes hit the ground, unable to hold his haunting stare. Braving to raise her gaze back to his, she shivered slightly. "Are- you? Alright, I mean?"

Taking in a sharp breath, Fenris laughed, shaking his head as he looked at her with awe. He reached out a trembling hand before quickly pulling it back and resting it anxiously at his side. He seemed pained with uncertainty as he continued to stare into Hawke's piercing grey eyes. Closing his, Fenris exhaled as much of the tension as his body was willing to relinquish and allowed his shoulders to slump forward, his face coming within mere inches of hers. Taking only a moment more of petrified hesitation before he took both his hands and placed them firmly on her shoulders, pulling her towards him as he bent down his head and gently rested his brow against Hawke's forehead.

"I am now," he whispered sweetly, not daring to open his eyes.

Hawke shuddered and gasped from the sudden electric shock of his intimate proximity. His words ringing gloriously in her ears, she closed her eyes as an uncontrollable smile spread broadly across her face, aching her rosy cheeks to the bone. Sighing deeply, Hawke unconsciously leaned herself further into to the elf's tender touch.

"Awww, you two are adorable!" Merrill squealed, clapping her hands to her face.

Hawke's eyes popped open; she had briefly forgotten that they were still standing in the Elven Alienage, surrounded by their companions. She abruptly pulled away from Fenris' embrace, blushing violently as she ran a hand through her short dark hair. An amused smile immediately touched her lips as she noticed that Fenris was now standing in her exact mirror image.

"Just friends, my ass," Varric grumbled with a smirk, shaking his head as he mischievously glared at Hawke.

"Well! What are you waiting for?" Merrill asked Fenris with a fussy wave of her hand and blushing with delight. "Kiss her already!"

"MERRILL!" Hawke laughed with nervous glee.

She turned away from Varric and Merrill in attempt to hide her reddening face_**, **_when her eyes suddenly fell upon Anders. It looked as though the mage might be sick. His face was pale, his hazel eyes were wide and his jaw was slack as he stared at Hawke, crestfallen. He gulped and cleared his throat before he shook his head, closing his eyes as he brought a hand to his face, tightly pinching the bridge of his nose.

Hawke gawked at him with confusion as her heart began to sink into the pit of her stomach, a wave of intense guilt washing over her. She felt like such an idiot. She had had no idea that he was even still interested.

Sure they flirted. They flirted all the time. But since the conversation they had had standing outside of his clinic three years ago, Hawke had been convinced that that was just part of who Anders was. He was a charming, gentle, sensitive mage, and terrible flirt. Why else would he have seemingly thrown himself at her, only to completely shoot her down the second she attempted to reciprocate his gesture?

Not that it made a bit of difference. Even then she had been completely smitten with Fenris and she knew that if anything had happened between her and Anders, she would have regretted it. She adored Anders and saw him as one of her closest friends- but she just didn't see him that way. At least she hadn't…

Hawke quickly averted her eyes as she began to frown and anxiously rubbed the back of her neck. _Another truly awkward conversation I'll have to look forward too_, she thought bitterly.

It certainly explained Fenris' attitude toward Anders- not only was he a possessed mage, but he had his heart set on her. It wasn't surprising that the elf would have a little animosity for the man. She turned to look at Fenris, and was not astonished to find that he was glowering at Anders. Unable to stop the sly smile that curved her lips, Hawke silently laughed. Without hesitation she took the elf's hand, carefully interlacing her fingers with his and squeezed it reassuringly.

Fenris looked down at their interlocked hands with surprise before raising his gaze to hers questioningly. Hawke smiled warmly back before meekly shrugging her shoulders. They all knew now anyway and she relished the in simple freedom of showing her affection for him so openly. His cheeks turned to the most pleasant shade of pink as he looked back down to their hands with the most beautifully shy smile crossing his face.

"Come on, Blondie," Varric said as he swaggered over to Anders and slapped him companionably on the back, jarring the mage out of his bewildered trance. "I'll put you on my tab. I've been wanting to hear more about you and your adventures with the hero of Ferelden in the Black Marshes."

"Oh- yes, right. The Black Marshes," said Anders absently as the dwarf took him by the elbow pulling him towards the stairs that lead out of the Alienage.

"You too, Daisy," Varric said, waving Merrill over with playful smile.

Merrill's entire body seemed to sag with disappointment, "Uh- but," she turned to Hawke and Fenris as she vibrated with excitement. "You're coming? Aren't you, Hawke?"

"I'm sure Bianca would never forgive me if I didn't," Hawke answered, smiling brightly at Varric.

"Well-" the dwarf said primly, reaching back to stroke his beloved crossbow. "I'm just glad I didn't have to tell you."

Hawke laughed raising her other hand to her lips as she turned, leaning into Fenris. The elf rolled his eyes as he quietly chuckled.

"Uh! Are you two getting married?" Merrill asked with uncontainable elation, clasping her hands to her cheeks once more with a girlish shriek.

Hawke and Fenris' both dropped their jaws, their eyes broadening with horror and they quickly let go of each other's hands and backed away from each other, both coughing and laughing uneasily. Varric nearly fell over as he began laughing wildly, and even Anders snorted.

"I believe your work here is done, Daisy," the dwarf said, wiping away his tears of merriment with the back of his index finger.

Merrill's brow furrowed, "What work?"

Varric continued laughing as he managed to herd the two mages out of the Alienage and towards the Hanged Man with out any further delay, leaving Fenris and Hawke standing alone under the great tree in the center of the square. They stood there in companionable silence as Hawke returned her gaze to the stars through the leaves of the tree and Fenris watched her intently, his eyes overflowing with admiration.

"You- you frightened me," the elf said after a time, his eyes falling to his feet as he stepped closer to her once more.

"M-me?" asked Hawke with genuine surprise as she stared up into Fenris' dark face, his white hair shining mesmerizingly in the moonlight.

"Before you woke," he said cautiously bring his eyes to hers, "there was a moment when I thought- that you might-" the elf turned his face away, closing his eyes tight at the thought.

Hawke's eyebrows raised with compression, her breath wavering as she gaped at him. She brought a hand to his face and gently rested it on his cheek. He sighed gratefully, turning his face slightly into the palm of her hand and brought one of his hands to her wrist. Holding her there as he reassuringly breathed her in. Hawke trembled and smiled shyly, completely taken aback by his increasing gentleness towards her.

Fenris opened his eyes and gazed deeply into hers' as he began to smirk puckishly. "Don't do that again," he commanded earnestly.

Hawke laughed brightly, letting her hand fall back loosly to her side as she stared into his forest green eyes. "Oh my dear, Fenris," she sighed as her mischievous smile returned to her face. "Haven't I told you? I plan on living forever. So far so good really, considering my _**adventurous**_ lifestyle."

Fenris' eyes narrowed with exasperated contempt, "Is there nothing you take seriously?"

"Well," she laughed uncomfortably, as her eyes darted to the ground, "There are somethings…" she admitted with reluctance and stepped away from him as she nervously fiddled with her hands. "Fenris, I- I wanted…" she exhaled a loud huffing breath as she turned back to him, her eyes still fixed to the toes of her boots. "I'm- sorry, about what happened… in the Fade."

His head twitched back with surprise as he continued to stare at her. "You apologize to me, Hawke?" Fenris asked with his eyebrows drawn in tight with misunderstanding."If memory serves- I was the one that- I turned on you," he said shamefully bowing and shaking his head with a grimace. "I- I thought myself above such influence…" he spat with self disgust. "Please- forgive me," the elf breathed shakily.

"Fenris-" Hawke solemnly shook her head as she looked at him. "You never wanted to be there in the first place and still you volunteered… For me, for my sake," she laughed as she ran a hand roughly through her hair. Collecting her thoughts, she breathed deeply, "And I- I understand. What happened- with Caress I mean…" Hawke said sincerely. At that Fenris' gaze snapped up to hers positively aghast. She smiled understandingly as she stepped back towards him and rested a kindly hand on his forearm; "In a strange, and rather unfortunate way…" she shrugged as her smile briefly turned wry, "That was for my sake as well."

"I… you…" The elf's eyes were as wide as saucers as her gaped at her.

His face becoming a rollercoaster of emotion- bewilderment, rage, reverence, gratefulness, sadness, fear and finally… with his eyebrows raised softly and his lips parted, as his breathing became labored… love. Fenris was completely and utterly amazed that Hawke actually, literally understood him. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He never wanted to run away so desperately as he did in that moment. But he also had never wanted to kiss someone as badly as he wanted to Hawke; to hold her close and never let her go. Hawke was his first, and he knew with every fiber of his being, that she would be his one only. He finally dared to look within her soft grey eyes and sighed, a smile growing gradually across his face. When Fenris stared at her, he saw nothing but warmth and love.

Hawke nervously looked away from the elf as her own feelings began to overwhelm her, she wondered frantically if he could read her emotions as well as she read his. Bring her gaze back to his she knew that he could.

She laughed, "It was very… noble," Hawke continued reassuringly. Her smile turning playful, she continued to laugh, his eyes staying fixed intently with hers, "Terribly misguided. But noble."

"I am undeserving of such kindness," Fenris whispered gravely, as he shook his head, still smiling at her with wonder.

"Maker's breath-" she sighed with mock exasperation, crossing her arms she glared at him teasingly. "Shall I be supplying you with the scourge, then? Or do you prefer the wrack? There is no sense in me punishing you, when you seem more than happy to do it yourself."

"I wouldn't say I was happy," Fenris retorted, grinning wide as Hawke laughed unbridledly.

"Well- actually…" Hawke drawled, raising her eyebrows as she began to saunter away from him and to the stairs. "I don't think I can let you off the hook just yet. You have to do something for me," she said simply, turning back to face him as she leaned back on one leg with a self-assured smile.

He swiftly walked up to Hawke and lowered his face to hers, holding himself inches away from her lips. "Tell me," he whispered sternly.

Hawke trembled feverishly, releasing a shaky breath before biting her lower lip and meekly clearing her throat. "You heard Varric-" Hawke said with a quick shrug, trying desperately to appear unnerved. "I owe him a night of uninterrupted heckling. You come with me now to the Hanged Man as my moral support and all is forgiven," she finished as her cocky smile returned graciously to her lips.

Fenris struggled not smile back as he watched her fidgeting. "It is done," he said with firm confidence as he still hovered closely to her lips.

Unable to resist any more temptation, Hawke carefully leaned in a softly kissed the corner of his lips. Greedily inhaling his glorious mossy scent. He shivered as she pulled away, seductively locking her eyes with his before she began to viciously smile.

"Better be off then," she chirped merrily before dashing up the stairs.


	12. The Serivce of a Friend

**AUTHORS NOTES: **Didn't think I had forgotten about you all, did you? Forgive me for the absences folks. Needless to say- life happens. The husband had been away for two and a half weeks on a business trip and then came home expecting me to pay attention to him or something… the nerve of some people.

As per usual, I wrote a lot more then I had initially intended too. But I really wanted to spend a little more time developing the bond between Varric and Hawke, increase a little of the tension between her and Anders and giving you all a few more heart wrenchingly sweet moments between Hawke and her blighted elf before we head into territory that is how would you say… bitter.

**Special shout out this week once again goes to cellotlix: To Be Free (I think a part of me keeps hoping that maybe Cellotlix might stumble a cross this and decide to get back to his/her own story and FINISH IT! 'Cause man, it was super awesome until it all abruptly came to a halt).**

**MY REVIEWERS:** Thank you again, as always I love hearing what you have to say and I hope this was worth the wait. I have already been working on the next installment and hope to have it posted VERY soon… did I mention that things are about to get really bitter? Much love and enjoy!

* * *

**CHAPTER 12**

Upon reaching Varric's suite at the Hanged Man, Hawke and Fenris stood staring at the ale- and vomit-stained wooden door wearing matching grimaces on their faces. Horror gripping them both as the muffled sounds of boisterous voices and intoxicated clamor seeped through the taverns brittle walls.

"What was I thinking?" Hawke whined to herself as she brought a hand to her face covering it before she roughly pulled her long bangs back from her face. "It sounds like he's some squeezed half of Kirkwall in there."

"How is it you get into these difficult social situations so often?" Fenris asked staring at her as his brow began to furrow.

"It's another one of my many gifts, I suppose," she sighed wearily, her eyes still glued to Varric's room door with dismay.

Fenris laughed, bringing a smile to Hawke's lips as she turned her face to meet his glorious green eyes. The elf was smiling right back at her, gently shaking his head. "Well, _**I**_ think you should return it," he said as he corked an eyebrow, not once taking his gaze from Hawke's.

She laughed in return, her smile broadening, as her cheeks became a flustered red. "You distract me," Hawke grumbled with a derisive scowl before placing a hand to Fenris' armored chest and playfully pushing him away.

The elf grunted in mock injury, dramatically clutching his chest with one hand as he stumbled back, causing them both to burst out into laughter before momentarily falling back into silence as they stared at one another. Nothing else existed when Hawke lost herself in those eyes. She found herself wondering what it might be like to run her hands through his brilliant white hair, to be looking up into his dark, lyrium-lined face with the bare skin of his chest pressed against her own…

"Maker's breath, Hawke," Fenris breathed, earnestly smiling as he placed a hand and rubbed the back of his neck without taking his eyes from hers, snapping Hawke back into their present reality. "And you find me distracting?" The elf added with a sly smirk.

Her face started to burn and she curtly turned her eyes back to the door, coughing and clearing her throat as the now all too familiar urge to kiss him began to take over all of her other senses. "Well…" she sighed agitatedly, straightening her shoulders and tilting her head from side to side, releasing a chorus of satisfying cracks. "This door isn't going to open itself. You ready?" Hawke asked with insincere brightness, taking one last glance at the elf as she reached out and reluctantly began to push the heavy oak door open.

"As I'll ever be," Fenris groaned cringing with his eyes closed tight and slightly shying away as it swung open.

Hawke and Fenris entered the suite, stepping into the thick racket as it poured out from Varric's room and into the corridor. They let the door close behind, pausing hesitantly with their eyes growing wide as they stood gaping in front of the threshold. Everyone the elf and Hawke truly new was there.

By the fire at the far end of the room seated Anders, Aveline and Varric. Both the mage and guard captain sat slouched far down into low, large chairs with high backs, their legs outstretched and balancing their pints of ale on the arms of their matching wooden seats. Varric was placed in an even larger chair, made of heavy stone directly in front them. His elbows were propped on the wide arms of his seat and he was holding his hands balled together to his stubbly chin, his drink placed on a low table at his side. The dwarf and Aveline both sat contentedly listening as Anders spoke. The three of them only taking pause to laugh and sip on their frosty brews.

"…You should have seen it," Anders continued with a wistful chuckle, staring into the fire before taking another swig from his large mug. "The Warden Commander got her husband, King Alistair, to throw the Right of Conscription in those Templar's faces. It was absolutely priceless." He sighed, his soft smile fading as he turned his gaze to Aveline, "Do you ever miss Ferelden?"

"Me?" The Guard Captain asked, sitting up with genuine surprise and turning her curious eyes to meet the slouching mage's. "Of course! It was home," Aveline said, expression turning grave as she leaned forward resting her elbows on her knees and reassuringly wrapping both of her hands around the rim of her cup, staring down into it's dwindling contents. "I would never have left willingly."

"I didn't think I'd give it a second thought when I was gone," Anders said thoughtfully as he scratched the back of his head. "I mean, what did Ferelden ever do for me? But I do. I think about it. There's something here that just…" he paused closing his eyes as a frown began spread over his face, lost in the memories of his former life. "Doesn't feel right, you know?"

"You mean- the way mages are treated?" asked Aveline as she and Varric exchanged a worried glance before returning their eyes to the mage and studying him carefully.

"Oh no… no," Anders reopened his eyes and shook his head grimly as he fell silent. Staring into his drink he began tracing his fingers absently around the edge of his tankards rim.

Varric began to fidget, the sudden seriousness of their conversation catching the dwarf off guard. He awkwardly brought his own stein of ale to his lips and drank deeply.

Aveline straightened, she was still watching the mage as she sighed warily and placed her ale back on the arm of her chair. Raising a hand to one of her temples and rubbing it firmly.

Anders' mischievious eyes flicked up to his companions, a shrewd smile beginning to twitch at the corners of his lips. "I just think there's not enough dog shit," he said with brazen indifference, his playful crooked smile settled securely to his face as he took another casual swig of his cold brew.

Varric snorted into his full mug, sparing a mist of ale over Anders and Aveline. They all began laughing wildly, with Aveline holding her sides, Anders leaning over and slapping his knees and Varric wiping his lips as he continued to choke back his booming laughter.

Meanwhile, in the opposing corner of the room, Sebastian stood board straight with his back against the wall as he nervously tugged at the collar of his pristine white armor chest plate. Isabella was standing in front of him, a hand to her hip and the other held seductively to her lower lip as she bit down on tip her thumb. Merrill sat on top of a table against the wall, directly behind the pirate wench, swinging her legs and giggling as she looked on.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Sebastian gulped as he stared at Isabella, dread growing in his soft blue eyes. "It's- well… it's distracting."

"Isn't his armor glistening?" Merrill asked the pirate captain sweetly, oblivious to Isabella's shamelessly sensual stance. "I still think your Maker would sleep easier if you weren't making yourself such an easy target, Sebastian. I'm sure you stick out like a sore thumb going about all shiny like that."

"Merrill's right," Isabella swaggered as she stepped closer to the cowering boy, not once taking her immodest eyes off Sebastian. "Your armor is _**so**_ shiny," she said as slid both hands over the top of his chest plate, licking and biting her lips as she came ever closer. "Why I can even see myself in it."

"I… beg your pardon?" Sebastian croaked, his eyes growing wider still as he pressed himself tight into the corner walls in his futile attempt to dissolve through them.

"Wait- I actually can see myself in it," Isabella said as she caught site of her own image staring back up at her from the prince's extravagant armor. The color began to drain from her tanned face, as she continued to examine her reflection. "Look! Shit… Oh Shit!"

"What? What is it?"" Merrill asked with a note of panic etched in her high, sharp voice as she hopped down from the table and clung on to the back of Isabella's shoulders, peering over them.

"Is that a wrinkle?" The pirate glared at her reflection and grabbed the sides of Sebastian's armor. Tugging the prince nearer and holding him in place, she tentatively took a hand to her face and pulled the skin taught at the corner of her eye. "Is that a wrinkle between my brow?"

Flabbergasted, Sebastian gingerly tried to wiggle from her clutches. "Um… I don't see-"

"Hold still, damn it!" Isabella commanded, pushing him hard against the wall once more as she continued to scrutinize the lines on her face. Merrill cupped a hand over her mouth laughing as still watched the amusing scene in relative safety from behind Isabella's back.

Hawke couldn't help it. She covered her own mouth as she burst out laughing, leaning a shoulder gently into Fenris'. A tender smile graced his lips as he stood silently at her side with wide-eyed beguilement. Courageously, he raised a hand and placed it to Hawke's lower back, barely touching her as he rested it there.

"Hawke!" Varric called between the coughs of his chocking laugh. This was followed by a chorus of shouted, inaudible greetings which Hawke and Fenris both responded to by sardonically waving to entire group before the rumble of chatter presumed as if uninterrupted.

"About time you showed up," the dwarf rose without excusing himself as Anders and Aveline still sat together heartily laughing and shaking the splattered ale from their sleeves. He nodded his head to the long banquet table at the center of the room, waving her over to join him. "You ah- got a minute? There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"For you, my dear Varric?" Hawke smiled wryly and raised both of her arms in an embracing gesture. "I have all the time in the world."

"You're a doll," said the dwarf with a smirk and a roll of his eyes, picking up his tankard as he made his way to the table.

"It appears as though I am being granted a small reprieve," Hawke said casting Fenris a sidelong glance.

He was still standing beside her, with his arms now crossed over his chest and leaning back on one leg, smiling as he quietly snickered and shook his head. Following the elf's gaze, Hawke chuckled as her eyes once again fell on the scantily clad, pirate. Isabella was laughing villainously at her own antics as Sebastian continued squirming in his attempt to escape her and Merrill's twittering grasp.

"Go on," Hawke laughed with a nod of her head towards the shrinking prince. "Get over there and save that poor boy before Isabella has her way with him."

"I think he'll drop dead from shock before she ever has the chance to get that far," responded the elf as he still watched Isabella and Sebastian with cynical disdain. He began to walk toward them when he stopped, looking back to catch Hawke's gaze. The elf's large eyes fell to his feet and he fidgeted from side to side before clearing his throat. "Shall I- Order something for you?" He asked, bringing his searching eyes back to meet Hawke's piercing grey stare.

"I… could use a drink," Hawke laughed. She bit her lower lip as she turned her blushing face away from him. The elf's growing sweetness still managed to catch her by surprise. She attempted to look casual and adjusted her black leather tunic. "Hmm… When Norah comes back, ask her f-"

"For a pint of warm, Denerim ale?" Fenris interjercted as a knowing smile touched his lips.

Hawke's head twitched back as she gaped at the elf. "Am… I really that predictable?"

His smile broadened with satisfied amusement and he laughed, his expression brimming with adoration as he looked longingly into her bright eyes."Not in the least, Hawke," Fenris whispered softly, his smile transitioning into a cunning grin before fading back into look of pure and tender reverence."I just know you," he said, reaching a tentative steel armor, gloved hand to cup her face. Thinking better of it, he stopped himself mid way before gently placing it on the side of Hawke's shoulder and squeezed it affectionately. He smiled at her once more before walking away to aid the still cowering Sebastian.

Hawke stood momentarily stunned as she watched Fenris approach Isabella and the others. His words tirelessly ringing in her ears, _"I just know you."_ It was probably the sweetest thing any one had ever said to her… But it was also undoubtedly the scariest. She found herself staring at the door and wondering how long it would take her get to out of the Hanged Man and back to her estate in Hightown before anyone came after her, when she suddenly realized she was holding her breath. The color quickly drained from her face as she released it shakily; bringing a hand to her brow, she forced her feet to move in Varric's direction.

The dwarf was now standing at the head of the stone table; holding a hand to his lips as he puffed out his cheeks, making gurgling noises as if he were about to be ill. "Really- I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Could you tone down the smitten a few hundred degrees before you make me sick?"

Hawke laughed nervously, as she swung a leg over the low side bench and plopped herself down at the table."So ah… What tall tale did you use to lure Sebastian into joining us in this miserable pit of sin?" She asked with in wily tone, placing both arms in front of herself as she looked up into Varric's gallant face.

The dwarf's eyes only narrowed for a moment at her obvious evasion before he brought both hands to his chest daintily, imitating shock. "Hawke- I'm hurt. Do you honestly think that I would I ever take advantage of a man of the cloth?" He asked, as he seated himself in the massive dark marble chair at the end of the table.

Hawke smirked as she corked an eyebrow, shaking her head, "Of course you would."

"Ah- But alas, not today," Varric laughed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. "Choir Boy was looking for you actually," he said with a disinterested shrug. "Something about still being indebted to you for your help with the Flint companies men and the Harimann's."

She had only been half listening and nodded absentmindedly. As Varric spoke she had been waylaid by the sense of someone's eyes boring a hole in the side of her head. Upon turning her attention towards the source of her distraction, she found Anders staring back at her. His eyes overflowing with a bittersweet sadness as he gazed at her with undisguised yearning. He sighed and smiled faintly as she looked him quizzically before turning his regard back to Aveline, whom had not noticed his lack of interest in the topic at hand, and proceeded to rejoin their conversation.

"I wouldn't worry about our little renegade mage," said Varric as he placed a comforting hand over Hawke's.

She turned back to the dwarf, gawking at him. Hawke smiled before letting her eyes fall shamefully into her own lap. "Should- should I talk with him about-" Hawke wrestled with herself as she tried to find the right words, giving up she nodded her head towards Fenris.

"Nah," Varric unceremoniously waved a hand and smiled as he leaned back into his chair. "When I told Blondie about the job I have lined up for us tomorrow, he still insisted that he tag along. So I'm sure he's alright-"

"He did?" Hawke breathed, a surge of relief washing over her. "Wait-" she paused as the fleeting sense of ease quickly passed and was replaced with bafflement. She stared at the dwarf with furrowed eyebrows, "What job?"

Varric tapped the side of his nose, his smile turning mischievous. "One thing at a time, Hawke. You know I'll give you all the gory details... I think Blondie knew that something was going on with you and the elf," he continued with a quick glance back to Anders as he spoke. "He was just hoping that you might "_see reason_", I believe is how he phrased it."

Hawke's eye went wide and her jaw dropped, "For the sake of Andraste," she laughed as she too looked back at the healer with amused disbelief before propping her elbows up on the table. She leaned forward and moaned irritably as she rested her head in her hands. "Those two are far more alike than either would ever be willing to admit."

"I've always said so," the dwarf laughed. Turning back to face Hawke, he tilted his head to the side and drummed his fingers on the stone surface of the table as he considered her. "You're a lot like them too, you know?"

"Me? Well-" Hawke went on as she crossed an arm across her chest and brought a hand introspectively to her lips. "I'm certainly not as accomplished at mopping about like they are. But you're right, of course. I am fiendishly clever… and modest too."

Varric chuckled as they fell into a companionable silence, both watching the rowdy mirth that surrounded them. The dwarf began to smile as his eyes shifted from Hawke to the elf. Keenly aware of the way Fenris was looking at his dear friend and the way she was staring back at the brooding elf. He laughed silently to himself before taking a long pull of ale from his mug.

"Something on your mind, Varric?" Hawke asked, when she found the dwarf glaring at her.

"What is it you're so afraid of, anyway?"

"Ah- I… You… What?" She stammered.

"I'm not just talking about you and the elf being scared shitless of each other," Varric said coolly, his hazel eyes intently focused on hers as he leaned towards her, waving a finger through the air and gesturing to her and Fenris. "Even Daisy can see that. But wh-"

"Oh look!" Hawke interrupted shrilly, as Varric's regular waitress Norah entered the suite, with a tray full of drinks. She jolted onto her feet and made to head for the door "There's Norah! Better get in my drink order before she-"

"Hawke," Varric grumbled as he grabbed Hawke by the wrist, holding her where she stood.

She closed her eyes shut tight as she dropped back down onto the hard marble bench, sighing miserably. "I- I'm sorry…" Hawke grimaced as stared at the floor. "It's just… that's one hell of a question."

"A fair one, I think. Considering how often you runaway from everything… or everyone I should say."

"Varric… I-"

"Come on," Varric said, his eyes softening with as he watched Hawke uneasily fiddle with the laces on her leather tunic. "Broody, I get… I mean just look at him. Even his clothes scream: "I hate you all! I was a slave!" And Blondie, he's possessed by a demon, really not hard to imagine that making someone a little off centered. But then there's you," he cautiously reached out one of his large, leather gloved hands, placing gently to the bottom of Hawke's chin. He carefully raised her face so that her eyes met his and smiled. "You're beautiful, deadly _**and**_ hang out with fantastic dwarves. What is it that could possibly be holding you back?"

Hawke snorted back laughter as she shyly averted her eyes and took the dwarf's hand, holding it snuggly in her own. A sad smile crossing her face as she stared at their interlocked hands; she was afraid. She had never talked of about her fears with anyone- no one had ever asked. And it wasn't that she didn't want to share this with the dwarf. He was her closest friend and she trusted him implicitly. Hawke simply had no idea where to even begin.

"Look, I'll make a deal with you," Varric offered. "You tell me what you're afraid of and I'll tell you what scares me."

Hawke's eyes widened with genuine curiosity before a puckish smile flashed across her lips. "My infallible dwarf… is flawed?" She gasped, placing a hand over her mouth. "Maker's breath, whatever shall I do?"

Varric scoffed agitatedly as his head fell back onto his shoulders. "Really? Really?" He asked without any effort to counsel his growing annoyance.

"All right, all right," Hawke groaned letting her head fall onto the table with a thump, resting her forehead on the cool surface of the stone tabletop. "I'm sorry- it's…" she struggled, sighing as she sat up and continued to squirm in her seat. "You first?" Hawke suggested with a false toothy smile.

"Easy," the dwarf sighed. "I'm afraid of being forgotten."

Hawke didn't say anything at first. It made a strange kind of sense, considering Varric's proclivity for wild tales. It explained his skill, as well; after a lifetime being hounded by such a fear, the dwarf had presumably learned to keep it at bay. "Perils of being the second son?" She wondered.

"You got it. Second sons are backups. I can take being ignored, that's a whole different barrel of ale altogether. It's passing. But being forgotten, that's permanent. No one will remember that they forgot you, and that's that."

"I truly doubt that you'll ever be forgotten, Varric."

"Sweet of you to think so."

Hawke shrugged. "I could be wrong, naturally. Hard to say really. Bartrand leaving his entire crew for dead in the sodding Deep Roads for a little statue: pretty memorable," she finished with an enthusiastic nod.

Varric smirked. "And just like that, she ruins it all with one foul swoop," he said with a light chuckle as he stared at her. "So what is it, Hawke- do you even know what it is you're afraid of?"

"Unfortunately…" Hawke laughed as her eyes once again fell into her lap. "You know that… That I've…" she took in a deep breath, attempting to calm her nerves as she collected her thoughts. "I've been on the run for as long as I can remember, Varric. Always trying to get away from those blighted Templars," she scoffed as she brought a trembling hand to her to lips and closed her eyes shut tight, willing back the traitorous tears that threatened to fall down her cheeks before she continued. "Or anyone that might report us to the Templars," Hawke smiled wryly. "So, I would say that covers just about everyone."

The dwarf was quiet for a moment as he continued to gaze at her. His face a turning into a blank slat as he processed the information he'd been given. "And now you're surrounded…" Varric said slowly, an artful smile returning to his face, he grandly gestured with a wide relaxed swing of one arm to the rest of their party. "A room full of scary people that have actually had a chance to get to know and care about you. It must be a terrible burden."

Hawke laughed. "Gee, Thanks."

"No problem."

They fell silent once more as Hawke peered across the room, the corners of her lips twitching into an edgy smile while she attentively watched Fenris. He was in the process of approaching Norah as she reentered room with yet another tray drinks. The elf thanked her with an appreciative nod before relieving the waitress of two of her overflowing mugs.

"Listen," the dwarf said bringing Hawke's attention back to him. He turned away from the table as he rested his elbows on his knees, taking Hawke's hand and engulfing it in both of his own. "As _**your friend**_, I'd feel like I would be doing you a disservice if I didn't say something."**  
**

Hawke stared into Varric's golden eyes, overwhelmed by the depths of the dwarf's compassion and his understanding of who she was. She shook her head laughing silently to herself. She didn't know why she was surprised really, besides Aveline, she had known Varric longer than anyone else she had ever met. And somewhere along the way, he had not only become her friend… He had become family. Taking a short uneasy breath, she flashed the dwarf a meek smile before nodding her head, encouraging him to continue.

"Just, stop letting your fear get in the way, Hawke. It's not a good life to be always waiting the other boot to drop. You have to take what comes. Go for things, take risks, otherwise… you won't really have lived. That's all I'm saying," Varric finished letting go of her hand and leisurely falling back into his big chair. He smiled jestingly, "Besides, there's only so many circles you two can do around each other before you make yourselves nauseous."

"I…" Hawke laughed radiantly before clearing her throat. "I didn't realize you had a soft spot for brooding Tevinters."

"Eh- The elf _**is**_ covered with spikes, like an angsty porcupine. But… he's been growing on me."

"Oh dear," Hawke said with a wincing shiver, her roguish nature returning in full force. "You know you might want to have that looked at. It sounds like you just might have some kind of fungus."

Varric blinked dumbfound, before he bellowed with laughter. "Well, that would definitely explain all this blighted irritation. Maybe Blondie will have an ointment for that. Some sort of anti-angst balm." This time they both laughed, the sound of their unruly merriment drowning out the hubbub that still surrounded them.

Hawke sighed as the sudden urge to give the dwarf a big hug came over her. Without a seconds hesitation she stood up and leaned over the table, wrapping her arms snuggly around the dwarf's wide neck in an affectionate embrace. Pressing the side of her soft face firmly to Varric's scratchy cheek. He chuckled nervously before finally gently resting his massive hands on the back of Hawke's shoulders and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

"All right already," Varric said gruffly as he pulled away and loudly cleared his throat. "Lets cut this out before you make me cry."

She laughed as she sat back down and brought a kind hand to the dwarf's cheek before giving it a few rough teasing pats. "We can't have that now, can we," Hawke said softly, her smile growing as she felt her heart teeter on the verge of bursting.


	13. Tintop & Diamond Back

**AUTHORS NOTES: **Sorry for being late again folks. My schedule will probably be a bit off until August it seems. With the hubby and his teenage son both out of school for the summer, my hands seem to be a little full… strange. Once their classes start back up though, things will get back into a steady swing. Don't worry- I'm not going anywhere. I still will do my best to post every week, I unfortunately will just not be able to guarantee the timeline.

**Shout outs this week once again goes to cellotlix: To Be Free, ****mille libri****: At Your Side and last but not least, ****Milena Jace****: Raven.  
**

Fun things are in the works and I hope you all stay tuned!

* * *

**CHAPTER 13**

"I hope I'm not interrupting," came Fenris' baritone voice from behind Hawke's shoulder, his strong, lyirum-laced arm reaching over her as he gently placed a full tankard on the table before her.

She turned to the elf, giving him an approving smile when their eyes magnetically met. Hawke watched him as he stepped one leg over the bench and sat himself down, facing her.

"Thank you," she bashfully said, raising her mug to him.

As they stared fondly at one another, Varric scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Hey, elf," he leaned forward as he watched Fenris, a wicked twinkle glistening in his eyes. "I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Yes, what is it this time dwarf?" Fenris asked, placing his own ale and resting his elbow on the table before leaning over to meet the Varric's sly gaze.

"What is it you do in that gigantic house all day?" asked the dwarf, his tone staying casual as he made a visible effort to suppress a mischievous smile from settling itself across his broad features.

Hawke's scrutinizing eyes narrowed on the dwarf as she began to impatiently tap her foot on the wooden floor and crossed her arms primly over her chest, raising a suspicious eyebrow when Varric's gaze briefly met her own.

"What? Aren't you curious?"

Fenris tilted his head as he studied Varric, his expression turning neutral as he shrugged. "Dance, of course."

"R-really?" Varric asked.

"I run from room to room, choreographing routines."

Hawke snorted and elbowed Varric as he sat staring at the elf slack-jawed.

"Be still my heart," the dwarf laughed. "Serah dark and brooding is actually joking."

"And you thought I was always serious," Fenris deadpanned.

A sweet smile began to curve the corner of his lips when he allowed his eyes to meet with Hawke's. She was smiling admiringly back at him, quietly chuckling as her cheeks flushed red once more.

"So dwarf," the elf continued as he coyly turned to his ale. Swinging his other leg over the bench so that his body faced the table, he cleared his throat, "What is this job Sebastian was telling me about?"

"Ah," Varric beamed as he clapped his hands, rubbing them together with ravenous glee. "My Darktown contacts pulled through for me. Got me in touch with a lovely young lady from the Coterie. I think I might know where we can find our Qunari swindling friend-"

The dwarf was unable to complete his thought as Isabella's thunderous choking coughs echoed against the paper-thin walls. Causing everyone in the room to fall into a deafening silence, while they all stared at the pirate with curious concern.

Isabella mumbled a few choice curses as she slammed her empty tankard down on the table nearest to her, wiping her lips with the back of her forearm and locking her eyes on the door of Varric's suite. "Maker… is that the hour? I- ah… Have to see a man… About a dog."

"Isabella?" Hawke gawked at the pirate captain. Her eyebrows furrowing as Isabella began to hastily collect her things.

"Come on, Kitten," Isabella barked as she grabbed Merrill by one of her lanky forearms and pulled her along with her, making her way towards the door. "Must go."

"Uh- you're getting a puppy?" The innocent blood mage wondered serenely as Isabella dragged her out of the room. "Does he have spots and floppy ears?"

And with that, the door slammed shut behind them leaving the rest of them all staring at the heavy oak barrier with bewildered scowls.

Fenris turned back to Hawke, his eyes contracting with growing distrust. "Does anyone else find it strange that she always seems to have somewhere else to be whenever someone brings up the Qunari?"

"Does it matter?" Aveline snarled as she rose from her chair in the corner and came to stand behind Varric, her eyes still glaring at the closed door. "She probably is only out there trying to figure out who the father is."

They all burst out laughing, even Sebastian, though unlike the rest of them, he at least had the decencies to pretend to look ashamed about it.

"Aveline," Hawke said, wagging a scolding finger. "That wasn't very nice… even if it is highly probable."

Aveline grinned and rolled her eyes as she quietly chuckled to herself.

"You sticking around, Choir Boy?" Varric asked with a quick nod of his head.

Sebastian was standing in the corner of the room, looking from the door to Hawke, uncertain as to what he was supposed to do now that he was free of Isabella's groping clutches. A flicker of relief crossed his tanned face upon hearing the nickname the dwarf had bestowed upon him and he stepped towards the banquet table.

"If Serah Hawke so wishes," he said as he humbly bowed his head and crossed his arm across his chest. Smiling graciously as he raised his penetrating sky blue eyes to Hawke's steely greys, "I am in her debt after all."

"If this has anything to do with the Qunari- I'll take all the help I can get," Hawke laughed and gestured for him to take a seat. He bowed his head again before walking the length of the room and situating himself on the bench, across the table from Hawke. "Are you this courtly with everyone, Sebastian? Or just with the people that track down and kill assassins for you?" She asked, grinning deviously.

Sebastian shrugged, "Early training does tend to stay with a person and my mother did teach me to be courteous with all ladies. Especially one with deadly skills such as your own."

"Oh stop," Hawke fanned her face with her hand and batted her eyelashes. "You're making me blush."

"Your mother clearly covered all the contingencies," Varric said with a smirk, "Smart woman."

"Varric," Aveline drawled threateningly, "Why is this the first I am hearing-"

"Is… this seat taken?" Anders quiet voice interjected as the dwarf and guard captain began to discuss Aveline's distaste with Varric's communication with the city guard, or lack there of.

Hawke turned to find that the mage was now standing at her side, his expression was frightfully serious as his eyes looked paced her and directly to the growling elf that sat next to her. Anders wasn't really asking if the seat was free- he was asking for permission to sit with her. She gaped at him.

"Fenris?" Hawke whispered sweetly, placing a hand on his shoulder as he continued to glare up at the mage. "It's alright." She leaned in close to the elf's long, slender ear, her lips almost grazing his skin as she murmured, "Remember? Those stubby ears- they simply won't do for me."

He shivered slightly as he pulled away, his evergreen eyes flicking to hers, his cheeks blazing red. She flashed him a toothy smile and fluttered her lashes. Fenris' eyes narrowed as a smirk curled the corner of his lips. Shaking his head, he rolled his eyes before reluctantly sliding down the bench.

Hawke silently clapped her hands returning her gaze to Anders and greeted him with a broad smile. "Of course not," she said, patting the freed space on the bench beside her.

He sighed and smiled timidly, pulling up his coat as he stepped over the low stone and took his seat. Hawke watched him carefully, unable to prevent the worried knot that began to tie itself in her throat.

"We're all right… aren't we?" She croaked. "I mean… We're still friends?"

"Hawke," Anders' head flinched back in surprise. His eyes fell briefly into his lap and he gulped before hesitantly looking back at her. "You are a good friend," he said, a tender smile gradually spreading acrossed his rugged, masculine features. "Better than I deserve."

"Oh come now," Hawke said. She released a long relieved breath as she continued to search the mage's hazel eyes, before laughing and swinging an arm loosely around his broad shoulders and neck. Pulling Anders into a sideways hug and letting her head clunk against his as she leaned into him. "Thank you," she said, still smiling as she released him from her embrace.

Turning back to Fenris, Hawke offered the elf a reassuring smile; and as if out of an old habit, she instinctively reached under the table and took the elf's slender, battle worn hand, lacing her delicate fingers with his as she brought it to herself. Gently placing their joined hands in her lap.

Neither Fenris nor Hawke said a word as the elf gawked at her. His eyes wide and eyebrows raised in astonishment.

Hawke gasped, dropping his hand like it was a hot iron. "I- I just… I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"No, it's… it's alright," Fenris managed, taking back her hand and interlocking it within his own as he inched the slightest bit closer to her. Making it so that the sides of their knees rested against one another. He sighed, his devoted gaze still fixed with hers as an earnest smile graced his lips. "All that you give me," the elf whispered, "I will learn to give you in return."

Hawke grinned, glowing radiantly as her smile stretched from ear to ear. "Still a romantic, I see," she laughed. Biting her lip, she lightly nudged him in the side with her shoulder before quickly returning her attention to Varric and the others at the table.

Her head lurched back upon finding Varric's sneering face glowering murderously across the massive, stone table at Sebastian. The prince appeared to be shrinking uneasily, edging carefully down the bench and away from the snarling dwarf.

She couldn't help but smirk as she eagerly glanced from Sebastian and back to Varric. _Oh- this should be good, _Hawke thought, leaning forward and resting her free arm on the table. Propping her head up, as she slumped forward onto her raised hand.

"-Well, sometimes your shots veer a little left," Sebastian said. "I thought maybe your cocking ring was off. I could take a look if you like."

"Isn't suicide considered "a sin in the eyes of the Maker"?" Anders asked, smiling with vicious delight as he too watched the tension building between the dwarf and prince with interest.

"It's a shame," Fenris said, "I was just starting to like him, too."

"You want to... Touch Bianca's cocking ring?" Varric asked.

"It was just a thought," Sebastian mumbled, looking to Hawke in confusion, his eyes pleading her for help.

"Well," Varric spat, "you can take your _**pointers**_ and your _**thought**_ and shove it up your-"

"So Varric-" Hawke said, reaching over the table and clasping her hand soothingly over Varric's. "What news do you have on our dear, old friend Javaris?" She asked, with an insincere smile.

"Don't poke the dwarf," Aveline quietly grumbled from the corner of her lips, shaking her head as she condescendingly patted the prince's shoulder.

Hawke and Anders both snorted back laughter as Varric continued to glare at Sebastian.

"Right," he growled, primly adjusting his coat before he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and bringing his hands together contemplatively. "Javaris had a rather pathetic lot with the Coterie. Limited districts, limited contracts, blah, blah, blah," he said in a bored tone, waving a hand. "Since the members of the Coterie's little fellowship demand a certain amount of… privacy, they generally don't like turning in their members," the dwarf paused a cunning smile curling his lips as he glanced over his captive audience. "But our Missere Tintop got out of dodge with dues left outstanding."

Hakwe scoffed, "My, my, my- sounds to me like he's made himself quite a few friends."

"My thoughts exactly," Varric said smiling broadly. "My contacts put him at Smuggler's Cut, probably avoiding patrols. Those tunnels lead out to some caves on the Wounded Coast. Shouldn't be hard to track him from there."

They all sat in silence, considering the information as they exchanged perplexed glances with one another. Hawke couldn't say she knew Javaris all that well, but still. Something seemed… Off. It all seemed too easy, too convenient.

"Javaris doesn't exactly sound like a mastermind at work, here," Anders said, his brow furrowed.

"For once," Fenris scowled, "We agree on something."

"Do you think it's a trap?" Sebastian wondered.

"It certainly wouldn't be the first time," said Hawke.

"I will bring along a couple of my guardsmen to be on the safe side. If Tintop really is responsible for stealing the Saar-qamek, intentionally or not, we don't want to let him get the drop on us," Aveline finished sternly, as she turned her gaze to Hawke. "Hawke, do you-" she stopped, the guard captain's humorless expression quickly fading into one of puzzled amusement. "Late night, Hawke?"

"Huh?"

"Aren't those the clothes you were wearing yesterday?" Aveline asked as she pointed to Hawke's black ox hide tunic.

"Uh… oh," Hawke gaped with her head snapping down as she looked herself over, the memory of her previous evening being spent fire side with Fenris flooding back to as she studied her expired leather clothing. She started to blush when she caught the elf staring at her from the corner of her eye. He was shyly looking at her with his cheeks painted a mild tint of rose and the sweetest smile she had ever seen, causing her face to redden all the more severely.

Varric began to chuckle. Resting his elbows on the arms of his chair as he thoughtfully brought his hands together in front of his face, "Yes, Hawke," the dwarf said with a wicked grin, staring from Hawke to the elf. "Anything you two care to share with the rest of the class?"

"You two-" Aveline started with interest. Her wide-eyed gaze reeling on Fenris.

The elf began to cough loudly and Hawke laughed, a shrill, high pitched nervous sound before taking and slamming back the rest of her ale in one fluid motion. With her mug drained, she released a long hissing breath and brought her it back down with a hollow thud before throwing out her arms wide into a stretch, feigning an exhausted yawn.

"Maker, I should be getting home. Big day tomorrow, saving Kirkwall, need my beauty sleep and all," Hawke said as she shot up onto her feet. Nearly falling over the bench in her rush to get away from them all.

Fenris quickly stood beside her, gracefully maneuvering his legs over the low stone bench and taking one of Hawke's arms firmly in his hand. Supporting her as she found her balance once more.

Laughing, Hawke slapped a palm to her forehead. A tight smile spreading across her face as she rested it there and allowed her head and body to slump forward with embarrassment.

"Oh sit down, Hawke," Varric said, waving them both down. "It's not like everyone wouldn't have found out about you love birds sooner or later."

Hawke laughed, "Certainly not with you around."

"What can I say? I can never resist sharing a good story," the dwarf said as he casually fell back into his chair. "Stay, I'll buy you both another round."

Hawke turned her gaze to Fenris. He was still standing at her side, with his hand offering steady support. The elf stared back at her with a knowing smile as he chuckled to himself and shrugged. He knew that despite Hawke's resistance- she would never willing turn Varric down… especially when he was offering drinks.

She sighed; dramatically rolling her eyes she plopped herself back down on the stone bench. "Oh, if you insist," Hawke said as Fenris calmly sat back down beside her.

"Norah!" Varric shouted, "My dear woman- please, we are in desperate need ale."

"Be right with you, love," Norah shouted back from outside Varric's suite.

"Diamond back?" Anders suggested, with a cunning smile as he removed a worn deck of cards from his feathered coats, inner pocket.

The dwarf greedily snatched the cards from Anders hands, fanning them out and pulling them back before beginning a pharaoh shuffle. "Now we're talking."

"You mean you intend to lose all of your coin to me, mage?" Fenris asked, leaning forward over the table, peering at Anders with a raised eyebrow. "I'm glad we're staying then."

Anders winced, his eyes continuing to glare at elf as Varric began to skillfully deal the faded cards. Leaning in close to Hawke, he whispered in her ear, "At this rate, I'll still be paying him back when I'm dead."

"Then, why in the Maker's name did you suggest it?" She laughed, picking up her cards and guardedly beginning to sort through them.

Anders shrugged, "If it keeps you here a little longer. I'm willing to lose a few soveriegns."

"You're trying to make my life more difficult than it already is... Aren't you?" Hawke asked, only half joking as she coolly studied his face.

"Is it working?" He winked at her as he reached for his mug of ale. He was abruptly stopped when Hawke's elbow met with his rib cage. Anders coughed, clutching his side, his playful smile remaining firmly in place.

"No Isabella to cheat and rub me of ever piece of silver I have?" Aveline said, nodding with approval. "I'm in," the guard captain pushed Sebastian further down the bench and sat herself down beside him as she signaled for Varric to deal her in.

"I will abstain from your… game," Sebastian said, careful to avoid mentioning his aversion to gambling of any kind. "But I will stay for the company and an ale if it is all the same to you?"

"It's a free city, Choir Boy," Varric said as he examined his own hand. "Just don't get all preachy as we sit here wallowing in our own sin. Makes it so much harder to enjoy."

They all laughed as the settled into a long night of drinking, sharing stories and playing cards. Hawke found herself occasionally looking over their gang of merry misfits with a mystified smile. Varric was right, of course. She was surrounded. People that truly knew and cared were all around her. And for the first time, instead of looking for her nearest exit- she found that there was nowhere else she'd rather be. She felt… comfortable.

It was home. This, being there with her closest friends, being with Fenris, Varric and Anders; it was her very own loud, dysfunctional, wonderful home.

_How __did I get so lucky?_


	14. Hunters at Smuggler's Cut

**CHAPTER 14**

The next morning Hawke groaned miserably, scrunching her nose with distaste as they made their way through the treacherous passageways that lay hidden within the rotten sewers of Kirkwall. She stopped, lifting her right foot high off the ground to examine the stinking waste that now clung to the bottom of her boot.

"Ah," Fenris said smiling wryly, passing Hawke an amused glance from over his shoulder as he continued to make his way down the dark tunnel. "Hawke stepped in the poopy."

"What did I do to deserve this?" She whined as she scrapped her foot across the top of a large, sharp stone.

"Well," Varric said, his tone and expression turning gravely serious as he paused beside her, rubbing the back of his neck. "Do you… Want the whole list or just the abbreviated version? I mean this could take a while."

Hawke punched Varric in the shoulder and they both laughed. Their mirth reverberating off the slime covered walls.

"Come on," Hawke said with a sluggish wave, "We don't want to miss out on any of the fun." She sighed before reluctantly picking up her feet as she moved onward.

The dwarf begrudgingly followed. "Hooray," he deadpanned.

As they rejoined the others, Hawke's eyes scanned over the many faces that accompanied them. They all looked just about as miserable as she felt. Fitting really, considering where they were.

Aveline had taken lead, trudging stubbornly forward with the two guards she had insisted on bringing with them, guardsmen Donnic and guardswoman Brennan, following dutifully behind her. Their mighty guard captain had been distracted throughout the morning and was a little more on edge than usual.

Not that the idea of walking into a cloud of Qunari poison put any of them at ease; but it seemed as though most of Aveline's distress was being provoked by one of her own. Guardsman Donnic.

* * *

"_Looks like your Missere Tintop is traveling pretty light," Donnic said as he knelt down, careful not to let his knees touch the ground while he and Brennan studied the fallen supplies and fresh tracks that were left behind in the layers of goo and filth._

"_Y-yes," Aveline stammered, as the guardsman rose next to her and locked his eyes with hers. The guard captain's face turned almost as red as her hair as she gaped at him, plainly sidetracked from all other lines of thought. "And… and it's a real nice day for the morning, isn't?"_

_Donnic's eyebrows furrowed with confusion as he quickly turned away from her, "As you say…"_

"_Ugh," Hawke muttered to Varric as she buried her face in her hands. "Painful."_

"_Maybe it would be easier if I just drew the man a picture of where she wants to touch him."_

_Hawke snorted, "Please! I would pay to see that. And honestly, it can't get any worse."_

* * *

Sebastian's presence certainly wasn't helping Aveline's current mood either. To the guard captain's growing annoyance, he had been keeping apace with her all morning and was thus nipping at her heels. They all knew he meant well but even his simple act of lingering around in Kirkwall, Aveline found to be rather worrisome. So having him doggedly at her side kept her concerns about the Prince of Starkhaven fresh and boiling over.

* * *

"_What have I done now?" Sebastian asked calmly, with a self-assured smile gracing his regal features. "You look as though you wish to scold me."_

"_You're still here," she barked, "Don't you have some land somewhere you should be reclaiming?"_

_Varric burst out laughing causing Aveline's face to snap to the side, as she glared murderously at the dwarf from over her shoulder. He brought a balled up fist to cover his mouth, coughing to conceal his continued laughter. Hawke patted him on the back as she bit down on her lower lip and tried desperately not to laugh herself._

"_Sorry," Varric finally croaked. "There was a tickle in my throat."_

"_Mmhmm," the guard captain sneered as she lumbered further down the tunnel._

* * *

Hawke and Varric brought up the rear, being sure to leave plenty of room between them and the hurricane that was raging at the heart of their party. Anders and Fenris had been at each other's throats since the moment they laid eyes on each other early that morning.

Hawke rubbed her temples as they went, hoping to ease the tension of her throbbing headache from the sound of their ceaseless arguing and the terrible hangover she was suffering from. She really was going to have to stop letting Varric talk her into drinking the night before one of their escapades. She could have sworn that Anders and Fenris had actually been rather civil to one another, friendly even.

Then again, Hawke couldn't say for certain how she had gotten home. She was just relieved to have woken up there. Even though it had led to a rather interesting conversation with Bodhan and her mother as to why she had decided to sleep on the stairs… _Oops_.

Hawke had thought or hoped really, that since Anders and Fenris some how managed to co-exist peacefully the previous evening that they would be able to continue to do so henceforth. She had evidently been completely and utterly wrong in her naïve assumptions. To her increasing dismay and Varric's amusement, Anders had seemingly taken it upon himself to illuminate all of Fenris' numerous shortcomings, along with generally vexing the elf whenever and however possible.

After a few hours of navigating themselves through the stinking rubbish and enormous, sharp rocks that were scattered throughout the bleak tunnels of Smuggler's Cut, they finally reached the blinding sun that poured in through the passages exit. As they all staggered out onto the shore, Hawke dropped herself down onto a giant boulder next to Varric. She leaned back, propping herself up with both arms, allowing her head to slump back as she closed her eyes.

"Who knew I would ever be so happy to smell rotting fish," Varric grumbled.

Hawke chuckled silently. At the moment, she couldn't give two sods about the dead fish or Javaris and the Saar-qamek. All she really wanted to do was to take a nap... And a bath probably wouldn't hurt._**  
**_

She felt a hand sliding slowly down the length of her arm as someone sat carefully beside her. Opening her eyes she found Fenris' handsome face looking back at her. He smiled before turning his gaze down to his belt and removed the dark water skin that hung there. He popped off its cork before generously offering it to her. Hawke smiled appreciatively, letting her hand graze his before taking it and closing her eyes once more as she guzzled down the cool liquid.

"Thank you," she breathed, her eyes still closed as she attempted to hand his bottle back. But nothing happened. Confused, she reopened her eyes.

The elf was no longer looking at her, and there was a bitter scowl spreading across his face. "Is there something you want, Anders?"

Hawke shuttered before following Fenris' gaze to the tree where the mage was now leaning against.

Anders' arms were crossed tightly over his chest as he glared suspiciously at the glowering elf. He shrugged, "You really don't have the temperament for a slave."

"Is that a compliment or an insult?"

"I'm just wondering how your master didn't kill you," Anders said with bored condescension as he examined his fingernails.

Hawke slapped the palm of her hand to her forehead, resting it there while she began to groan. Varric still sat next to her, snorting and fidgeting as he again, choked back laughter.

"How have the Templars not killed you?"

"I'm charming,"Anders said, flashing Hawke a sidelong smile.

Fenris growled as he shoved himself off the stone in which they sat, aggressively pushing his way through Aveline and her guard as he made his was down the beach.

"Is it always like this?" Brennan asked.

"You mean the constant bickering?" Aveline snarled.

"I wouldn't say constant," Varric said smiling shrewdly. "Only when Hawke is here."

Sebastian chuckled, "But Hawke is always with us."

"My point exactly."

"Really, there's just so much love here… It's very comforting," Hawke said as she to rose to her feet before stomping off after the elf. "Fenris, wait up!"

He was already half down the beach, stopping mid stride, Fenris sighed as he turned just enough to watch as Hawke jogged towards him. When she reached him, he scoffed, "What _**Company**_ you keep."

"I'm sorry," she said her eyes peering into his, tired and pleading. "I swear he's not all bad-"

"He is a deranged and hypocritical mage, that's serving as a host to an _**oh**_ so benign spirit of vengeance," Fenris finished with a melodramatic roll of his eyes.

"Pfft. You and your logic," she said with a wave, her usual mischievous smile flashing briefly across her face."Unfortunately for you… we do need him, Fenris," sighing, she ran a quick hand through her short mess of hair. "He is an incredible healer. Maker knows he's saved us both on more than one occasion… And he is actually quite funny when he pulls that stick out of his ass."

In spite of himself, Fenris laughed, his face softening as he looked longingly into Hawke's gentle eyes.

"You and Anders," she started, shuffling her feet, "You're both… You're important to me and-"

"And when the day comes that this _**spirit**_ over takes him? What then?" He interrupted, his voice was stern, but his expression showed nothing but genuine concern.

She laughed,** "**_**If **_and when that happens, I assure you, I will put him to the blade myself," Hawke said stepping towards him, her gaze unwavering.

Fenris gaped at her. She meant it. Every single word, and though it would undoubtedly break her heart, Hawke could not and would not let Anders become a true abomination. She knew only too well what such a creature would be capable of. The elf gulped; unable to speak he nodded his understanding.

Hawke sighed warily as she raised a hand and rested it gently on the crook of Fenris' neck. "Until then… I really would like to be friends with both of you."

"Just friends?" He asked smiling slyly, "I suppose that's a start."

"Are you mocking me?" Hawke laughed, her cheeks beginning to ache and burn as she smiled back at him.

"Perish the thought. Why would I ever mock you?"

Their eyes locked and everything around them seemed to fade away. Fenris started to painstakingly lower his lips towards hers, wrapping his trembling fingers around her waist as he drew her near. Hawke could feel the heat of his touch all the way through his gloves and her layers of leather and padding. She shivered as she tilted her head slightly back, their mouths coming within inches of each other.

"You two done sucking on each others faces or what?" Varric called over to them with a wicked chuckle. The dwarf had just stepped out from behind a large boulder back down the beach and was leaning on one leg with his arms crossed as looked on with an amused smirk.

Hawke growled loudly before burying her reddened face in both her hands. "VARRIC!" She wailed, half laughing. "I really do hate you sometimes."

The dwarf laughed before turning and tossed Hawke a playful wink from over his shoulder. "It's mutual, sweet heart. Come on, you're going to want to see this," he said, waving them back over before disappearing behind the colossal stone from which he came.

Letting her arms flop down to her sides, Hawke blew her long wispy bangs out of her face as she stared helpless back at Fenris. He was holding an arm crossed over his plated chest and brought his opposing hand to his face, briefly concealing their shared embarrassment. Hawke giggled nervously and cleared her throat, turning quickly on her heel before bolting down the beach towards where Varric had been, not looking to see if the elf would follow. She knew that he would.

The dwarf had not wandered far, having only moved a yard or two inland, Hawke spotted him and their other companions easily. She and Fenris hiked up the path to find themselves standing in what looked like and abandoned camp site. There was a makeshift fire pit with sand kicked carelessly over it, and there were pots, eating utensils and other essential survival supplies strewn on the ground all around them.

"This is all… very strange," Varric said as Hawke and Fenris came along beside him while he scratched the back of his head.

"Why's that?" Asked Sebastian.

"Javaris is a business man," Fenris said. "If he were going to try to make enough explosives to distribute-"

"He'd need more men," Hawke said as she knelt down in front of the abandoned fire pit, staring at it curiously.

"Exactly," Varric agreed, "You remember this little squirt don't you?" He continued, directing his question towards Aveline. "The first time we crossed paths with him, he was traveling with at least six hired thugs-"

"Looks like he's got maybe two, three men with him tops," Anders said as he came to Hawke's side and squatted down beside her, resting his elbows on his knees as his eyes continued to scan over the camp. "And this is all just-"

"Sloppy," Varric interjected, bewildered. "If he was a real thief, he would know better than to leave such an obvious trail… I mean, come on, this is amateur hour," he said disapprovingly as he gestured to scattered supplies that littered the sand.

"Lovely," Aveline sighed.

"What?" Varric asked incredulously.

"This just looks like a mad escape attempt," Hawke said, her fingers digging into the sand and pulling out a long twig. She began to root around the burnt wood and ash with the tip of her stick; it didn't take long for her to discover the orange embers that lay hidden there. She jabbed her stick into them and flames sprouted out, clinging to the logs that remained. She rose quickly to her feet, "Well- someone did a piss poor job of putting out the fire."

"He couldn't have gotten far then," Aveline said in an authoritative tone and looked to Donnic and Brennan. "We should fan out, if there are as few of them as it appears we can-"

"QUIET!" Fenris shouted abruptly.

Every one of them jerked with surprise before turning their attention to the elf. At some point during their conversation he had headed back towards the tunnels exit. His back was to them, and he shouldered were rising and falling more noticeably with every breath as the tips of his long ears twitched with alertness.

"Elf?" Varric asked, concern etching itself into his broad features as he edged slightly forward.

Fenris flinched back a hand, urging them all to remain silent.

They all froze where they stood, straining their blunt ears in attempt to gleam insight into the threat that was lurking within the shadows. Hawke was the first to break free from the stunned silence. Unnerved by Fenris rigid stance, she moved quickly to his side.

When she reached him, his greatsword was already hanging limp in his hand. "They're here," the elf said emotionlessly, without looking at her.

Her blood turned cold, as the color drained from her face. She felt a rage burning within her that she did not even realize existed until that moment. Hawke knew exactly who the "they" were. Without another word she artfully removed her daggers from their sheathes, baring her teeth as she crouched into position.

"Stop right there," a deep voice called from the shadows. A man dressed from head to toe in black armor with the golden Tevinter seal embedded into his chest plate emerged. Coming out behind him were three similar clad men, and one tall, pale mage in black gold trimmed robes. The leader removed his helmet as he continued to move forward.

Hawke swiftly raised a hand into the air gesturing the others to fall in. A moment later Varric was at her side with his beloved crossbow at the ready. Sebastian flanked Fenris' left, his grandfather's gorgeous bow drawn and arrow hanging limply in his fingers. Anders came directly behind Hawke as he elegantly spun his staff from off his shoulders. Raising it above his head before slamming its end into the ground, casting his green aura of valiance over them. While Aveline and her guard took positions around their perimeter, their short swords and metal shields in hand.

"You are in the possession of stolen property. Back away from the slave now and you'll be spared."

Hawke spat at the Tevinter commander's feet in disgust, "Fenris is a free man!"

"Fine-," said the commanding officer with a nod of his head. More than a dozen men began slowly coming out from hiding places all around, entrapping them as they closed in, "Take this pretty one here as well. I'm sure we could find a use for you," he said, licking his lips.

One of his armored thugs that was positioned closest to Hawke swaggered confidently forward, while he cast his hungry eyes up and down the length of her body. Fenris' defensively raised his sword, stepping in front of her and baring his teeth as his lyirum markings flared across his skin.

"We're ready for you," Anders' voice was quiet and lethal. He raised his hand, fingers splayed and cast the familiar shimmering purple haze of his arcane shield around Hawke.

She dexterously flipped the blades in her hands, prepared to attack if the little idiot decided to come any closer. "Go ahead," Hawke snickered, "Try me."

The Tevinter goon chuckled to himself as he continued his advance towards her when an arrow suddenly appeared, sticking out of the center of the man's forehead. He stared at it with crossed eyes before comically falling to his knees and than flat onto his face.

"Gentlemen, this Bianca," Varric growled, his face contorted with fury holding his crossbow steadily aimed at the commander's chest while it automatically clicked another arrow into place. "You want to run that one by me, again?"

Their leader scowled deeply, raising his sword and pointing its tip at Fenris' face. Apparently un-phased by the death of one of his men, and focused only on detaining the elf that stood before him, "This is your finally warning. Step away from the slave, now!"

"I AM NOT YOUR SLAVE!" Fenris roared and violence erupted all around them as a vibrant blue light flashed acrossed the sand and the elf's giant blade clashed against the commander's armor. Sending the man flying backwards before he brutally smashed against a wall of stone and crumbled to the ground.

Hawke bolted to the elf's side and she began moving in and out of the path of Fenris' sword as he attacked one Tevinter after the other. Both moving with impossible speed and grace. It was almost too easy defeat them. For every slaver that got too close, Hawke would spin round into the slaver's blind spots before returning to slice at the back of their knees. Leaving them tumbling to the ground for Fenris to catch them as he plunged his clenched fist into the man's chest, both of them already moving onto the next as the slaver sank dead onto the golden sand.

Anders brazenly charged the black robed mage, "Suck on a fire ball!" He shouted as he sent a humongous ball of fire flying through the air and almost hit its intended target. But the gangly mage quickly cast a burst of rushing air out from his staff, causing the flames to disperse around him and setting fire to the Tevinter mage's own guards. The men screamed in agony as they fell to the ground and the two mages became interlocked in a heated battle.

Varric and Sebastian stood back to back in the middle of the fray, sending arrows through the air with breath taking procession. Taking men down and pinning others where they stood, aiming for the Tevinter's boots. Allowing Aveline, Donnic and Brennan the freedom to move forward on the battlefield without fear as they ferociously cut through the horde of tactless men.

The fight was long but with their combined efforts, they took down most of the armored assailants with relative ease. When the last fell, the black robed Tevinter was all that remained. The two mages were still throwing spells and screaming enchantments tirelessly at one another when suddenly Anders roared raising a trembling fist above his head with visible strain before slamming it down into the ground sending earth and stone flying all around him, bringing a crushing prison down on the Tevinter blood mage.

The man whaled as he stumbled onto the ground, clutching his chest. Anders held the man there weakening him to the brink of death before releasing his spell and staggering back. His face pale and drenched with sweat as he flopped down, sprawling out on the coarse earth as if he were about to make snow angels in the sand.

"Anders!" Hawke shouted, running over to him. She fell to her knees beside him, rummaging through the pouch on her belt before removing a flask of healing potion.

"I'm alllll right," Anders slurred as Hawke wrestled him into a seated position before allowing him to slump back against her.

"Yes," she laughed before biting down on the bottles cork and ripping it out with her teeth. "Some picture of health, you are. Drink this," she commanded as she brought the flask of red bubbling liquid to his lips.

Anders groaned.

Meanwhile, Fenris advanced on the fallen magister, the lyrium pulsing over his skin; a second, deadly heart. He seized a fistful of the magister's hair and pulled his head back violently, and drove a knee into his back pinning the disgusting wretch where he lay.

"Where is he?" His words seeped through his grating teeth, sharp and deadly.

"I don't know!" The magister cried. "Please- Don't kill me!"

Without warning, Fenris smashed the magister's head into the sand. "Don't lie to me, mage," he hissed. "TELL ME!"

"I- Don't know! I swear!" the magister sputtered through a mouthful of dirt and blood.

"LIES!" Fenris bellowed as he tightened his grip. His muscles banding as he prepared to brake the mage's neck, but the magister cried out at the last moment.

"Wait! Please! Ha-Hadriana brought us," he said thickly, his voice trembling.

The elves eyes widened, his body shivered and his face turned violent with intense rage. "WHERE IS SHE?!"

"She- she's at the Holding Caves north of the city. I can show you the way," the magister said, gasping.

"No need," Fenris snarled. "I know the ones you speak of."

"Then let me go," the magister pleaded. His voice had become high and plaintive, and his eyes were wide with an animal fear.

Fenris saw something coming towards him and his helpless prey in his peripheral vision. Without relinquishing his hold of the mage, he raised his gaze to find Hawke and Varric standing before him. They where both glaring down mercilessly at the vile creature writhing in the sand, Fenris held his position as he looked up into Hawke's delicate face where her fury raged on, palpable as an uncontrollable flame held too close to his skin.

Varric scoffed, turning away disinterestedly as he headed back towards the others. Anders was barely managing to stay upright while Sebastian and Aveline stood at his sides, supporting the entirety of his weight of their shoulders as Donnic and Brennan looked on. Disgust written plainly on all of their faces.

Fenris didn't move as he carefully watched Hawke as she continued to stare down at the blood mage at her feet. She looked as though she might kick him in the face when her cold eyes flicked to the elves. Hawke nodded once and the elf returned his attention to doomed soul that lay before him.

"You chose the wrong master," Fenris hissed and with a quick jerk, he snapped the mage's neck his lifeless body slumping immediately forward, dead before it hit the ground.

The elf leapt to his feet, staring absently off into the distance as the years of his accumulative anger boiled over. He clenched his fist so tightly that his steel armored fingers pierced the palms of his hands and blood trickled onto the yellow sand by his feet. "Hadriana," he growled. "I was a fool to think I was free. They'll never let me be!"

"Is this someone you know?" Hawke asked as she stepped towards him, her eyes still watching the corpse of the mage suspiciously. She removed her daggers from their sheathes once more, holding them tightly in her hands, daring the corpse to rise.

"My old master's apprentice," Fenris spat. "I remember her well. A sniveling social climber that would sell her own children of she thought it would please Danarius," he turned to Hawke, staring at her with a flurry of tangled emotions as his lips twitched into a wretched scowl. "If she's here, it's at his bidding. I knew he wouldn't let this go."

"Then why are we standing around?" Hawke asked venomously. Ready to do whatever was necessary to end this loathsome creature, Hadrianna's existence.

"We need to stop these maleficarum before this goes any further," Sebastian said.

"I agree," Hawke turned to Aveline, prepared to rebut any argument she was about to throw her way. "Aveline-" To her surprise, when she turned to the guard captain, she staring back at her with her eyebrows furrowed and looked just as enraged as she and surely Fenris felt.

"Slavers in my city? Not if I can help it," she said as she began to pace irritably, back and forth across the bloodied sand. "This situation with the Qunari explosives, poison, whatever it is- it can't wait. The Arishok is just for itching an excuse to end this _**peace**_. We'll handle Javaris," Aveline said gesturing to guardsmen Donnic and guardswoman Brennan before she returned her glaring eyes back to Hawke's, bringing her pacing to a stop, her expression firm and resolved. "If he's as stupid as he appears to be, the three of us shouldn't have a problem bringing him in. You put a stop to this Hawke. Whatever it takes."

"Good to be a friends with Captain-of-the-Guard," Varric said with a puckish grin. He still held Bianca cradled in his arms as he lovingly polished her clean of splattered blood and gore.

Aveline muttered under her breath as she waved an arm signaling for her guards to follow her. They began to take the trail of abandoned supplies inland. "Be careful, Hawke," Aveline called without looking back. "Try not to get yourselves killed."

"The Holding Caves held slaves in the old times. But apparently they are no longer abandoned," Fenris said, stepping towards Hawke, his eyes locked with hers. "We must go quickly. Before Hadriana has a chance to prepare- or flee."

"Right, let's not waste anymore time," Hawke said, nodding her agreement as she re-sheathed her daggers. "Looks like we've got some hunting to do."

"Hawke-" Anders said sternly, stumbling towards her.

"Anders," she sighed exasperatedly. Hawke was fully aware of what the Anders probably thought about all of this. She wasn't about to let him stop her. No one. No one did something like this to someone she loved… cared so deeply for, and got away with it. "You're not going to talk me out of this. If you have a problem with taking down deranged slavers or sodding blood mages, go with Aveline and we will catch up with you later."

"No," Anders said. "I'm coming with you, Marian. These… Mages... They're monsters. I'm not just going to stand by, watch you run off to Maker knows where and let one of these bastards bleed you dry." He smiled wryly before directing his attention to Fenris. "They are blood mages after all. And I'm sure they're very adapt at finding ways to get it. If nothing else, you'll need someone there to patch the lot of you up when all is said and done."

Hawke tilted her head as she held back a laugh and studied the mage carefully. She turned her eyes to Fenris to find him glaring at Anders disapprovingly before returning his gaze to hers. A moment of wordless communication passed between them and Hawke shrugged while the elf shook his head, rolling his eye as he began stringing together a rather impressive line of grumbled curses.

"You know I would never refuse your aide," Hawke said snickering. She quickly collected herself as she breathed out a long relieved breath, "Thank you."

"Maker watch over us," Sebastian prayed.

"We're with you, elf," Varric said as he swung his crossbow back on to his shoulders. "Lead the way."

"Make yourself useful or steer clear of me," Fenris barked as he began to march down the beach, slamming his shoulder into Anders' as he passed with Varric and Sebastian following closely behind him.

"You're welcome," Anders mumbled miserably.

Hawke snorted as she approached Anders, smiling appreciatively. "Thank you," She whispered sweetly into the mage's ear, putting a kind hand on his shoulder before she walked by him and quickly followed after the others.

Once she caught up with them, she moved to Fenris' side. He looked at her, his expression bleak and seemingly surprised to find her there.

"What?" Hawke asked, "Did you honestly think I would let you go through this alone?"

"I... n-no," the elf cleared his throat and nodded. "Thank you, Hawke."

She smiled bitterly, "Thank me when this over. In the mean time, I say we take the guard captain's advice and try not to die in the process."

The atmosphere turned quietly grim as Hawke, Fenris, Varric, Anders and Sebastian all made their way up the Wounded Coast, towards the gruesome and inevitable carnage that lay on their horizon.


	15. Bitter Pill

**Author's Notes: **Sorry folks. This is the same chapter from yesterday- but I juggled some chapters around this morning. There will be new content very soon!

**Shout outs to cellotlix: To Be Free, mille libri: At Your Side and last but not least, Milena Jace: Raven.** **Just in case you haven't noticed, I loved your stories.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 15**

"We must be careful," Fenris said coolly, as they approached the Holding Cave's entrance, two miles inland from the Wounded Coast. It had taken them a little over an hour to get that far, the occasional run-in with slave hunters, gigantic spiders and Tevinter thugs were sure to create some minor set backs when you were trying climb up a sodding mountain.

"There were many such holdings once," the elf continued. "**_Especially_** in the mountains, where individual slavers kept private pens. They were designed to protect against raids by other slavers. No doubt it's why Hadriana chose this place."

"Do slavers attack each other often?" Hawke asked, as the all came to a stop in front of the cave.

"They did," Fenris said, turning to her. "What better way to finds slaves then to steal them? The holdings outside of Tevinter have mostly been abandoned. But they still exist."

"Maybe she just wanted to redecorate," Varric suggested as he studied the turned over wagons and skeletons that greeted them. "Adding a few flowers couldn't hurt."

"Flowers would be _**lovely**_ a touch," Anders agreed, smiling devilishly. "A small patch of daffodils by the mangled corpses here, some marigolds by the desecrated carts over there. It could be quite cozy."

"They're- they're not serious, are they?" Sebastian asked starring at Hawke with his eyebrows furrowed.

Hawke sighed, closing her eyes and holding a hand to her forehead.

"Hadriana's not flowers kind of woman," Fenris growled, before turning sharply and stumping off into the cave.

"Cute," Hawke said, smirking at Varric and Anders as she began to cautiously follow the elf.

"Oh, come on," Varric chided, hurrying along side her, with Anders and Sebastian not far behind them. "Ya know, you and Broody have been no fun at all since we set out on this suicide mission."

The Holding Caves were everything Hawke had expected: a cold, dark, hopeless place. The firetraps that lined the dirt walls, seemed to serve only to emphasize the darkness, it's dreary gleam dancing over its rusted chains. Somewhere in the distance, someone was screaming. The sound reaching them as it echoed softly through the vast caverns, causing the small hairs to rise on the back of Hawke's neck. She shivered.

Fenris ears twitched as he listened intently to the eerie cries. "They're still here. Good," he spat.

"Yes, it's a real comfort," Varric groaned.

They moved through the caves in relative silence. The only real noise being made was when one of them would twitch, reaching for their trusted weapon as they waited for the inevitable ambush. After passing through a massive stone doorway leading into large chamber dimly by torches, Hawke stopped, her jaw going slack as she gaped at the scene that lay before them.

"Look," she whispered as Varric and Fenris came to stand beside her. Hawke pointed to a stone altar at the far side of the room.

The shrine was drenched in fresh blood and a corpse was shackled to its surface. It was an elderly, elven man, and a slave no doubt. There were clean, almost surgical marks that marred his throat and wrists. The poor man's face was still marred with terror, his eyes and mouth opened wide, forever frozen in his finally gruesome moments.

Hawke had seen plenty of dead bodies, a number of which she herself was responsible for. But this… this was ghastly. She felt her gut twist and before she realized what her body was trying to do, she turned away quickly as she hunched over. Clutching the tops of her knees with her hands, she began to cough violently and retched.

"See for yourself," Fenris sneered. He gently rubbed a hand over the back of Hawke's shoulders before he continued to move towards the bloody table. "The legacy of the Magisters."

Sebastian was already standing at the dead man's side. With his head bowed, he raised his hand and held it over the corpse as he began to pray. "Blessed be the souls of the faithful, that they ascend to your right hand-"

"Blood Magic," Anders said grimly as he followed the elf to the altar. "It's a… ritual sacrifice for- well it's intend to generate a vast amount of-"

"Power," Fenris interjected, "In my experience mages always find a way to justify their _**need**_ for it."

"You alright, Hawke?" Varric asked eying her as she carefully began to cross the room. "Let me know if you need me to hold your hair back or something. Would be an absolute tragedy to stink up those stylish bangs of yours."

"Ha, ha. Very funny," gripped Hawke while she blew a few stray wisps of hair out of her eyes. She stared down at the elven corpse.

Varric meant well, and she knew that the dwarf's joking was his way of dealing with the cruel reality of their current situation. Under normal circumstances she would have happily teased him right back. However, this was a far cry from their usual jobs and she was in no mood for banter.

Fenris had told her time and again that the mages of Tevinter and his former masters were nothing short of monsters. He had repeatedly gone on, in great length about all of the terrible things that Danarius had ever done to him and made him do to others. Hawke had never doubted a word of it, but seeing it here with nowhere else to turn, with no other possible diversions, seemed to bring everything Fenris had ever told her into a sharp and brutal focus.

There was magic in her blood, her father and Bethany both were mages and good people. Hawke was beginning to wonder if perhaps she had been lucky and they were the few rare exceptions rather than the rule. What other mages had she ever really known besides them? There was Anders and Merrill or course- but neither of them were really a shining example of good mages. Merrill practiced blood magic and Anders… he was a good man, despite the fact that he had allowed himself to be possessed by a so called **_spirit_**.

_Maybe Fenris is right. Maybe the circle is a necessary evil_. _Seeing the alternative doesn't leave me feeling very inspired to stand up for mage rights._ The thought sent a chill shooting down Hawke's spine and goose bumps popped up the length of her arm.

She touched the corpse's hand, before gingerly lifting it and turning it over in her own. "He's still warm and his limbs haven't turned rigid. He couldn't have been here for more than an hour or so."

Hawke turned her gaze from the battered elves body and looked into Fenris' harsh penetrating eyes. He stood rigidly beside her as he glared down at the dead man's vacant face.

"Fenris, I promise you. Hadriana won't escape us."

He gave her a weak, yet appreciative smile. "Let's hope this isn't a waste of ti-" He was interrupted by a shrill scream, closer this time and distinctly female.

Fenris spun around, moving with fierce determination as he followed the troubling sounds with Hawke and all the others swiftly running after him. It led them out of the room and into a cavernous hall, where a group of slavers were attempting to drag a frail looking elven girl through the passageway.

"Please!" The girl cried out, kicking and failing as they dragged her. "I'll do whatever she wants! Please don't hurt me!"

In a flash of white light, Fenris shot forward like an arrow from Varric's crossbow, phasing into the lyrium as he went. The element of surprise served him well, for half of the slavers hadn't even realized that they were there and hadn't had the chance to bring their weapons to arm before Fenris began viciously cutting them down. The men that managed to avoid the tremendous blows of Fenris' great sword circled around him. Hiding behind their round shields as they shouted jeering remarks and made pointed jabs at the lyrium tattooed elf with their short blades.

This left the Tevinter goons wide open to attack as a result. Hawke snuck around the slavers on careful feet as Varric and Sebastian's expertly aimed arrows began to whiz past her and Anders spells encased her in layers magical armor. By the time the slavers cut wind of the danger it was too late. One spun around in a quick attempt to defend himself as his comrades to either side fell to the ground with arrows through their chests. He lunged his sword at Hawke but she was much too fast for him. Hawke slipped her daggers in between his ribs and helped him slowly to the ground as he took his final breathe.

It was over fairly quickly after that. Hawke knelt down over one of the one of the men she had dispatched and wrenched her dagger from his chest. Wiping the blood off her blade on the dead slavers leather armor as she rose, she found Fenris standing over the feeble, elf now cowering in the corner with her arms held over her head as she attempted to shield herself from him.

"Are you hurt?" Fenris asked, his tone uncommonly gentle as he offered her his hand and helped her to her feet.

It was the first time Hawke had ever seen a _**real**_ slave and the sight of her only increased her new growing sense of weariness towards mages. The girl's frightened amber eyes were wide as she passed her gaze over them all. Her brittle, blonde hair was pulled back in a sloppy twisted bun and she was painfully thin, even for an elf, all bone and severe jutting angles.

"They've- they've been killing everyone," the girl sobbed. "They cut papa- bled him."

"Why?" Hawke asked as she came to stand beside Fenris. "Why would they do this?"

"No wonder the Maker abandoned his children," Sebastian said returning his elegant bow to his shoulders and crossing his arms; looking detached and miserable.

"It's a demon at work," Anders said. "By now there is nothing human left inside."

"The Magister, she said she needed power. That someone was trying to kill her. We tried to be good. We did everything we were told," the slave managed, with every word escaping from her lips seeming to cause her to become even more hysterical.

"It's alright. You're safe now," Hawke said gently, laying a hand on the girl's boney shoulder. "What is your name?"

"Orana," the girl hiccuped. "She loved papa's soup. I- I don't understand."

"Is the Magister still here?"

"I think so," her eyes flicked nervously to a bronze, metal door at the end of the long dark corridor in which they stood. She began to raise her hand, gesturing towards it but stopped midway. "Th-the Magister said that they were to prepare for battle. I think- I think she's very frightened," Orana stammered, with genuine concern.

"She has every reason to be," Fenris hissed.

"Please don't hurt her," Orana whimpered as she began to visibly shake. "She'll be so angry if you hurt her."

"This has been terrible for you," Hawke said, pity overtaking all of her other senses as she stared at the trembling elf.

"Everything was fine until today."

"It wasn't," Fenris said, unable to keep the sad anger from his voice as he cast his contempt filled eyes to the floor. "You just didn't know any better."

Orana's sharp eyebrows rose high as she stared hopefully at Fenris, she stepped towards him as an unnerving smile distorted her hollowed face. "Are you my master now?"

"Wh- NO!"

"But I can cook, I can clean," Orana said, a trill panic returning to her voice. "What else will I do?"

"Trust me," Varric interjected. "If you saw the elf's place, you'd wish you had never said that."

Hawke shot Varric a murderous look, but was unable to prevent herself from snorting. The dwarf snickered to himself as he proudly buffed his nails on the lapel of his coat and elbowed her side."That's my girl," the dwarf whispered.

Hawke elbowed him back and cleared her throat before returning her attention to Orana, studying the elf carefully, "If you go to Kirkwall, I can help you. I could use some help around the house, Orana."

Fenris nearly chocked from the shock as he glared at Hawke with disgusted rage. "I didn't know you were in the market for a slave."

"I'm giving her a job, Fenris," Hawke barked back, affronted. "Should she agree, I will pay her for her work. And she is free to leave my service whenever she chooses to," she said venomously before turning back to Orana. "Do you understand what I am offering? I am not your master. I am your employer. You are more than welcome to turn me down if there is somewhere else you'd rather go."

"What do ya say, gorgeous?" Varric said, as he flashed Hawke an approving grin. "You want to work for the almighty, Missere Hawke here?"

Orana's face twisted with confusion as she looked from Varric to Hawke; still not quite understanding what was transpiring. "Wh-what do I… Want?" She asked, her eyes becoming impossibly large.

"Sure, it's a choice," the dwarf assured her with chuckle.

"I…" Her eyes locked on Hawke's, a fretful and genuine smile spreading across her face as the wheels in her head continued to turn. "Y-yes? Mistress?"

"None of that," Hawke said, shooting Fenris another furious glance. "My name is Hawke. Not mistress. Okay?"

"Yes Mis- alright," Orana said blinking, slightly dazed.

"It's settled then," Hawke said as she turned back towards the others. "Sebastian, I hate to ask this of you, but could you-"

"Escort the our friend back to the city?" Sebastian asked helpfully. He smiled as he gave Hawke a low and gracious bow. "Of course, Serah."

Hawke smiled in return, "Thank you, Sebastian. Here, take this and get Orana some food on your way back," she said as she took Sebastian's hand and dropped several pieces of silver in his palm. "Be sure to tell Bodhan I sent you, he is likely to pitch a little bit of a fit over this. And assure my mother I will be returning shortly and not to worry, I know what I'm doing... Sort of. Best not to mention that last bit."

Sebastian chuckled and nodded. "I shall. If you are ever in need of my assistance again, Hawke, you know that you may always find me in the Chantry," he said with his expression turning grave. "You must put an end to these Maleficarum and this… Madness. We cannot let them continue to torture these innocent souls," with that he bowed to her once more before gently taking Orana by the arm and leading the gaunt elf back to the chambers exit. "May Andraste guide your path."

"Oh alright- so Choir Boy isn't all bad… Doesn't mean he isn't a major kill-joy, though," Varric said.

Anders laughed, and Hawke really wanted to. But all she could manage was a slight smirk while she continued to pointedly stare at Fenris with her arms crossed.

"That… Ah- You... How could I-" Fenris started and stopped, shuffling his feet and turning preposterously red as he performed his little dance of shame. Taking a deep breath, he stepped towards her without daring to meet her glaring grey eyes.

He opened his mouth to apologize but Hawke shook her head, and raised a hand to his lips. "I know how upset you are. You have every reason to be. But it wouldn't hurt if could try and you remember who your friends are," she said speaking slow and deliberate, barely loud enough for even his elven ears to hear. She brushed the back of her fingers against his cheek before stepping around him and striding down the dark passageway towards the bronze door which Orana had indicated. "Come on."

Fenris, Varric and Anders obeyed Hawke's simple command and quickly followed her.

"Let's find Hadriana and be done with this place," Fenris said as he returned to her side.

Watching him from the corner of her eye, Hawke could not suppress the sly smile that greedily curved the corners of her lips at the sight of his long blushing ears. "I couldn't agree mo-" she began as she reached for the doors rusted handle.

"STOP!" Anders warned, grabbing Hawke and pulling her back by her elbow.

"What? What is-"

"Shhh!" Anders ordered putting himself between Hawke and the entryway.

He held his staff in a defensive position as he whispered a quiet incantation, swinging the door slowly inward. None of them dare move as they stared into the vast blackness ahead of them.

"So, does anyone else feel like we just walked into a trap?" Varric snarled under his breath as he lifted and aimed his precious Bianca into the lightless void. "Just me? Good to know."

"SHADES!" Shouted Anders. He pointed his staff at the ghost like creature that glowed an ultra violet purple as it emerged from the floor in the center of the room. Lightening bolts shot down Anders' arms and soared from the end of his brilliant bronze staff before drowning the aberration in wild electrical currents. "Destructive forces of nature coming up!"

The firetraps along the edges of the walls sprang to life while more demons began to appear and they took no time in ascending upon their group. "Showing up uninvited," Hawke laughed bitterly, as she twirled her blades from their sheaths prepared for the fight. "So improper."

"Do forgive me," came a woman's ice-cold voice from over the fray. Behind the growing horde of soulless beasts, a red robed figure with a sliver, gem encrusted staff slinked its way out from the shadows. Her sleek pitch, black hair and pale skin made her sky blue irises appear to be milky white in comparison. The mage's frightening gaze lit up like a firecracker when it landed on Fenris. She snapped her fingers and the Shades all seemed to freeze where they stood. "But I do believe you have something that belongs to a very dear friend of mine," she said licking her lips. "I knew you would be fool enough to come here, slave."

"Hadriana," Fenris growled. "I will enjoy bringing you to your knees, witch." With that Fenris let out a tremendous battle cry before his body lit up like a bomb fire, lighting the entire chamber with his feral white radiance as he ran towards her.

Hadriana raised her arms, hissing in Tevinter and releasing her collection monsters. They jolted forward as she rammed the bottom of her staff into the floor, engulfing herself in a shield of pure arcane energy, she began to viciously laugh.

"Coward!" Fenris roared, singled mindedly continuing his brazen assault. His target was within sight and he was not going to let Hadriana get away that easily. He obliterated anything and everything that risked crossing his path.

Varric and Anders both moved promptly to follow after the glowing elf when Hawke threw out her arm in front of them, stopping them both in their tracks. "Do you really want to see what happens if you get in his way?" She asked, yelling over the sounds of Fenris' ferocious attack.

"Touché'," Anders said, wincing.

"Looks like we got some friends of are own to entertain, anyway," Varric said as the majority Shades closed in on them.

"Lovely," Anders whined before skillfully spinning his staff and crouching into a battle ready stance.

"Here we go," Hawke said, shifting her weight back before diving into her routine of elegant cartwheels and back flips. Dodging in and out of the clustered Shades, slicing her daggers through every one she encountered with graceful precision.

Varric was only a few feet ahead of her. Rushing forward like a charging bull with his arms stretched out from his sides as he swiped the creature's airy legs from under them. "Bianca baby! Let's make it rain!" The dwarf cried out with delight. He unleashed an entire quiver of bolts into the air, sending his arrows hailing down around them, bringing the Shades to a stand still. Giving Hawke and Fenris both, all the more opportunity to cut them down.

Anders held back, directing waves of healing and protection crashing over them as the melee continued. Every now and then, when the Shades were getting a little too close to Hawke for his own comfort, he would let lose another tirade of lightening. Sending the creatures flying back and slamming into the caverns dirt walls.

"Want to see what's under these robes?!" Anders shouted at the lone demon, straggler. It was closing in on Hawke from behind before Anders fired a final ball of electricity and hit creature square in its chest.

Hawke laughed as she pulled a small flask of Chameleon's Breath from the leather pouch attached to her belt. It was a foul smelling, black and bubbly concoction, that Hawke knew all too well. Testing the weight of it in her hand, she smiled, shooting Anders a mischievous wink as she smashed the flask into cold dirt floor by her feet and vanished in a cloud of thick black smoke.

The demon had hurdled backwards but managed to regain control of itself before colliding with the wall behind it. Finding the vapors of dark smoke that lingered where Hawke had once been standing, the Shade appeared to panic. It swung its head from side to side searching for her with obvious confusion.

"Miss me?" Hawke asked with a quick flip of her blades. Only mere seconds after shattering the porcelain flask, she reappeared standing inches away from the creature's back. The Shade never stood a chance. Hawke buried her knives deep within the soft tissue between its shoulder blades and the demon released an other worldly shriek as it crumbled to the ground.

There was a scream and the three of them spun around to find Fenris amongst of sea of death as he repeatedly crashed his great sword on Hadriana's diminishing shields with lyrium infused speed and strength. The Tevinter blood mage was weakening by the second, her arms trembling violently and sweat pouring down her face as she held up her staff with both hands.

Hadriana stumbled when her shields finally gave way. Fenris stood before her, raising his hand with his fingers splayed. He grinned as a ball of dark energy grew in his palm and he fired a lyrium spirit pulse directly into the blood mage's face. She flew backward before coming to a grinding halt and lay there, sprawled out on the dust-covered floor with her staff still held firmly to her side.

Fenris advanced on her and kicked her staff from her hands; it clattered noisily in the corner. The lyrium surged over him again, his knuckles turning white as he clutched onto the pommel of his sword. With slow deliberate movements, he wound his massive blade over his shoulder, preparing to lop off her head.

"Stop!" Hadriana gasped, bolting upright and shielding her face with her arm. "You do not want me dead!"

"There is only one person I want dead more," Fenris snarled.

"I have information elf. And I will trade it in return for my life."

"HA!" Fenris smiled, baring his teeth like a hungry wolf ready to strike. "The location of Denarius? What good will that do me? I'd rather he lose his pet pupil."

"You have a sister," Hadriana said staring back at Fenris with her strange eyes piercing like so many knives. "She is alive."

Fenris dropped his arms to his side as if all of his strength had left him. Still clinging onto his sword with one hand, its steel blade made a horrible metallic clang upon making contact with the floor. Everything stopped. For a moment no one in the room moved, spoke or even breathed.

Hadriana cautiously began to lift herself up off the ground. Situating her self on her knees, her eyes narrowed and lips curled slyly as she watched Fenris with growing confidence. "You wish to reclaim your life? Let me go and I will tell you where she is."

"How do we know if you're even telling the truth?" Hawke said as she moved quickly to Fenris' side, her voice barbed with mistrust.

At this, Hadriana laughed, a slightly hysterical sound. "You don't. But I know Fenris. And I know what he's searching for. If he wants me to betray Denarius," she said straightening her shoulders, her voice low and deadly. "He'll have to pay for it."

Hawke turned to Fenris and nodded. "This is your call," she said stepping back, fully aware of the outcome no matter what Fenris agreed to do. He was not going to let this witch walk out of here alive. And she had no desire to stop him.

"So I have your word? I tell you and you let me go?" Hadriana asked.

Fenris bent down low, so that his and Hadriana's face were only inches apart. "Yes," he snarled. "You have my word."

"Her name is Varania, she's in Qarinus serving for a Magister by the name of Ahriman."

"A servant? Not a slave?"

"She's not a slave," Hadriana said, her voice pleading. Her eyes began to widen, as she stared at the elf. The color drained from her face, her former confidence replaced with growing fear and distrust.

"I believe you," Fenris said. The lyrium sang over his skin and he surged forward, his fist plunging into her chest. He held her small, cold heart, watching the horror that poured from Hadriana's every pour before crushing it in his hand, leaving only a pultaceous mess its wake. Hadriana made no sound as she slumped to the ground, and no breath escaped her lips as she fell.

"We are done here," he said, sheathing his sword and stepping over the dead mage's prone form.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Hawke asked, watching him warily.

"No! I don't want to talk about it!" He snapped, his green eyes burning. "This could be a trap. Denarius could have sent Hadriana her to tell me about this… Sister. Even if he didn't, trying to find her would be suicide. Denarius has to know about her and has to know that Hadriana knows. But all that matters is that I finally got to crush this bitch's heart. May she rout… and all the other mages with her."

"Maybe we should leave," said Hawke as she tentatively placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Don't comfort me," Fenris shouted, jerking away from her. "You saw what was done here. There's always going to be some reason, some excuse for why mages need to do this."

"And here I thought you were unreasonable," Anders spat, crossing his arms as he shamelessly stared daggers at the ranting elf.

"Blondie- I hate to interrupt," Varric cautioned, in a low harsh whisper from the corner of his mouth. "But maybe now isn't the best time to be offering the elf constructive criticism."

"Even if I found my sister," Fenris continued as he paced agitatedly back and forth, ignoring Anders and Varric entirely. "Who knows what the mages have done to her. What does magic touch that it doesn't spoil?"

Hawke's face went white and she recoiled as her heart sank like a stone into the pit of her stomach. _I'm __**touched**__ by magic, _she thought as her eyes feel helplessly to the floor._ It has been in my bloodline generation whether I- He... likes or not._

Fenris stood shell shocked, his eyes widening with alarm as the meaning of his words slapped him straight across the face. An expression of infinite self-loathing crossed his angled features and he slowly backed away. "I… need to go," he said, turning on his heel and bolting out of the room.

"Fenris!" Hawke called, she hesitated for a fraction of a second before running out into the hall after him.

But he was already gone.


End file.
